Moone Boy 1x6

The Bell-End of an Era

& Sean: You’re out on your own...
    Martin: Like a jackal... Or a lost sock.
    Sean: Let’s stick with jackal.

& Debra: Do you know what I’d love to do?.. I’d love to go back to that beach hut in Strandhill. Do you remember?
    Liam: Yeah...
    Debra: Come on, you drove us down there in that old Triumph you had, the one with the fold-away seats. We snuck in there with a bottle of brandy... I’m sorry, I just remembered that wasn’t you.
    Liam: Unbelievable!
    Debra: Shh! Just leave me in it now, for a minute...

& Sinead: Remember? The Girl Guide Jamboree?
    Debra: Wow. This is really expensive for somewhere that doesn’t have toilets.
    Sinead: Oh, but you poo in the wild, like the original Girl Guides. And slaughter your own lunch. And learn to make quilts. It’s going to be amazing!

& Sinead: Trisha can come too...
    Trisha: I’d literally rather be dead.

& Martin: Do you think it’s possible to swallow dynamite without exploding?
    Sean: I don’t see why not.

& Sean: What you need is a revenge list.
    Martin: Revenge list. Yes! I’ll put it on my list list.

& Debra: Well, what are we going to do? Can we afford to send Sinead to this Girl Guide Jamboree thing?
    Liam: I’m surprised we can afford this brochure.

& Liam: What’s going on there?
    Debra: There’s trouble in paradise.
    Liam: First time a Toyota Carina has been referred to as paradise.

---

& Debra: Shh! Some shit is going down.
    Liam: How can you tell from here?
    Debra: I’m a woman, Liam, I can decipher snippets.

& Liam: Oh. The War of the Roses, huh? Funny how that all started... All because of a wrong delivery on Valentine’s Day.
    Sinead: What?! That’s...
    Liam: That’s fact. Bit like the Cold War... which was basically just a dispute over frozen peas.

& Dessie: I played The Flower Duet alone. Just me and my Casio.
    Fidelma: At least you weren’t totally alone.
    Dessie: A keyboard’s not a lover, Delma. It’s just a good friend.

& Dessie: What’s happened to us, Del? A few weeks ago we were like a pair of wild animals. Like stallions. Now, we’re like a pair of sad animals... Like sad stallions.

& Martin: Bye-bye, blackboard. Bye-bye, chairs. Bye-bye, broken projector.

& Padraic: We’ve done it, Martin! We’ve taken over the asylum!

& Fidelma: Dad! We’re not breaking up. We’re pregnant.
    Liam: You’re what?!
    Dessie: We’re going to have a little baby.
    Trisha: And I think I failed my exams.

& Girl Jamboree's Guide: Of course we have toilets! Why wouldn’t we have toilets? That is not what the quilt was for, Sinead.
    Sinead: It wasn’t me.
    Guide: Really? Who was it, then?
    Sinead: It was Martina.

--
On the IMDb

Σ Finito. It was sweet, and nice, and warm.

Moone Boy 1x5

Godfellas

& Sean: It was the morning of Martin’s Confirmation, another milestone in his idiotic little life...

& Sinead: That can’t be what Jesus died for.
    Trisha: If anyone should be crucified it should be that keyboard fella.

& Fidelma: It’s for school. Plus I think it’ll look good on my college CV.
    Debra: One step closer to Taoiseach... Ah, she’ll be running the country soon enough... Oh, and eh, I’m sure you two will be right there with her.
    Sinead: Why would we be there?
    Debra: I dunno. Assassinating her?

& Fr. Linehan: What are you looking at?
    Martin: Just... my imaginary friend.
    Fr. Linehan: The church is no place for imaginary friends.

---

& Dessie Dolan: Can I count on you?
    Martin: I was born to count on me!

& Fidelma: Mam, you know when a guy flirts with you?
Debra: I’ve a vague memory of it.
Fidelma: And then sort of ignores you.
Debra: Oh that part I’m more familiar with.

& Debra: ABC Delma. Always be classy.
    Linda: And a teeny bit slutty.
    Debra: Oh yeah, and a teeny bit slutty.

