Demon 79

Black Mirror 6×5

Vicky: Everyone needs shoes, Nida. How about doing your job?

Mr. Duncan: So, Nida, it's nothing major, but I understand you're in the habit of eating your lunch in the stockroom.
Nida: Oh...
Mr. Duncan: It's fine. Everybody does it. We don't mind. But it's... it's what you're eating. You see, most people's food, um, normal food, it doesn't tend to linger afterwards. It's not really fair on your coworkers, and there is a chance it could... well, it could get into the shoe leather. So, if you must eat in there, maybe just bring in a sandwich. Like a cheese and ham sandwich. Or just a cheese sandwich, if you're one of those that doesn't do ham. Of course, I'm sorry to have to ask...

Gaap: So, as I was saying, you anointed the talisman, and the rules are you've gotta carry out three human sacrifices over the next three days or else the world's gonna end.
Nida: What?

Gaap: Like I said, we have got to work together. It's blood and bone. You marked the talisman. I don't make the rules. I mean, basically, we need to deliver three sacrifices by Maymass... Uh, that's May Day to you. Or else it's... Well, it's burning skies time.

Gaap: All we have to do is deliver three sacrifices in three days. It's only three killings. Like I said, animals don't count. You have to do humans. And there's gotta be a cadence to it. One a day.

Nida: I'm not a bad person.
Gaap: Oh no. No. It wouldn't work if you were. It has to be someone corruptible. So, I mean, if you think about it, what's happening here, it actually reflects really well on your character.

Gaap: I know. I get it. You don't want the blood of three victims on your hands, but if it saves billions...

Gaap: Yes! That's you. You're a basher.

Gaap: Uh, it is 11:54, six minutes left, since you asked, so...

Gaap: If I fail my initiation...
Nida: Kicked out of demon school? Boo-hoo.
Gaap: More like cast out.
Nida: Whatever.
Gaap: Cast out into a boundless, cosmic void. And doomed to spend eternity in a vacuum of infinite nothingness. Absence of matter, of time, of space, light, and sound. I would endure a profound, palpable, and ever-present lack of existence, alone in perpetuity, forever more.
Nida: Sounds like my life.

Nida: He's fucking Satan.
Gaap: No, he's not one of ours, not literally. I mean, they do like him. They're fans of his work, you might say.

--
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Mazey Day

Black Mirror 6×4

Nathan: So, you know I don't like to judge other people's lifestyle choices. But I have really delicate sinuses. And when you fry garlic and ginger, it just makes the whole apartment a little acrid?
Bo: Yeah, sure, I'll, um... Yeah, I'll open the window, Nathan.

Bo: Hey, I'll take a skinny vanilla latte.

Clay: That's what you ought to call that, "pecan perfection." I mean, the chicken was perfection. The chicken was perfect. It is so easy to screw up chicken. Not many people know this. They think, "Oh, well, you just drop it in the deep fryer." No. It's not about frying chicken. You're gonna sauté it, bake it... But it's gotta be done, you know... Because you undercook it, and, you know, people die.

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Loch Henry

Black Mirror 6×2

Davis: Hello, Stuart.
Stuart: How are you doing, you fucking wank? Hey! What the fuck is with that hair, eh? You gonna tell me your pronouns?

Davis: Iain Adair shot his mum and dad, then himself.
Stuart: Total wipeout. Farmicide.

Davis: People know the story.
Pia: I didn't.
Davis: I mean, it's not a whodunit. There's no mystery.
Pia: Are you nuts? The mystery is, "How could someone do that shit?" It's "What the fuck?" It's "Give me the details." And the details are so awful, it is irresistible.

Pia: It'll be a... a solid piece. Well-made, high-end. And it's exploring the biggest topic, life and death.

Stuart: It's a brilliant idea! Visual showcase. Bring the tourists back. What was the name of that Netflix thing? About the guy that killed women?
Pia: Maybe narrow that down.
Stuart: One of them, he ate her own eye in front of her.

Janet: Shepherd's pie. It's ready.

