Dessert at Olive Garden

Atypical 4×10

Sam: Sometimes it's hard to know the difference between science and magic. Like Fata Morgana. Fata Morgana is an optical illusion where objects in the distance appear to be hovering over the surface of the water. There's a scientific explanation for it... but to most people, it just looks like magic.

Elsa: They've offered you a spot on their trip to Alaska.
Casey: Think about it. They're both cold. They both start and end with A. You could spend weekends in Juneau, maybe shoot up to Denali and tussle with a bear.
Sam: Alaska? Alaska is nothing like Antarctica!

Zahid: Uh, s... sorry, I don't mean to bother you. Um, I just needed to borrow some tools from Chip.
Honey: I don't have a lot of tools, but I should get some though.
Zahid: Huh.
Honey: I should get some... really big tools.
Zahid: Oh.
Honey: I do have a hammer. Did you wanna nail anything?
Zahid: Um... But, um... Ugh.
Honey: I don't have a screwdriver though, so we can't screw.
Zahid: I'm just trying to help my friend... "I'm just trying to help my friend"?! I mean, what was I thinking?

Zahid: Wait a minute. Am I a nicer guy after my surgery? Did I have a bad ball? Is it possible that my right nut was the evil twin?
Sam: I don't think so. I think it's pretty clear you're wrong.
Zahid: Life's pretty funny, huh? Turns out I had to lose a testicle to become a better man.
Sam: You're not that much better.

Sam: You can still make out some of the words.
Paige: "Smart, loyal, clean shoes."
Sam: And I wrote that after knowing you for, like, a week. And now I've known you for 116 weeks, and you are smarter and more loyal and have cleaner shoes than I ever could have imagined.

—
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Player's Ball

Atypical 4×9

Sam: We can have a party. I don't care what we call it.
Zahid: Really? You're usually so party averse.
Sam: Not this time. I need to stimulate my hippocampus.
Zahid: Well, that doesn't sound appropriate...
Sam: My hippocampus. It's the part of the brain that deals with navigation, memory retention, and emotional regulation.

Elsa: You know I love you, but...
Doug: Why do you have to start with that? When you start with that, I always know something bad is coming now.

Sam: Dad, save the date. There's a must-attend brain-enlarging event this Saturday night.
Doug: Well, I'm working Saturday, but if it's important, maybe I can change my shift.
Sam: We're saying goodbye to Zahid's testicle.
Doug: I'll keep my shift.

Paige: Son of a baked potato!

Zahid: "'Go-nad, ' we all said.
                So he went ahead and went,
                my fine, loyal ball."
Okay, who wants to read their haiku to my testicle next?

Zahid: I'm so sorry.
Casey: Me too.
Sam: Me three, obviously.

—
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Magical Bird #2

Atypical 4×8

Sam: First, seat belt. Secure, but not painful. Good amount of give. Next, mirrors. Paige says mirrors are useless, but I believe she's wrong. Now I will start the car to check temperature and sound.
Casey: Ugh!
Sam: And finally, I will review a few rules of the road.
Casey: No.
Sam: My manual!
Casey: Stop getting ready to drive and just drive.

Casey: Oh my God, you are so annoying.
Sam: In preparation for this, I got very familiar with Connecticut driving laws. You're doing it all wrong.
Casey: At least I have my eyes open.
Sam: That's probably the only thing you do better than I would.

Elsa: So I have a lot of nervous energy today, and I figure our choices are get into a big fight or do something fun. So do you wanna have a date?

Sam: I've never carried a dog before. I'm not sure how it will feel.
Casey: They're warm and squirmy. But, hey, you might have to carry one of your sled dogs someday, if one of them gets tired.
Sam: I suppose that's true.

—
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Channel the Cat

Atypical 4×7

Sam: But she's awful!
Zahid: I know. But ever since I found out about my love lump, I'm all about the Gretch. It's like my junk has taken over. I'm not even the one that called her. My dong dialed the phone, Sam. It wasn't a butt dial. It was a... a nut dial.
Sam: I doubt that.