& Liam: So we raised an Altar boy and a choir singer...
    Debra: Where did we go wrong?
    Liam: Suppose that’s the risk you take when you have children in wedlock.

& Martin: You’re playing with fire. All is not what it seems.
    Fidelma: Are you going to tell me something?
    Martin: It’s Dessie. He’s corrupt. He’s got his hand in everyone’s pocket... and his fingers in everyone’s pies.
    Fidelma: So the pies are in the pockets?
    Martin: This conversation never happened.

--
On the IMDb

Moone Boy 1x4

Dark Side of the Moone

& Sean: 12 is an exciting age for a gentleman... An exciting, terrifying age when new odd thoughts arrive. Sometimes these thoughts are brought on by tennis ladies... Sweaty, grunty, Argentinian tennis ladies.
    Debra: Woman is like a walking advert for cough drops...
    Trisha: ...and deodorant.
    Sean: Sometimes these thoughts are bought on by bathing ladies... Blond fairy tale bathing ladies. This is the moment when Martin realised that some cleaning is actually dirty.

& Padraic: So you’ve started to pitch the old tent? You’re flying the flesh flag. Building the dirty snowman. Been there kid, been there...
    Martin: Soooo.... What does it mean?
    Padraic: I don’t know.

& Martin: I need new balls.

& Padraic: So the dam’s burst, huh? The trawlers went out to sea. The choo-choos left willy station? Been there, kid... been there...
    Martin: You dunno what it means, do you?
    Padraic: Not a clue.

---

& Padraic: So what did ya do with the sheets?.. You brought them to school?!
    Martin: What else could I do? I didn’t have time to bury them!

& Padraic: I think you’re wrong. Tigers are definitely female lions.

& Liam: It has come to our attention that you’ve been the victim of a... bit of a night-time incident.
    Martin: Can a man not wet his own bed in this house anymore?!

& Liam: Women. Men. What’s it all about? Ha! Who knows?.. You don’t know that’s why we’re doing this.

& Liam: So. Girls are essentially creatures of the night. They’re fascinating. And... alluring. Take your mother here...
    Debra: Please don’t!
    Liam: Birds, bees and other... winged...
    Debra: I’m sleepy too.
    Liam: Penises...
    Martin: !!!!
    Liam: Vaginas...

& Debra: That was... something. Not quite as intense as me explaining periods to Sinead, but close...
    Sinead: What do you mean the moon is gonna make me bleed? I’ll make the moon bleed!

--
On the IMDb

Moone Boy 1x3

Another Prick in the Wall

& Martin: Why is everyone acting so weird?
    Padraic: Well, we’re at the point when adolescence and manhood are fighting for supremacy in our ever-changing boy vessels...
    Martin: I mean today. Why is everyone acting so weird to me today?
    Padraic: Probably because you’re wearing make-up...

Sultans of Ping — Where’s Me Jumper?

♪ Dancing in the disco ♪
♪ Bumper to bumper ♪
♪ Wait a minute ♪
♪ Where’s me jumper? ♪
♪ Where’s me jumper? ♪
♪ Where’s me jumper? ♪
♪ Where’s me jumper? ♪
♪ Where’s me jumper? Oh no. ♪

& Declan: Look I know everybody’s giving you a hard time but I’d just like you to know I wish you all the best of luck with being gay.
    Martin: No, no, this is all just a big misunder...
    Declan: Shhhh. Shut up Pet Shop Boys.

---

& Martin: You think I can make this jump?
    Sean: I wouldn’t have thought so.
    Martin: I think I can make it. I’m a very strong jumper.
    Sean: Oh you’re an accomplished athlete. Can’t argue with that. I just don’t think you’ve got the balls for a jump like that.
    Martin: What’s wrong with my balls? My balls are perfectly normal.
    Sean: Yeah, let’s not go down that road. It’s more like an attitude thing that I’m talking about, buddy.

& Martin: Feck off, wall!

& Sean: It’s not the size of a man’s balls that’s important, buddy. It’s the direction they’re swinging in.