Janet: Are you sure you're okay, dear?

--
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Joan Is Awful

Black Mirror 6×1

Joan: I... I feel like I'm not the main character in my own life story.
Dr Atkinson: And would you like that to change?

Joan: Mmm... Amazing... Is that salt?

Krish: Uh... Oh my God. Uh... What?
Joan: "New drama. Joan Is Awful." Is that Salma Hayek?

Joan: That's not my hair.
Krish: Well, it's a lot like your hair. And she's even called Joan.

Joan: I think we should turn this off.
Krish: What? Well, actually, I wanna keep watching.
Joan: No. No...

Salma Hayek: Is that Cate Blanchett?

Joan: Did you see it?
Eric: Everybody saw it. It's all anyone can talk about.
Joan: How'd it come across?... Fair.

Joan's Lawyer: ...you assigned them the right to exploit all of that.
Joan: What? When?
Joan's Lawyer: Terms and conditions.
Joan: I have never seen this before.
Joan's Lawyer: You have. You just haven't seen it printed out before. All of that would have popped up on your phone or whatever when you first signed up to Streamberry. And you clicked "accept."
Joan: What? I mean, I had... I had no... How was I supposed to know this?
Joan's Lawyer: I know. But you did accept it, and so they're in the clear.

Joan: No, no. No, no, no. They can't... they can't do this to me.
Joan's Lawyer: There are only so many ways for me to tell you they absolutely can.

Joan: But how do they... how do they even know what I'm doing? It's the same... it's the same day. Joan's Lawyer: Well, you know when you got your phone face down on the table, and you're in your kitchen, and you're talking to your friend about, I don't know, shoe deodorizers, and then, you know, you go on your computer and what pops up? A shoe deodorizing ad. Then you get an email, and it's all about shoe deodorizing. Then you're walking down the street, shoe deodorizing. You can't escape it. And it's...
Joan: Yeah, so?
Joan's Lawyer: Uh, that's how they know.

Joan: Fuck!
Joan's Lawyer: I agree. Uh, I hate to say it, but this thing is... is watertight.
Joan: Oh my God.
Joan's Lawyer: They got you every which way and then some. My advice is to try and ignore it.
Joan: What the fuck kind of advice is that?
Joan's Lawyer: It's the only kind I got.

Mac: It's, um... It's... This is so public.
Joan: What do you mean?
Mac: This is gonna be on the show.
Joan: Okay, but it's not us. It's... it's computer people. It's Salma Hayek and...
Mac: Well, yeah, I know. So, I mean, like, I'm gonna be the guy who can't get it up for Salma Hayek?

Mac: You know, it's one thing to not be able to get it up for, like, you, but Salma Hayek? I mean, look, people are gonna laugh at me.
Joan: The show is called fucking Joan Is Awful! How do you think I feel?

Joan: Have you not seen Joan Is Awful?
Male Cop: No, but it's on my list.
Joan: Just wait till episode four. I hear it's gonna be a blast.

Salma Hayek: I am Roman Catholic. My grandmother Rosa was going to be a nun. She might die when she sees this. What right do they have to kill my abuela with this deepfake heretic abomination?
Salma's Lawyer: Uh, page 39, paragraph eight.
Salma Hayek: Paragraph eight can suck my dick! I don't even know what it says anyway.
Salma's Lawyer: Uh, your image rights agreement with Streamberry. It's page 39, paragraph eight.

Salma Hayek: You know I don't read this crap. I am a dyslexic, talented actress with questionable English. That's why I overpay you to protect me. Joan: Please don't kill me, Salma Hayek.
Salma Hayek: You're lucky I'm a humanitarian. Let's have a talk.

Fatima Klaas: Why that particular woman? What's so special about her?
Mona Javadi: Absolutely nothing. We were looking for a totally average, nobody person, just... just to test the system. The point is, Joan Is Awful is just the beginning. The aim here is to launch unique, tailored content to each individual in our database, all 800 million of them, created on the fly by our system. The most relatable content imaginable. Actually, there's one for you... I couldn't resist.