Zahid: Anyhoo, you got nothing to worry about, brother. This time around, me and Gretch are purely sexual. We're just two mutually-consenting alphas sport-grinding our way through the Kama Sutra. It's like a bucket list for my balls.

Sam: You're acting like Robert Falcon Scott.
Zahid: Thank you?
Sam: You're not welcome. Successful explorers plan and take precautions, but Robert Falcon Scott just wanted to be macho. So he tried to cross Antarctica by man-hauling.
Zahid: What is that?
Sam: It means he and his crew carried all of their equipment and supplies instead of using dogs. They got so tired, they died.

Sam: No, I know I can draw something ugly. I just need to concentrate, even though that's gonna be even harder now that my girlfriend wants to ramp up our sex life.
Sid: Well, there's your problem. You can't channel the cat because you're too worried about the puss.
Sam: What?
Sid: Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Mozart. All the greats swore off sex to maximize artistic output.

Paige: No, we don't have dysfunction. I just wanted to liven things up a teeny tiny bit.
Gretchen: Oh, Paige, you're so dumb.
Paige: Excuse me?!
Gretchen: Look, if you wanna knock more boots, you just gotta figure out your guy's kink.
Paige: His what?

Gretchen: Okay, so... Guys are like animals, and not even smart ones like dolphins. So you just gotta figure out what makes them tick. Like, Zahid is super visual. Watch and learn... Three, two, one.
Zahid: Madam. I require your attendance in the boudoir.
Paige: So, we've all seen my butt.

Elsa: It's just so scary. It's terrifying to see your kids go out into the world.
Lillian: But how much scarier would it be if they didn't?

—
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Are You in Fair Health?

Atypical 4×6

Sam: In 1912, explorer Titus Oates told Robert Falcon Scott he was going outside for a little walk. He was never seen again.
     In 1982, three British scientists left Faraday Station for a day hike across the sea ice to a nearby island, but a storm blew through and broke up the ice. They never made it back.
     So many people went missing in Antarctica, they made a new rule. Anytime you go anywhere, you have to fill out a form so they know if you don't show up.
     Even though it's still dangerous to take a walk in Antarctica, thanks to the new protocol, there's always someone looking out for you.
     It may not seem like a big deal to know someone's keeping tabs on you, but it makes disappearing into icy nothingness a bit less scary.

Doug: Well, I'm thinking Thursday we're gonna drive up to Bear Mountain. It's about a six-mile loop. It's really pretty up there.
Casey: Great. I'll die in nature.

Casey: She's fun, right?
Elsa: Yeah, I like her. ... I do not like her. Everything's about her, and everything she says is subtly sort of mean. Like, it seems benign, but after, you feel bad.
Doug: Mm. Sounds like your mother...

Ashley: Does he require daily care?
Sam: Yes.
Ashley: Cleaning?
Sam: Yes.
Ashley: Love?
Sam: Yes.
Ashley: Not my jam.

Casey: Okay, I'm gonna keep running.
Sam: I'm gonna keep sitting.

—
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Dead Dreams

Atypical 4×5

Sam: Adaptation means changing to increase your chances of survival in a specific environment. Animals are way better at that than us humans. Way better...
     You probably already know this, but the fish in Antarctica are evolutionary wonders. Over 90% have developed an antifreeze protein in their blood that prevents them from freezing to death in the icy water. Now that's what I call adapting. ....
     Adaptation happens when there's no other choice, when it's change or die. Us humans, we usually just die.

Doug: Wow, Argentina, that's cool.
Sam: Cooler even than you think.

Elsa: So you figured out your project?
Sam: Yes. My proposal centers around this colony. The emperor penguins in Antarctica are in danger of extinction due to climate change. I will document this colony using my art in order to capture their essence. In 80 years, they might not exist. That sounds like a long time, but it's not. I'll be dead, but just by a little. You two will be long gone.
Casey: Wow, this is really cool, Sam. It kind of makes me want to go to Antarctica.

