Who Is America? #1.7

Billy Wayne Ruddock: CNN, the Communist News Network, put out a myth which was called Vaginal-gate...

Lt Erran Morad: To infiltrate Antifa, we have to know how to walk and talk, eat and even smell like a liberal.

Lt Erran Morad: How long do you cook quinoa for? ... Nine minutes. What is the recommended rear tire pressure of the Nissan Leaf? ... 35. There is a television show here... Girls. There is a lead actor called Lena Dunham. She is a liberal... They like to use this as a code word. They say, "Ah, what's your favorite episode of Girls?" ... You don't have to learn all of it. Learn one. Season two, episode shalosh.

Lt Erran Morad: So, let's do introduction. You pretend to be liberal. Go.

Lt Erran Morad: Describe the typical clothes of the lesbian. .... 37% of lesbian dress like Charlie Chaplin... Why, we don't know.

Lt Erran Morad: Okay. Convince me you are a lesbian.

Gio Monaldo: And he's obsessed about what happened the night with the wife. And he wants you to tell him.
O.J. Simpson: What wife?
Gio Monaldo: The one you shot.
O.J. Simpson: Well, first of all, she wasn't my wife. We had been divorced and separated for two years.

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On the IMDb

Who Is America? #1.6

Billy Wayne Ruddock: Let's talk about global warming. Do you believe it exists, or to use its proper name, climax change?
Jill Stein: Climate change. Um, so I'm a scientist...

Sergeant Corporal Erran Morad: In the US, there are 3.7 million home invasions every year. So today, I'm gonna teach a housewife and her pussy husband how to fist the burglar. Yalla, let's go!

Sergeant Corporal Erran Morad: You need to think like the terrorist. And they are... are they stupid?
Gretchen Rossi: No.
Slade Smiley: No.
Sergeant Corporal Erran Morad: They are more intelligent than you and certainly you.

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: Eight months ago, I went through the misogynistic and shameful process of impregnating my female partner, Naomi. In order to make amends, for two months I wore an empathy belly...

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: I finally decided to go through the sexist act of childbirth myself.

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: I feel if men could empathize with women and the birthing process, that the world problems would be cured.

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: Well, currently, I have here, a doll. So the plan is to put this in my momb, my male womb...

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: Perhaps we begin the birth, because I am concerned after eating a spicy breakfast that I might be giving birth to twins.
Ataana Badilli: Well, if that happens, it happens. If more comes out, then we'll just have to be prepared for that.

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Ataana Badilli: How do you feel?
Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: I feel like crying.
Ataana Badilli: Why? Because you...
Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: Because the baby's beautiful, but it doesn't have a head.

Rick Sherman: This is a nod to my background in prison, a medley of baked beans on toast, 'cause the baked beans and the toast are classic staples of the prison diet. We have cheddar, gochujang, and marmite...

Rick Sherman: ...it was the most tender veal I'd ever tasted. And essentially, the veal would be massaged every time he walked... So that inspired this dish, which is a veal anally aged for eight days in a prophylactic. And it's a strawberry-flavored condom to give it that kind of summery feel. Please, enjoy.
Bill Jilla: .... Brilliant! Mmm. This is straight from the heart.
Rick Sherman: Well, nearby.
Bill Jilla: Juicy, moist. I'm a big fan of braised meats. But in fact, I will say that this is the best braised veal I've ever had in my entire lifetime.

Rick Sherman: So I give you my pièce de résistance... This is a filet of vegetarian-fed Chinese dissident and a cauliflower purée. Please enjoy.
Bill Jilla: .... Mmm... Butter. It's, like, butter-soft.

Rick Sherman: It would be a great honor for the family to actually have somebody respected in the West, seen as enjoying their son, Chun Fi. Would it be possible to just say how delicious their son is?
Bill Jilla: Sure.
Rick Sherman: To the Lao family.
Bill Jilla: To the Lao family, thank you very much. It's truly an honor and pleasure. This is Chun Fi's loin that I'm enjoying very much. And thanks to Chef, who did a wonderful job preparing it. It's just simply melting on my palate.
Rick Sherman: How does Chun Fi taste?
Bill Jilla: Superb.

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On the IMDb

Who Is America? #1.5

Rick Sherman: It's a tragedy when someone gets stabbed, but the good thing is I was there to record it. And so, in a way, they've given their life to art.

Rick Sherman: Jake said that deejays gets BJs. What's a BJ?

