Death on the Nile (2022)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Captain Rens: You were right! You are too sharp to be a farmer, Poirot.

Hercule Poirot: Katherine, you should go.
Katherine: Do you have any idea how love works? When you love someone, you love them through all their moods and changes over time. Their worst qualities peak at nuisance. Their flaws become freckles. And as it happens... I love you.
Hercule Poirot: What about this?
Katherine: ...... Come here. Simple. You'll grow a moustache.

Hercule Poirot: I do not want seven. I want only the six. I cannot have, uh, the uneven number... Ah, now we have the even number. This is good.

Bouc: Well, if you want to hide, come and hide with us. In Assouan. We're on a whirlwind tour.
Hercule Poirot: Still the constant traveler.

Bouc: Mm. Sadly, no. Uncle sacked me off the train once he found out that I did nothing. I tried jobs. An office. I could manage the work, I just couldn't fathom mornings.

Hercule Poirot: But who is Euphemia?
Bouc: Well, you'll find out.
Hercule Poirot: A new young lady in the life of Bouc? A new name to me.
Bouc: Well, behind every kite-flying man, there is a woman.

Hercule Poirot: Ah, love. It is not safe.

Jackie de Bellefort: Love that fierce doesn't vanish. I love him. I love him madly, badly, at every minute. It's not something I can switch off. There's a reason the heart is the organ given to love, you know. If it stops to rest, we die.

Linnet Ridgeway: I don't feel safe here. Not me, not Simon, even with Jackie gone.
Hercule Poirot: But you are among friends.
Linnet Ridgeway: When you have money, no one is ever really your friend.

Bouc: You've, uh, taken quite a keen interest in Salome Otterbourne. I thought Poirot was impervious to love's fever.
Hercule Poirot: I was sick with it once. It left me with enough regret for a lifetime.

Bouc: Fascinating story!
Euphemia Bouc: It's bad enough to be married for one lifetime. To be side by side for eternity is inhumane.
Bouc: Why must you be so cynical, Mother? People build towers to love in song and stone as if cooing over a pair of dark eyes will save them from pain.
Euphemia Bouc: If anything, it will double it.

Hercule Poirot: After Katherine, I became whatever it is I am now. I was going to be a farmer...

Andrew Katchadourian: Who told you?
Hercule Poirot: I am Hercule Poirot. I do not need to be told. I have eyes and they see. A brain and it thinks. It now thinks somewhat poorly of you.

Marie Van Schuyler: I don't approve of this interrogation. I mean, who are you to question us?
Hercule Poirot: I am the working man. The skilled laborer, the hero of your own economic fairy tales.

Marie Van Schuyler: You accuse me now of murder?
Bouc: Oh, no, he accuses everyone of murder.
Hercule Poirot: It is a problem, I admit.

Salome Otterbourne: Monsieur Poirot, if I put a bullet in everyone who took a potshot at me for not keeping to my place, the world would be littered with dead white ladies.

Rosalie Otterbourne: I've had a chance to observe you. Wanna know what I make of your character?... He is obsessive, is vain, is smug, is lonely for a reason. A detestable, tiresome, bombastic, egocentric little freak.

Hercule Poirot: I am sorry you have become so wealthy.
Marie Van Schuyler: Ah, nothing I can't fix.

Salome Otterbourne: I wish I'd never got to see you work...

—
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Maigret in Montmartre (2017)

Maigret (2017) 2×2

CI Jules Maigret: It was my mother's. I made it for her, when I was at school.
Madame Maigret: You made it? As in you made it?.. Inspector, we're impressed.
CI Jules Maigret: It's for putting things in, fairly obviously. Special things.

Madame Maigret: Well, that's something we don't do often enough... Surprise each other.

CI Jules Maigret: ... And I let her stumble out of here in the middle of the night, drunk.
Inspector Janvier: Then we'd better find the bugger responsible.
CI Jules Maigret: I'm who's responsible. But I'm going to find the man who killed her.

CI Jules Maigret: Curious. There are objects of value here. Glass. Porcelain. Ivory. But no food. No means of cooking it or eating it. Nothing to sustain life.
Dr. Paul: Welcome to the wonderful world of morphine.

Mme. Aubin: When I was told what had happened I sent for him. He should be here any minute. Bloch his name is. A Jew, of course, but perfectly pleasant...

CI Jules Maigret: Why don't you come with us, back to my office? Have a cup of coffee...
Dr. Bloch: I don't quite understand what's happening. Are you arresting me?
CI Jules Maigret: I'm merely asking you if you want a cup of coffee, Doctor. One thing at a time.

---

CI Jules Maigret: This is your one chance to answer questions in a civilized environment. I would urge you to concentrate...

CI Jules Maigret: What?
Inspector Janvier: You spend the night sitting in a club with a bunch of showgirls. I spend the night in the cold looking for a rent boy.
CI Jules Maigret: That's the chain of command.

Betty: Yeah, you're married. You have that look. What's the word?
CI Jules Maigret: Contented?
Betty: Stricken.

Mme. Dussardier: The first duty of a lady is gaiety. She must be able and willing to sing, dance, play the piano. In her conversation, she must scintillate... That is what I was taught. What I was not taught was how to sew. It was not appropriate. And yet here I am, taking business into my own house. A seamstress.

CI Jules Maigret: Why did you lie to me, Fred?
Fred Alfonsi: OK. Nitty-gritty. What exactly did I lie about?