Elsa: Um, well, Sam's... Sam has some very ambitious plans lately, and it's got me thinking about dreams, a young person's dreams. We all had them. We were all that starry-eyed kid, right? So, we know what happens. They die. Dreams die. They get crushed under the bootheel of real life. That's why they're called "dreams" and not "what actually happened." None of us get what we want. We all end up disappointed. And that's okay. That's reality.

Zahid: Who?
Sam: Niles Blanderman. He was an Australian polar explorer who went missing in the 1950s. They found him frozen under eight feet of ice. His corpse was almost perfectly preserved.
Zahid: Yeesh. Does that happen a lot?
Sam: Freezing, yes. Finding, no.

—
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Starters and Endings

Atypical 4×4

Sam: At the very minimum, humans need three things to survive: food, shelter, and water. .... Of the three basic needs for survival, food, water, and shelter, in Antarctica, finding water is never a problem, and people can survive for days or even weeks without food. But if you go even one night in Antarctica without shelter, well, say goodbye to life.

Sam: Now I just have to find the right program to go to Antarctica. It's not as simple as hopping on a plane, and a boat, and a ferry, and another plane, and an all-terrain vehicle of some sort. If only it were that simple.

Elsa: But we're still waiting for this crazy plan of his to go away, right?
Doug: Actually, no. If I've learned anything lately, it's that life is short. And if Sam wants to go to Antarctica, he should go to Antarctica... as soon as he can.

—
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You Say You Want a Revolution

Atypical 4×3

Paige: How? When? To do what?
Sam: How? I'm not sure. When? As soon as possible. To do what? Also not sure.

Doug: Can we please just spend the next 50 years or so having a nice, boring life?
Elsa: Yes, boring. I would love that.
Doug: Library trips... leaf collecting, anything redundant... monotonous--
Sam: I'm dropping out of school and going to Antarctica.

Doug: Wh... What do we make of this?
Elsa: I think we let it play out. Big ideas like this tend to go away on their own. I mean, why be the naysayers when time and logistics can do it for us?
Doug: That's good. I like that. A swift kick in the ass from life. You're devious.

Sam: Stay still.
Noelle: I can't. It's impossible. I'm a human.
Sam: Stop talking.
Noelle: I can't. It's impossible. I'm chatty.

Penelope: You know, people will buy anything if you market it properly. We're basically just highly evolved fish, you know? We like the sparklies.

—
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Master of Penguins

Atypical 4×2

Professor Judd: What's your plan, you know, after college?
Sam: After college? I have no idea. I never thought I would get this far.

Sam: At least you know what job you want. All I know is what job I'm terrible at: interviewer. Paige: Survey stuff was hard?
Sam: Yes. I had to ask all these people questions, and I was supposed to care what they had to say. It was horrible.

Paige: If I were a manager, would I still have to wear the potato?
Laird: Managers don't wear the potato.

Casey: Okay, fine, you win. You can help me. But no being annoying or overbearing or lovey-dovey or dumb.
Doug: Deal.
Elsa: I can't promise any of that.

—
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Magical Bird #1

Atypical 4×1

Sam: In the beginning of a journey, no one knows what to expect. Sure, they might have a vague idea that the road ahead could be rough. But no one sets off on an expedition thinking, "In four months, I'll have a crippling case of scurvy and be forced to eat a sled dog."

Elsa: And this is where you can sit when we talk when I FaceTime you every night.
Sam: Every night?
Elsa: I talked myself down from three times a day, so that is my best and final offer.

Sam: That's what makes new beginnings so exciting. You don't know what will happen until it's over.

Doug: You know, we spend a lot of time with each other on this job. Sometimes it's good to just... be quiet.

Sam: Okay. Rule number one. Only check off the boxes when the task is completed.
Zahid: Check. For real.
Sam: Rule number two. Stop buying in bulk.
Zahid: Word. I got that Costco card, and I got drunk with power.
Sam: Rule number three. No loud, angry typewriter-ing when I'm home.
Zahid: I will rage alone. It is for the best. Is that all? Great. Well, if anything else pops up, you let me know.