Rick Sherman: I'm a bit nervous 'cause I ain't been around many dolly birds. My mom always said, you know, "You're so ugly that you'd just go out and start robbing." And then, once I got caught, she said, "Luckily, you're so ugly that no one's actually gonna ever touch your posterior." But the joke's on her 'cause I actually got sodomized almost every day.

Corey Lewandowski: You don't have to agree with people. You have to respect them, and you can't be attacking them.
Billy Wayne Ruddock: Exactly, you can't be-- you can't be attacking honest, fascist people who just want to express their right to start a genocide. That is their right.
Corey Lewandowski: Look, I don't know about that, but what I do know is this-- If the law says that people can do a peaceful protest, they should be allowed to do that.

Billy Wayne Ruddock: Listen, I do not hate Jews. I am not an anti-yosemite. In fact, some of my very good friends hate Jews.

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Gio Monaldo: They are the founders of RapGenius.
Mahbod Moghadam: I kid you not, Jesus came down and he told us, "What's up." And he told us that this is gonna be the biggest site.

Gio Monaldo: Do something like a black guy. Really black guy now. The face-- black guy... This face. You gotta mean business.

Brigadier Erran Morad: Have you ever been in a terrorist attack?... I have been in 14, and I have started three.

Brigadier Erran Morad: What do you do to relax?!
Dan Roberts: Read a book!
Brigadier Erran Morad: What kind of book you find most relaxing?!
Dan Roberts: Tom Clancy!
Brigadier Erran Morad: Why is it so interesting?!
Dan Roberts: Getting inside the characters!

Brigadier Erran Morad: This baby didn't have the bomb... Please do not put the wrong baby in the trash can.

Brigadier Erran Morad: In the Mossad-- I mean, not in the Mossad. We prefer to remove the bomb and put that away and save the baby if we can.

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On the IMDb

Who Is America? #1.4

Erran Morad: Sheket bevakasha!

Erran Morad: What do you do when there is a terror attack?... In America, the official response is run, hide, tell. In Israel... it is hide, infiltrate, violence.

Erran Morad: Do you know about magen zahav? Magen zahav is the shield of pork. Have you heard of this? What do the Muslim terrorist fear most?

Erran Morad: This is the method, hide, infiltrate, violence. H-I-V.

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: I adore children. I love children. And I use the Latin word "love," "-phile"; "children," "pedo-." So I am a pedophile, in that I love children, and I've reclaimed that word, because it's been stolen by the abusers. I love children. I am a proud pedophile. I am a pedophile.

David Pyne: Is... Is Naomi, um, a male or a female?
Dr. Nira: She identifies as a female.
David Pyne: Okay. Is she physically female?

OMGWhizzBoyOMG: So, I'm going to unbox this Shopkin. While I'm doing that, why not tell me about what Communists are trying to do to stop people having guns?

OMGWhizzBoyOMG: You know President "Dongle Troomp"?
Joe Arpaio: Of course I know him.
OMGWhizzBoyOMG: And what's he like, Dongle Troomp?
Joe Arpaio: Great man.

David Pyne: You have caused me to have more negative energy than I've ever had, based on that behavior, and it's unacceptable, and it's hurtful, and offensive beyond words.

On the IMDb

Who Is America? #1.3

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: I'm Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello, and I believe in equal rights for all 24 genders...

Colonel Erran Morad: You guy are coming to me soft, but after one hour with me, I will make you very hard.

Colonel Erran Morad: Why do we wear them? Because not enough to look like a woman. You need to feel like a woman.

Colonel Erran Morad: You have heard of Wonderful Woman?... Gal Gadot?... This couscous is based on Gal Gadot.

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On the IMDb

Who Is America? #1.2

Erran Morad: My name Erran Morad. I was in the Mossad for-- I mean, I was not in the Mossad for 13 years. I here to teach you Krav Maga.

Erran Morad: So do you know how to spot the difference between somebody who is a terrorist in a burka and the normal woman in a burka? We have developed a technique...

Erran Morad: We pretend to be a Chinese tourist... because the Chinese are always taking selfie.

Erran Morad: How do you attract attention?... It is the N-word.

Jason Spencer: Nigger! Nigger! Nigger! Nigger!
Erran Morad: Wait! Are you crazy? The N-word is nooni, not this word. This word is disgusting.

Erran Morad: Now I am going to teach you how to use your buttocks to intimidate ISIS.