David Hasselhoff — The price of freedom

♪ I’ve been looking for freedom ♪
♪ I’ve been looking so long ♪
♪ I’ve been looking for freedom... ♪

--
On the IMDb

Σ Warm & nice. Moving on.

Moone Boy 1x2

Bunch of Marys

& Gwen: Does anyone in Boyle have money?

& Debra Moone: I was thinking, to help ease your conscience, maybe I’d let you do a few Mary posters for free. Just so you can sleep better at night.

& Liam: I like Mary, I do. But I have to get paid though.
    Debra: How do you feel about half price?
    Liam: Well, not great, but half of nothing is nothing. So sure, half price it is, now shift over.

---

& Debra: Look at this place...
    Linda: He calls it “The Pollack Palace”. Although the guards call it “Elm Street”. Cos so many women come running out screaming.

& Trevor: It’s so boring. All she talks about is bloody delicious food. If I eat one more eclair this week I think I might scream.
    Martin: Mmm... cream.

& Trevor: Are you OK?
    Martin: Yeah, never been butter.
    Trevor: Want to come in and play?
    Martin: Yeah! I’m starving!

& Debra: Why do you even have these?
    Linda: Don’t ask any questions, Deb. I just can’t believe they still fit us.

& Martin: I feel like a Ghostbuster!

--
On the Imdb.
IMDb


Σ What the heck? Didn't sign to such a giglet.

Moone Boy 1x1

Men of the Houses

& Sean Murphy: Ever wanted to be the imaginary friend of an idiot boy in the West of Ireland?.. Me neither. But there you go. Allow me to introduce Martin Paul Kenny Dalglish Moone.

& Sean: Remember, tomorrow’s your big day. Things get way easier when you turn 12.
    Martin Moone: Yeah, the big one-two.
    Sean: That’s right. I bet they’re right in there. Planning out your party as we speak...
    Martin: I’m home! Better hide my presents!
    Sinead Moone: Mam says you were a mistake.
    Sean: Not a mistake... not a mistake! An accident!

& Martin: This better be vouchers, Fidelma.
    Fidelma Moone: It is. Sort of.
    Martin: “I owe you one present. Love, Fidelma.”

& Sean: No! Surely they haven’t got you something decent? It must be a bicycle-shaped sock. Or a bicycle-shaped toilet brush. Or a bicycle-shaped kick in the arse.
    Martin: Wow, a bicycle-shaped bicycle!

& Gerry Bonner: God, I hate my kids...
    Liam Moone: I’m not too crazy about my own.
    Gerry: They’re awful aren’t they? Children. I mean here we are. Two decent fellas full of compassion and willingness to love and what do we get in return?
    Liam: Hassle*!
    Gerry: Hassle!

---

& Gerry: Is that a hammer in your pocket?.. Let me guess. You were planning to beat me to death with it, weren’t you?
    Liam: I was indeed.
    Gerry: Bloody kids! Did I say tea? I meant gin.

& Declan Mannion: Protection’s a service I provide. It’s gonna cost you though.
    Martin: Cost me what, roughly?
    Declan: A feel of your sister’s boobs.
    Martin: I’m sorry, what was that?
    Declan: A feel of your sister’s boobs.
    Sean: Should have gone with rabid dog.
    Declan: Take it or leave it, Marty.

& Martin: Hey Trish! Made you a cuppa. Tea. ... Wow, that’s a cool... whatever it is. Anyhoo, I was wondering if you might do me a wee favour...
    Trisha Moone: Probably not. What do you want?
    Martin: Well. Silly thing. You know the way you have boobs...?

& Liam: Well, lads, I’ve got to say that this little gathering has been very... cathartic. But I have to admit something here. I don’t know how to say this, but...
    Frank: Go on, Liam. Be Dad, not sad.
    Liam: I don’t actually know how to play poker.
    Gerry: Worry not, Liam. None of us do.

& Martin: Stop! I’m too busy to fight you right now but I’ll fight you tonight outside the cinema.
    Jonner Bonner: It’s a date, Moone.
    Conner Bonner: But not in a gay way.

--
Hassle — стычка, перебранка, драка, ссора, склока

IMDb