Zahid: I got you something.
Sam: A trash can?
Zahid: A second trash can. We can have one in each spot.
Sam: Smart. Two trash cans is literally twice as good as one.
Zahid: You know, rules aren't a bad idea. But instead of a million, can we do, like, three each?

Sam: I think this is gonna work.
Zahid: Me too, roomie. Weed brownie?
Sam: No.
Zahid: Dance party?
Sam: No.
Zahid: Sit quietly and enjoy each other's company in silence?
Sam: Sure.

—
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Searching for Brown Sugar Man

Atypical 3×10

Abby: Let's make a new account. Who would he wanna follow?
Sam: I don't know.
Abby: Well, what does he love more than anything in the world?
Sam: At weed, boobs, and dragons?

Sam: Do you drive?
Abby: No, do you?
Sam: Not with my eyes open.

Paige: This is so exciting! It's our first road trip. And our first wedding breakup.

Paige: What are you doing, you incompetent turd-sack! God, I will rip out your spine and eat it for dinner and use it to pick my frickin' teeth!

We're not homies anymore.
Sam: A wise you once said not to let one setback get you down.
I was naive, a fool... a wretch, unfit for this or any other world. And now I must suffer the consequences.

Sam: Okay, if you're gonna pass this test, we gotta study. "During data clustering, a nurse does what?"
Zahid: Clustering... Cluster F... orgy... nurse orgy?
Abby: That doesn't sound right.
Zahid: Shh. It's how I study. I find the fun words in the boring words. Nurse orgy, orgy-nizes... Oh! Nurse organizes cues into patterns that lead to the identification of diagnoses.
Sam: Correct.

Evan: I've spent most of my life just doing whatever is easy. And now I'm doing this EMT stuff, and it's really hard, but it's good. Now I feel like I've got a purpose. So, you know, just don't do the easy thing. Do the hard stuff.

Sam: I was really upset to have to take ethics at first... because there's no right or wrong answers and that's just dumb... But I did learn some things... mostly about myself, about how what's right and wrong changes... Everything changes, depending on the things and the people you love. And how even when something seems difficult or dangerous... there are instances when that doesn't matter at all.

--
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Sam Takes a Walk

Atypical 3×9

Casey: Nothing looks good in fingerless gloves.

Abby: What am I looking at?
Sam: Justice.
Abby: Tiny little person up against a monster. I did a lot of that kind of art during my parents' divorce. You're angry.
Sam: My best friend said he doesn't wanna be friends with me anymore, but I'm better off without him. And I had sex so I'm not angry.

Professor Shinerock: We live in a time where a lot of bad shit is happening...

Professor Shinerock: Sam, if you have a heart, you're political. If you don't, you're a jellyfish. Dig deep, sheep!

Professor Shinerock: Give into the dark side, Sam, what makes you furious.

Sam: The Magellanic penguins of Argentina, it's the single largest penguin colony in the world. It's like New York City for penguins. And it's a bloodbath. Normally, baby penguins have a one-in-three chance of survival because of predators, starvation...
Paige: Let's talk about something more sunny, yeah?
Sam: And thanks to humans and climate change, thousands more are freezing to death because of increased rainfall.

Paige: Hey, at least that little guy's escaping.
Sam: He's not escaping. He's committing suicide. The carnage around him pushed him over the edge. You try walking on eyeballs.

Sam: The problem with the Magellanic penguins is an extremely frustrating one. The penguin babies are too big for their parents to sit on to keep warm... but too young to have their waterproof feathers yet.

Izzie: I just hugged or high-fived at least 63 people on the way in. Do you have any hand sanitizer?
Ω Uh-oh. Not a very smart move.

Sam: Magellanic penguin chicks aren't built for heavy rains. Their feathers aren't waterproof. Maybe if the weather had changed
more gradually, they could have adapted. But it was so sudden. So how could they?