Fatima Klaas: Uh, why "awful"? Why is it all so negative?
Mona Javadi: Yeah. No, that's a great question, Fatima. Um, we did try more affirmative content in the test cell, but we found that, um, our subjects just didn't buy it. It didn't chime with their neurotic view of themselves. What we found instead was when we focused on their more weak or selfish or craven moments, it confirmed their innermost fears and put them in a state of mesmerized horror. Which really drives engagement. They literally can't look away.

Salma Hayek: Let's kill this quam-puta.

--
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Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too

Black Mirror 5×3

Catherine: The other day I walk in and she's writing some obtuse bullshit twenty people are gonna relate to and no one is gonna buy. She's Ashley O, not Leonard fucking Cohen!

Ashley Too: You are getting so good!
Rachel: Oh, come on, I dance like a doofus.
Ashley Too: That's not true, you're a special person!
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, so special no one knows I exist.
Ashley Too: Well, I think if they saw you dance, they'd know.
Rachel: There's this, um, talent contest at my school next week, singing and dancing...
Ashley Too: No way, you have to enter, you'd be awesome!
Rachel: Ahh, I don't know, I don't think I'm good enough.
Ashley Too: If you believe in yourself, you can do anything!
Rachel: Okay, okay, I'll do it. Um, you gotta help me practice.
Ashley Too: Of course I will!

Rachel: I can do anything if I just believe in myself. I can do anything if I just believe in myself...

Catherine: Let's hear it... Another fucking rage dream. ... Slow it down, see if it's salvageable. ... Pitch shift?... Increase the positivity... Okay, we can work with that. Oh, quit whining!

--
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Smithereens

Black Mirror 5×2

Hayley Blackwood: It's never gonna stop, this... needing to know. It's never gonna stop.

Hayley Blackwood: I'm her mum. You'd think they'd give me the password to my own daughter's account, but, no. Violates their privacy policy.

Christopher Gillhaney: Modern fucking companies! Everyone looks so fucking young! How is anybody looking in supposed to have a sense of the fucking hierarchy?! Jesus Christ! Half of you cunts coming out of the building are dressed like fucking gap-year students!

Christopher Gillhaney: People don't even look up anymore. The sky could turn fucking purple and you cunts wouldn't notice for a month.

CS Linda Grace: Teacher with a real gun?
David Gilkes: Not impossible, but not likely.

Penelopa Wu: We're looking into who Christopher is. Group-wise we'd slot him into high intellect, low income—
David Gilkes: Often angry people.

---

Billy Bauer: Tipi, really the only good thing about my position is every once in a while I get to invoke... God-mode.

Christopher Gillhaney: I just told you. I want you to listen to me. Just fucking listen to me.

Christopher Gillhaney: You run Smithereen.
Billy Bauer: Uh-huh. Since 2008.
Christopher Gillhaney: I used to use Smithereen all the time. I mean, constantly. Like, my phone was glued to my hand. I was the whole cliché, you know, first thing I saw in the morning, last thing I saw at night.

Christopher Gillhaney: I got bored. I got bored every ten seconds back then...

Christopher Gillhaney: It was your thing, you built it. I heard that that you make these things that way. Addictive. So that you can't take your eyes off them. Well, job done. Bit of user feedback for you there. Maybe factor that into your next update.

Billy Bauer: I started it. There's nothing I can do to fucking stop it. I'm like some kind of... fucking bullshit front-man now.

Christopher Gillhaney: I just wanted to say my piece.I'm gonna go now... And now I'm out of here.

--
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Striking Vipers

Black Mirror 5×1

Karl: I tried it out in the store. They demoed it for me. Five minutes blew my mind to confetti.

Dishwasher: Flatware hazard warning.
Danny: You gotta put the knives in sharp edge down.
Theo: I know.

Danny: Whoa. Hold on a minute. Is this going to hurt?
Karl: "The game emulates all physical sensations."
Danny: Is that a yes or a no? It does!

Roxette: Peace out.