Billy Wayne Ruddock: He is the least-vain person in the world. I mean, ask anybody at Trump Tower, Trump Casino, any of the Trump resorts, Trump University, Trump steak houses or Trump Air... It's never about him.

Erran Morad: I have killed some terrorists. How does it feel being the king of terrorist killers? I mean, you killed 100,000 actual terrorists and about 700,000 potential terrorists.

Erran Morad: We wanted to see more of you. We wanted to get rid of Bush and see more Dick.

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Erran Morad: Waterboarding is not torture. I once waterboarded my wife... She was cheating on me and I needed to find out with who, so I waterboarded her. It turned out she was not cheating, but now I know to trust her words. And actually, she is a lot more compliant ever since.

Erran Morad: It's okay if I just get a quick Dick pic?

Dick Cheney: Well, that's a first. That's the first time I've ever signed a water bottle used for waterboarding, very valuable.

Corinne Olympios: Everybody knows about the tragedy of a child soldier in Africa, but what we don't know is that the real tragedy is how underfunded and undertrained they are. Many are not very effective killers at all and are, in fact, more child than soldier. We want to change this so that they can be fighting well into puberty.

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: Who wants to see an investment of $385 million?... Guess what? You guys are going to get it. I'm here to tell you that Kingman has been chosen as the location of a brand-new, state-of-the-art... mosque.

Kingman townman: Just the word alone scares you. To me, when I hear the word "mosque," I think of terrorism.

Kingman townwoman: If you bring in Muslims, we might have a problem. We probably will have a problem. We'll all be moving out of this state.

Kingman townman: Mosque-- As soon as you said "mosque," you ruined it.

Kingman townman: He's saying there's black people in Kingman that aren't welcome there either, but we tolerate them!

Kingman townman: You're pulling the trigger harder now. We don't want to hear that shit!

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On the IMDb

Who Is America? #1.1

Billy Wayne Ruddock: All right, so, this is simple math. If you have one percent here, you have 99% [there]. And if you move the nine in there, you have 19. And then you move the other nine there. Well... If you believe in equality, why not have 100% of the people in the one percent?

Billy Wayne Ruddock: Well... This might lead to some increase in the deficit, but, essentially, it is possible.

Billy Wayne Ruddock: ...you keep the one percent, but you move the 99% into the one percent. Look, I... And so you have 199, you just move over the nines. You have... The 99% are in the one percent.

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: And I'm a cisgender, white, heterosexual male, for which I apologize.

Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello: I stopped in South Carolina to dine with a couple who suffer from white privilege...

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Rick Sherman: I didn't do anything bad. Don't worry. You know, I got put inside for a long time 'cause I made one mistake, just 14 times.

Rick Sherman: So, in my art, there's a lot of white and yellow and red and, obviously, a lot of brown.
Christy: You were taking all the bad stuff, all the stuff you didn't need, everything built up inside your body that would otherwise cause you to become septic, you're releasing it, and then you're turning it into something beautiful.

Christy: Well, I think on some level, it's very simple in terms of it being a piece of cardboard, and just some marker, I guess, is what you used.
Rick Sherman: No, no, no. That's my own feces.
Christy: This is your own fec... Okay, I apologize. I didn't realize we were exactly... Okay. So, you've taken... Yeah, you've taken waste and turned it into a portrayal of life. Uh, they... they seem to definitely have different characters, even from this sort of minimalist rendering in terms of their facial expressions.

Rick Sherman: On the plus side, though, it did give me some red paint that I used for another piece.

Rick Sherman: ...maybe I'm mad with this dream of becoming a world-famous artist just by using my shit and cum. Am I?
Christy: I think we're all mad, and I think we're all normal, at the same time. You know, I mean, I hesitate to use the word, because I don't mean to burden you, but just by virtue of the medium, you know, it's indicative of a sort of genius.

Christy: Well, I guess this is the part where the art gets made. Who knew the world was capable of such oxymoronic, paradoxical juxtapositions?

Rick Sherman: That's... That's pretty spot-on. I feel like I'm looking in the mirror, but... Except for the medium. I've even got a glow in my eye.

Rick Sherman: If you could get a couple, you know... However many you're comfortable with. I feel embarrassed to even ask for one.
Christy: I offered. You didn't ask.

Colonel Erran Morad: Let's see if we can stop these anti-gun people
Larry Pratt: Yeah, they've got blood on their hands.

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On the IMDb