Elsa: Move ahead four spaces.
Doug: Okay. But why is it always four?
Elsa: Well, it's Sam's favorite number, of course.

Sam: There is some good news about Magellanic penguins. If they can survive the rain and grow up... their feathers change. They transform. They become waterproof. That helps them be more resilient.

--
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Road Rage Paige

Atypical 3×8

Sam: Unlike most other places in the world, there are only two seasons in Antarctica: summer and winter. As you can imagine, the first day of summer is always cause for celebration...

Zahid: I'm Zahid, Zahid Raja.
Sam: I'm Sam, Samuel Gardner.
Zahid: Bob tells me you're Australian.
Sam: Autistic.
Zahid: Good. I hate Australians.

Zahid: Here's what's gonna happen, Samuel Gardner. Bob thinks I'm gonna train you how to work here, but Bob is wrong. I'm going to train you in life.
Sam: And also how to work here?
Zahid: Yeah... But to be honest, I'm not a great employee. But I have a feeling that you might be.

Sam: Because there are only two seasons, though. the transition from one to the other can feel brutally fast. One moment things are warm and light and bright... and the next...

Bob: I'm sorry, buddy. Sometimes when people hurt us, it's just their way of expressing their own pain.

Sam: So what do I do?
Evan: I think sometimes when people act nuts, like if they get all grumpy at Don's Pizza for no reason at all, there might be something else going on underneath. So maybe just ask her if everything's okay with her.

Chuck: Look. The way I think about it, marriage is a choice you make every morning when you wake up.

Sam: And I don't know why you're worried about us. I told you that I loved you on graduation night, and I still love you, and I'm going to love you in the future no matter what you smell like.

Sam: Things can get a little nutty in the dark. And in Antarctica with six months of winter and darkness in a row... well, some very unexpected things
can happen.

Sam: The most exciting day of the year in Antarctica is the day the sun sets. There are parties and games and fun. And then just like that... it's dark.

--
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Shrinkage

Atypical 3×7

Professor Judd: The moral quandary, a state of uncertainty requiring a choice between equally unfavorable options. But if that's too confusing for your soft, millennial brains, let's call it a pickle.
Sam: That's actually more confusing.

Professor Judd: Well, think of it as a dilemma, Sam. Say you're the engineer of a runaway train, right? You go left and you kill five people you know that are tied to the tracks, but you go right, you kill 20 people that you don't know. What do you do?
Sam: Kill the five because less death. It's not a quandary.
Professor Judd: Okay... All right, say a guy robs a bank and he gives the money to orphans. Right? So you now have a choice. You can either turn him in, the money goes back to the bank or you can let him go and the orphans keep the money. What do you do?
Sam: Turn him in. Sorry, orphans. It's not a quandary.
Professor Judd: Well, you live in quite the black and white world, Mr. Gardner.

Professor Judd: Oh, as you leave, a reminder, the midterm exam will be in three weeks, and it will be soul crushing. So study all night... you just might pass. Party all night and you will likely fail.
Sam: I rarely party and when I do, it's never all night. Again, not a quandary.

Zahid: All right, Sammy, it's time for Zahidarella to head to the ball. How do I look?
Sam: Like a UPS truck.
Zahid: Okay, I can see that. Boxy, brown, and I deliver a big package.

---

Zahid: Sam, it's so fun being bossy. That's why Beyoncé couldn't ban that word. Also, who bans a word? That's bossy.

Zahid: Shrinkage.
Sam: What?
Zahid: Every company this size expects that customers will on occasion... remove items from the store without paying for them.
Sam: Stealing.
Zahid: It's called shrinkage, Sam. And it's built into the price of every single item. Honestly, it'd be more unusual if someone didn't take a Fitbit once in awhile.

Sam: Is Zahid the sort of person who makes morally questionable decisions?... 'You can kiss someone if they're married as long as they're not happily married. You're actually doing them a favor, and favors are nice.' 'Yo, Sam, my health insurance just went up. Would you mind dropping this on my foot so I can get some sweet workers comp?'