Roxette: Thunder punch. Windmill wipe-out.

Roxette: Hyperstrike! That's double. Tornado fury. The leg, the leg, the leg, the leg.

---

Karl: So, guess that's us gay now... That's a joke!

Dishwasher: Please rinse dishes before program start.

Roxette: It's more sort of... satisfying. I can't really explain it. Like, one's a guitar solo, the other's a whole fucking orchestra. But the tune's basically the same. Different tempos, though.
Lance: Yeah, I think you've run that analogy to the ground.

Theo: Are you seeing someone?

Karl: I'll tell you what's strange... Nothing matches it, does it? I tried replacing it, man. I tried. I tried fucking the computer-controlled characters. It's bullshit.... I tried it with real players.... I tried everything.

Danny: We're not gonna fight. We're gonna kiss... It's the only way. We gotta know.

Danny: Just fucking kiss me, man.

--
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Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)

Stefan: No, it's a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. You decide what your character does.

Mr. Thakur: So, come on. What's your answer?...

Colin: Sorry, mate. Wrong path.

Stefan: I should try again...

Colin: It was ahead of its time. In as much as time exists...

Colin: It's like I say, teams are fine for things like action titles, but when it's a concept piece... bit of madness is what you need and that works best when it's one mind.

Dr. Haynes: It can be helpful to revisit things. Even if you feel you've done this before. You might discover something new...

Dr. Haynes: The past is immutable, Stefan. No matter how painful it is, we can't change things, we can't choose differently, with hindsight. We all have to learn to accept that.

Narrator: ...After his arrest, he told police we exist within multiple parallel realities at once. One reality for each possible course of action we might take in life. Whatever we choose to do in this existence, there’s another one out there in which we’re doing quite the opposite, which renders free will meaningless. Nothing but an illusion. If you follow that line of thinking to its logical conclusion... they're not even your actions. Your fate has been dictated, it's out of your hands. You're not in control.

---

Stefan: Who's doing this to me? I know there's someone there. Who's there? Who are you? ... If there's someone there, just give me a sign. Will you give me a sign? I know there's someone there. Just give me a fucking sign!

Stefan: Who... What the fuck is Netflix?!... Seriously, what does that mean?

Dr. Haynes: So, you're being controlled by someone on Netflix... What is Netflix? Is it a planet?
Stefan: I don't know, it... It's some sort of future entertainment thing.

Colin: There's messages in every game. Like Pac-Man. Do you know what PAC stands for? P and C. "Program and Control." He's Program and Control Man, the whole thing's a metaphor. He thinks he's got free will but really he's trapped in a maze, in a system, all he can do is consume, he's pursued by demons that are probably just in his own head, and even if he does manage to escape by slipping out one side of the maze, what happens? He comes right back in the other side. People think it's a happy game. It's not a happy game, it's a fucking nightmare world and the worst thing is it's real and we live in it.

Stefan: You'd die. You'd die.
Colin: It wouldn't matter because there are other timelines, Stefan. How many times have you watched Pac-Man die? Doesn't bother him. He just tries again. One of us is jumping, so who's it going to be?

Stefan: I'd been trying to give the player too much choice. So I just went back and stripped loads out. And now they've got the illusion of free will, but really... I decide the ending.

--
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Σ nostradamvs: “Канал заигрался с идеей интерактивного фильма, и вышло очень так себе. Ну да, это забавно – принимать решение за героя, делать выбор между белым и чёрным, возвращаться к точке сохранения и смотреть другую ветку фильма. Но на этом забавном интерактивном фоне создатели забыли, что в фильме должен быть интересный сюжет. Что полтора часа (или сколько там в зависимости от ветки сюжета) пялиться на пацан, который пишет компьютерную игрушку в 1984 году, попросту скучно. Все выборы в фильме похожи на самый первый выбор фильма – между двумя брендами мюсли, которые герою предлагает отец. Едва досмотрел.”

