M. Night Shaym-Aliens!

Rick and Morty 1x4

Goldenfold: All right, who can tell me what 5×9 is?.. Morty?.. What is 5×9?
Morty: Umm... you know, it’s uhh... at least 40.
Goldenfold: Morty, that’s exactly correct! 5×9 is at least 40!

Rick: Morty, that’s not class. That wasn’t your teacher. This isn’t your school. This entire world is not the world. We’re inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship.
Morty: Wait a minute. W-what are you talking about?
Rick: It’s all fake, Morty all of it. Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of crazy fake nonsense, Morty.

Rick: Zigerion scammers, Morty. The galaxy’s most ambitious, least successful con artists. You know, it’s lucky for us they’re also really uncomfortable with nudity.

Morty: Aw, come on, Rick. If everyone’s just gonna be insane today, at least let me be insane with Jessica.

Rick: Are you sure you haven’t seen that somewhere in real life before?
Morty: No, no. I haven’t seen that. I mean, why would a pop tart want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, that would be, like, the scariest place for them to live. You know what I mean?
Rick: You’re missing the point, Morty. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No.

Morty: What are we gonna do?
Rick: We’ll scam the scammers, Morty. And we’re gonna take them for everything they’ve got.

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Morty: Aw, geez, Rick. I don’t know if I like this plan, you know? I mean, crowds, they have a tendency to make me really nervous.
Rick: Morty, relax. It’s just a bunch of 1s and 0s out there. You’re gonna be fine. Just follow my lead.

Rick: Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an «L» who isn’t hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times as the square root of your age times 10!... Run, Morty! Before the system reboots!

Rick: Huh. I thought I entered the code right...
Prince Nebulon: Wha well, what’s this? What could this possibly be? Because it looks like you’re inside a simulation... Inside a simulation! You’re still on the ship. Game-day bucket go boom!

Nebulon: Oh, my God, Rick. How dumb are you? You’re inside a simulation... Of a simulation... Inside another giant simulation! We never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. But we do now! We do now, sucka!

Rick: You simulated my grandson’s genitalia?! You bunch of diabolical sons of bitches!

Nebulon: Aww. Look at his face. He’s trying to figure out if he’s in a simulation still. Are you, Rick? Are you?.. You’re not... Or are you?

Jerry: You know what, Rick? Those guys took you for a ride, too. You should try having a little respect for the dummies of the universe, now that you’re one of us.
Rick: Maybe you’re right, Jerry. Maybe you’re right.

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