Elsa: There's only so far I can step back before I feel like I'm falling off a cliff...

Lauren: Is everything okay?
Sam: Why does everyone always ask that? Clearly the answer is no, and when is everything ever okay? The answer is never.

--
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The Essence of a Penguin

Atypical 3×6

Sam: No rules?!

Gretchen: Hey, did you know that when Christopher Columbus discovered the penguins, he wanted to call them turd birds? That's a true story.
Zahid: For real? Turd birds?
Sam: No, not for real, none of that is real.

Zahid: Funny thing. Um, we were about to order, and Gretchen convinced me to give up gluten. So no corn dog for me, but it's cool. It's cool, I mean, corn dogs are just salty meat rockets wrapped in a blanket of... fluffy sugar cake. I mean, what's good about that?

Evan: So is this, like, a normal day for you guys? Just sitting around waiting for a call to come in?
Doug: Well, we don't just sit around and do nothing.
Evan: If that's what you're saying.
Doug: Oh, no, that's not what I was say... 'Cause staying vigilant even when you're waiting is the hardest part of the job.
Evan: Right.
Doug: But there can be a lot of sitting around.

---

Zahid: You know, Gretchen likes what she likes and hates what she hates, but sometimes I'm just like, "Hey, girl, you're not always right about everything."

Professor Shinerock: Oh, Sam, no, no, no. No. What has the world done to you? This is what your penguin does. It's not who she is.
Sam: What does that mean? What is essence?
Professor Shinerock: I think sometimes the essence of a thing can be as much about what that thing is not... as it is what it is.

Sam: See? Even Google doesn't know what the essence of a penguin is. Google!

Sam: It's a big deal when a penguin has an irregularity in their routine because penguins are so consistent. I love that about them.

Sam: The essence of anything is the thing that stays true about them in any situation. And the essence of a penguin is similar to the essence of me, Sam Gardner. We're both consistent... But a penguin's essence is so much more than that. Penguins need each other. They look out for the good of the colony. And once a penguin decides to do something... there's no changing her mind. Because the essence of a penguin comes down to this: penguins live in abnormally harsh conditions and they never leave. They're one of the few species that stays, struggles and perseveres. So to me, that's the essence of a penguin. It stays. Which I can appreciate because sometimes college feels like that, too. So I guess in a way you could say I'm like a penguin and Denton is my Antarctica.
Professor Shinerock: Sam, permission to hug you.
Sam: Permission granted.

--
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Only Tweed

Atypical 3×5

Zahid: Everyone, this... is Gretchen. We met at a dumpster. She's my soul mate and my sole mate. Same shoe size. These are hers.

Casey: Oh. The robot is Paige.
Paige: Hi... so... meet... you.
Gretchen: I think your girlfriend is buffering.
Sam: Our Wi-Fi doesn't reach the front door. We don't typically stream guests in this area.

Gretchen: They call it learning, I call it brainwashing.

--
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Y.G.A.G.G.

Atypical 3×4

Paige: ... We all need as many friends as we can get.
Sam: Not me. I already have my real friends, like Zahid.
Paige: Zahid's only one friend.
Sam: So, I'm only one Sam.

Sam: Tortoises are solitary animals. They don't need companionship like other animals. They're happy alone. In fact, in captivity, no more than five tortoises can be kept in the same enclosure. Otherwise, they get aggressive, and it becomes total tortoise mayhem.

Zahid: Look at this face, look at it. Is it not lovable? Do you not wanna spend time with his face?
Sam: Only when it's attached to your body.

Zahid: Anyway, Sammy, here is the secret about parties: each one has the power to change your whole life.

Zahid: Well, think of it like an expedition. Like your boyfriend, Shacklebutt.
Sam: Shackleton.
Zahid: Yeah, that's the stuff.

Zahid: Gretchen, I'd like to go absolutely anywhere with you right now to discuss absolutely anything.