Black Museum

Black Mirror 4×6

Rolo Haynes: Nice accent. You from Australia?
Nish: No, I'm from Britain.
Rolo Haynes: So you got one of those crazy British names? Esmeralda or, uh... ?
Nish: I'm Nish.
Rolo Haynes: Nish?

Rolo Haynes: ...And even nutsier shit, Hector felt the burn, but took no damage at all. All of the experience, none of the physical cost.
Dawson: But how did he die?
Rolo Haynes: They cut him open after to see if he was OK.
Dawson: Oh.

Rolo Haynes: Half of the assholes that roll in here can't even describe their symptoms. They're... They're out cold or concussed or drunk or dumb or... two years old, or they can't speak English. Imagine if you could feel exactly what a patient feels, minus the physical consequences. Like reading their minds...

Rolo Haynes: Houston... we got a miracle.

Rolo Haynes: See, it's like eating chilies. You acclimatize fast. First time you had a jalapeno, bet you spat it out, too hot. But persevere and it becomes addictive. Soon, a jalapeno's not enough. You work your way up, red-hot chilies, bird's-eye chilies, till you get to them Scotch bonnet devils.

Rolo Haynes: Eventually, he dick-pukes a little baby paste up her wazoo, which takes hold. Before you know it, out pops a boy... Boom. They're a family unit. A walking commercial for a sunnier future. Happy as hell.

Jack: What? Um... Like a voice inside my head?
Rolo Haynes: Like the whole of her inside your head. Like a hitchhiker. Like a passenger.

Rolo Haynes: Truly heartwarming...
Nish: Yeah. But this is where you say "but."

---

Rolo Haynes: Well, not to wax philosophical, but... how long can happiness realistically last anyhow?

Rolo Haynes: Having a back-seat driver glued into the back seat ain't no fun for anyone in the car. No privacy for him. No agency for her.
Nish: It'd drive you mental.
Rolo Haynes: Exactly.

Carrie: How long was I on pause?

Rolo Haynes: My friends... you're in luck.

Rolo Haynes: Well, she's done her thinking. How about you?

Emily: Are you gonna be a good toy?... Are you gonna be a good toy?!
Carrie: Monkey loves you.
Emily: You better!

Rolo Haynes: See, a couple of years back, the UN made it illegal to transfer human consciousnesses into limited formats like this. Gotta be able to express at least five emotions for it to be humane, apparently. Human rights for cookies. Right, Carrie?

Rolo Haynes:

Nish: Never accept drinks from strangers. My daddy taught me that.

Nish: Always on. Always suffering.

--
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Metalhead

Black Mirror 4×5

Bella: What's so bad about being a pig?
Clark: It's undignified.
Tony: Undignified?
Clark: Walking about with your nose the same height as your asshole.
Bella: Snout.
Clark: What's that?
Bella: Pigs have snouts, not noses. So it would be your snout the same height as your asshole.
Clark: Nose, snout. You're still trotting about gazing up everybody else's assholes all day long. What kind of society is that?
Bella: An equal one?

--
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Hang the DJ

Black Mirror 4×4

Amy: Well, evidently I'm a pasta girl.
Frank: Yeah, I'm a, uh... fishcake.

Coach: Participants are not required to take any specific action.
Frank: Yeah, but I mean we can, right? I mean, people do if it's just a short time?
Coach: If that's your decision.
Frank: It's up to us?
Coach: It's up to you.

Amy: Must have been mental before the system.
Frank: How do you mean?
Amy: Well, people had to do the whole relationship thing themselves, work out who they wanna be with.
Frank: Hmm. Option paralysis. So many choices, you end up not knowing which one you want.

Nicola: Tikka masala. Just...
Frank: What?
Nicola: It's a bit tikka masala.

---

Lenny: So it's been great, really. Shame it has to end.
Amy: But end it must.

Frank: Well, I learned what it's like to cohabit with someone I despise. Is that useful for the system?
Coach: Everything happens for a reason.

Amy: All right, so now you're gonna say: "What if that's us and we're stuck in a simulation?"
Frank: Well, how would we know?

Amy: Have you ever had more than four or less than four?