--
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Maigret: Night at the Crossroads (2017)

Maigret (2017) 2×1

Madame Michonnet: Good morning!... You know, one morning, you'll surprise me and say good morning back and I'll probably have a heart attack. Then you'll have to speak to another human being on the telephone about where they should send the ambulance, and that'll upset you.

CI Jules Maigret: And when was he shot?
Inspector LaPointe: From the temperature of his body, less than 12 hours ago. So after midnight. Like all the good murders.

Else Anderson: A gentleman would light my cigarette... Will you be a gentleman?

Madame Maigret: Sometimes, I think you don't know what it's like being married to a policeman. We have to come to terms with sharing you with all the bad things happening in Paris..

CI Jules Maigret: What's the main reason that people get angry?...
Madame Maigret: Because they get frightened.

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On the IMDb

Σ nostradamvs: «Третий и такой же отличный фильм из серии Мегрэ в исполнении Аткинсона. Тут уже нет шока «Аткинсон играет серьёзную роль, и играет хорошо», тут просто аккуратный истинно английский (пусть дело и происходит во Франции) детектив с изящными диалогами и спокойными лицами, ретро-стиль и отличная игра.»

Maigret's Dead Man

Maigret (2016) 1×2

Interpreter: Chief Inspector, whatever crime this woman is suspected of, she is a Czechoslovakian citizen and has not only legal rights but an expectation of human dignity. I ask you to suspend questioning until a time when...
CI Jules Maigret: .... Do you want to continue with your speech about human dignity?

CI Jules Maigret: She has an hour to think about answers to those questions, and to think about how, in this country, we still send murderers to the guillotine... She needs to start co-operating. She has a child now.

Interpreter: Chief Inspector, I would like to point out that that woman is not Czech, she is Slovak. Those people from the rural east, they are uneducated. Some are no better than peasants from the Middle Ages. No better than animals... I feel I need to point that out to you.

Inspector LaPointe: Why?
CI Jules Maigret: Because the room is cold, and because there's a woman with a child in there.

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+ Quotes on the IMDb

Murder on the Orient Express

Hercule Poirot: Two perfect eggs this time, no?... I blame the chicken. Why do hens lay eggs of different sizes? It's not you, mon ami.

British Military Escort: How did you know it was him, sir? From just a tiny crack on the wall...
Hercule Poirot: I have the advantage... I can only see the world as it should be. And when it is not, the imperfection stands out... like the nose in the middle of a face. It makes most of life unbearable. But it is useful in the detection of crime.

Mary Debenham: You're the detective, Hercules Poirot?
Hercule Poirot: Hercule Poirot. I do not slay the lions.

Caroline Hubbard: One thing about train travel, you're always knocking into somebody.

Caroline Hubbard: Travel is fine for spicy food, mosques, meeting men. But eventually, you just miss your own bed.

Edward Ratchett: Dogs on the table. Most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life.

Edward Ratchett: Are you insulted?
Caroline Hubbard: Hmm. Disappointed. Some men have a good look. All they have to do is... keep their mouth shut, and they can take home any prize they want. Still, the mouth opens.

Bouc: ...And yet, the best things on the train are not food. You know there's something about... a tangle of strangers pressed together for days on end, with nothing in common... but the need to go from one place to another... then never to see each other again. Boredom plus anonymity plus a... constant, gentle rocking.

Bouc: Are you still enjoying your Dickens?
Hercule Poirot: Very much, mon ami.
Bouc: You know, with your books and your capers, you are missing out on romance.
Hercule Poirot: Romance never goes unpunished.

Bouc: You are the only one who can bring justice!

---

Hercule Poirot: I have elected to take the case... and find for my friend, Monsieur Bouc, the criminal.
Gerhard Hardman: And why you?
Hercule Poirot: My name is Hercule Poirot... and I am probably the greatest detective in the world.

Hercule Poirot: You do not trust your god anymore... since your surprise?
Pilar Estravados: No, in case He is busy.
Hercule Poirot: God is always busy.

Hercule Poirot: If it were easy, I would not be famous.

Mary Debenham: To a man with a hammer, every problem is a nail. You live crime. You see evil every day.
Hercule Poirot: Not so. I see enough crime to know that the criminal act is the anomaly. I believe it takes a fracture of the soul... to murder another human being.

Hercule Poirot: You tell your lies... and you think no one will know. But there are two people who will know. Yes, two people. Your God... and Hercule Poirot. It is time to solve this case.

Caroline Hubbard: You're an awfully clever man.

Hercule Poirot: Yes. I am the detective. Could you please straighten your tie?

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Death on the Nile (2022)

Maigret Sets a Trap

Maigret (2016) 1×1

& CI Maigret: Police work can take time, sir...

& CI Maigret: His methods are meticulous and I have every confidence—
    Minister Morel: What ARE your methods, Chief Inspector?!
    CI Maigret: I need to understand what attracts this man to these women at this time.

---

& Moers: Everything’s possible, Maigret. You can build a picture of the universe by looking at the smallest thing. You know that.
    CI Maigret: Hmm.

& CI Maigret: I must ask you to get dressed and come with me to the Quai des Orfevres.
    Moncin: May I inquire as to why?
    CI Maigret: Only now you ask us why we are here...

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On the IMDb

Σ nostradamvs: Первая в истории серьёзная роль Роуэна Аткинсона, и он прекрасен в этой роли. ...