--
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Cocaine Pills and Pony Meat

Atypical 3×3

Sam: As any seasoned explorer will tell you, timing is everything. On Ernest Shackleton's Nimrod Expedition, he was so worried about his team falling behind that he fed them cocaine pills every hour. I don't take cocaine pills, but... I do have an extra bowl of sugar cereal in the morning if I know it's gonna be a big day.

Sam: College makes no sense. My schedule changes every day. There are no bells between classes, and thanks to Archibald Denton's poor planning, the campus is not on a grid. I don't know how people do it.
Zahid: You wanna hear my schedule? 10:50, kiss my ass, 12:10, still in bed, 3:45, getting high, and by 6:00, I'm scoring chicks. Except on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I'm in class all day, because brother takes that shit seriously.

Sam: How do you do that?
Zahid: It's a gift I picked up watching Indian soap operas growing up. I used to think that people always burst into song after doing the deed. It's why I do it.

Sam: Even with all that cocaine, it wasn't enough to get Shackleton's men through an expedition. He also kept them on a strict schedule. When it was time to collect ice specimens, you collected ice specimens. When it was time to kill a seal, you killed a seal. Poor seal. And when it was time to go to sleep... you went to sleep. Or at least you tried.

Elsa: I like your salmon.
Sam: It's a cod fish. You can tell by the two anal fins.
Elsa: Right. I forgot to check the anal fins.

---

Elsa: Whenever you had a big transition, you'd have trouble sleeping. I'm like this, too. It's why I'm up now.
Sam: You don't have any transitions.
Elsa: Well... for me, your transition is a transition.

Sam: Despite Shackleton's best efforts, by the time he and his men made it back to the Nimrod, they were over 30 days behind schedule. Some had snow blindness. Most had dysentery from eating bad pony meat. You can do all the right things and sometimes you still fall prey to the brutal atmospheric conditions.

Lacrosse Sam: I think you'll be fine. Just don't fall asleep. You may have a concussion and then you'll die.
Sam: I may never sleep again.

Doug: Sam, you are... resilient. You're like a... I don't know, what's resilient?
Sam: A cockroach?
Doug: I was trying to think of something less gross, but sure.

Sam: You know, cockroaches are actually very impressive. They can live for a week without their heads...

Sam: The truth is that no expedition goes exactly as scheduled... Sometimes you get lost. Sometimes you eat bad pony meat... Even the coolest explorers in history had problems. Confronted by obstacles they never saw coming. Forced to eat all kinds of weird stuff... And yet they put aside their fear of the unknown. Whether that meant their ultimate failure... or hopefully eventual success.

--
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Standing Sam

Atypical 3×2

Sam: Molting looks painful...

Zahid: I wear suspenders now. You can always trust a guy in suspenders.

Sam: I'm not a penguin. I'm a bee.

Sam: I wonder if molting penguins stand in front of other penguins and get embarrassed about all their feathers falling out.... The thing is, as a penguin, you really have no choice.

Sam: I'm Standing Sam.

Sam: The thing about molting is... you just have to get through it.

Elsa: Dorms? On campus? Not home?

Sam: When a penguin molts, they're no longer waterproof... forcing them away from the place they feel most at home.

Sam: Molting requires that you look a lot worse before you can look better.

Sam: Even though every penguin molts, they rarely molt together. It's universal but lonely.

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Best Laid Plans

Atypical 3×1

Paige: Sam, I want a summer of love. Every day packed with adventure and romance, every moment dreamy and perfect.
Sam: Okay.

Sam: While any expedition can be physically grueling... the most challenging aspects are mental, dealing with the fear, the isolation, the doubt.

Sam: I'm completely prepared for normal registration. Roald Amundsen said, "Victory awaits him who has everything in order."

Sam: Feast your eyes. My official Denton student ID. You can now call me Denton student 9783210.

Officer: Are you okay, miss?
Julia: I think I'm having contractions. Do you have a room where my water can break?

Sam: The thing about any expedition, even a walk around the block, is that you can never be fully prepared.

Paige: Sam... I know you're gonna be the one out of five. 'Cause you're my one in a million.
Sam: That doesn't really make sense.

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