Coach: Everything happens for a reason... The system will be assessing your reaction to the painful premature termination of a treasured relationship and will adjust and improve its profile of your eventual chosen one accordingly.

Amy: Coach?
Coach: Yes, Amy?
Amy: Count to four.

--
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Crocodile

Black Mirror 4×3

Shazia: Now, I'll just hook you up to the recaller here.
Simon: It's one of those memory dredgers?
Shazia: We prefer "corroborators."
Simon: Police things, aren't they?
Shazia: Mm... Not since last year. We all have them now.

Shazia: No sipping, just take a sniff. Aroma's a great memory boost, helps anchor you to where you were.

Shazia: So, this accesses engrams, your memories of what happened. Now, they're subjective. They may not be totally accurate, and they're often emotional, but by collecting a range of recollections from yourself and any witnesses, we can help build a corroborative picture of the whole.

Shazia: Well, memories can be subjective. What we do is build up an overall average, a crowd-sourced picture of reality.

--
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Arkangel

Black Mirror 4×2

Dr Usborne: You can't remove the implant, but you can get rid of the parental unit. The screen. Just throw it away. Problem solved.

Marie: Everything I've done, I've done for you.

--
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USS Callister

Black Mirror 4×1

Nanette: Daly? No, no. No. It's not like that. It's purely... It's professional. I like his code.

Lieutenant Lowry: Yeah, you're seriously gonna need to sit the fuck down.

Nanette: Your skin is blue.
Tulaska: Weird blue alien skin, I know. It's fucked up. Almost sort of racist.

Lieutenant Walton: Yes, it's a bubble universe, ruled by an asshole god.

Nanette: This is a dream. Yeah, it has to be.
Lieutenant Walton: It's more like an eternal waking nightmare from which there is no escape.

Captain Daly: Lieutenant Cole, Valdack's hideout. Triangulate the signal, please.....
Lieutenant Lowry: It's any button. They're all the same.

Nanette: OK. Stealing my pussy is a red fucking line.

Nanette: Daly's smart, but he's not a god. He's a coder. He is fallible.

Captain Daly: What is Space Fleet?.. I'll tell you what it is. It is a belief system... founded on the very best of human nature. It is a goal for us to strive towards... for the betterment of the universe, for the betterment of life itself... And you assholes are fucking it up!

---

Lieutenant Walton: If this is another one of your plans, just stop before somebody else gets monsterfied.

Helmsman Packer: Flying into certain death in a wormhole beats another 10,000 years with Captain Ass. I'm in.

Lieutenant Cole: I'm picking up a distress signal from the surface of Skillane IV. Looks like a crashed shuttle. What should we do?
Captain Daly: ... Space Fleet never turns its back on those who need our help. Dudani, set a course for Skillane IV.

Captain Daly: Swimming is a leisure activity. We're on Space Fleet duty.

Helmsman Packer: You remember that password?
Dudani: Uppercase Y, 998, lowercase gb, 7, uppercase TY ampersand 4. Secure choice.

Helmsman Packer: Goddamn.
Tulaska: That is... gymnastic physique.

Lieutenant Cole: Packer, we ready to fly?
Helmsman Packer: Uh-huh.
Lieutenant Cole: ... Well?
Helmsman Packer: You're supposed to say something like "engage" or "increase thrust."
Lieutenant Cole: Just fucking go.

Tulaska: I hope we are going to die.

Helmsman Packer: So what do we do now?
Dudani: We've got an infinite procedurally generated universe at our disposal. We can go anywhere.
Lieutenant Cole: Holy mackerel.

--
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Hated in the Nation

Black Mirror 3×6

& DCI Parke: This is Blue. She’s my shadow.

& DCI Parke: These things are almost always either drink, drugs or domestic. It is how it is.

& TDC Blue Colson: These things absorb who we are. They know everything about us.

& DCI Parke: That Internet stuff drifts off like weather. It’s half hate. They don’t mean it. The hate in a marriage, that’s in 3D. That’s had work put into it. That’s sincere.

---

& Liza Bahar: I didn’t do anything!
    DCI Parke: Start a thread about it.

& DCI Parke: Jesus, I didn’t expect to find myself living in the future, but here I fucking well am.

& DCI Parke: Are you Batman?
    Shaun Li: They only just rolled them out. This’ll turn every red light between here and there to green.
    DCI Parke: Fuck me. If this is the NCA life, I should apply for a transfer.

& Shaun Li: Lunatic with production values, that’s the worst kind.

--
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Men Against Fire

Black Mirror 3×5

& Medina: Cross on the wall there. You got principles. Think all life is sacred. And I get it. I agree. All life is sacred so... you even got to protect the roaches. Right?
    It’s not their fault they’re like that. They didn’t ask for this. I get it. We get it. There’s shit in their blood that made them that way. The sickness they’re carrying. They doesn’t care about the sanctity of life or the pain about who else is gonna suffer.
    We don’t stop the roaches, in five, ten, 20 years from now, you’re still gonna get kids born that way, and then they’re gonna breed. Bingo. And so it goes on. That cycle of pain. That sickness, and it could have been avoided.
    Every roach you save today, you condemn God knows how many people to despair and misery tomorrow. You can’t still see them as human. Understandable sentiment, granted, but it’s misguided. We gotta take them out if humankind is gonna carry on in this world. That’s just the hard truth. Gotta make sacrifices.

& Arquette: Let’s get you a good sleep tonight, huh? A real good sleep.

& Catarina: Everybody hates us.
    Stripe: Well, what the fuck do they see? Huh? The fucking civs, when they look at a roach, what do they see?
    Catarina: What you see now. They hate all the same because it’s what they’ve been told.

& Catarina: Ten years ago, it began... First, the screening programme, the DNA checks, then the register, the emergency measures. And soon everyone calls us creatures. Filthy creatures. Every voice. The TV. The computer. Say we have... we have sickness in us. We have weakness. It’s in our blood. They say that our blood cannot go on. That we cannot go on.

& Stripe: The whole thing is a lie... Roaches. They look just like us.
    Arquette: Of course they do. That’s why they’re so dangerous.

---

& Arquette: Humans. You know, we give ourselves a bad rap, but we’re genuinely empathetic as a species. I mean, we don’t actually really want to kill each other. ....
    Many years ago, I’m talking early 20th century, most soldiers didn’t even fire their weapons. Or if they did, they would just aim over the heads of the enemies. They did it on purpose.
    British Army. World War I. The brigadier, he’d walk the line with a stick and he’d whack his men in order to get them to shoot.
    Even in World War II, in a firefight, only 15%, 20% of the men would pull the trigger. The fate of the world at stake and only 15% of them fired.
    Now what does that tell you? It tells me that that war would have been over a whole lot quicker had the military got its shit together. So we adapted. Better training. Better conditioning.
    Then comes the Vietnam War, and the shooting percentage goes up to 85. Lot of bullets flying. The kills were still low. Plus the guys who did get a kill, well, most of them came back all messed up in the head.

& Arquette: It’s a lot easier to pull the trigger when you’re aiming at the bogeyman, hmm?

& Arquette: Do you have any idea the amount of shit that’s in their DNA? Higher rates of cancer. Muscular dystrophy. MS. SLS. Substandard IQ. Criminal tendencies. Sexual deviances... It’s all there.

& Arquette: You’ll see and smell and feel it all... On a loop? In a cell all alone? Is this what you want?

& Arquette: Just say the word, Stripe. And it all goes away. Just say the word.

--
On the IMDb

San Junipero

Black Mirror 3×4

& Yorkie: I... I said I’m not much of a dancer.
    Kelly: No shit. Like a frightened horse on a frozen lake back there. I’m kidding... Half kidding.

& Kelly: What would you like to do? That you’ve never done?
    Yorkie: Oh... So many things.

& Kelly: San Junipero is a party town. All up for grabs...

& Kelly: Time’s nearly up.
    Yorkie: Then let’s lie here.

& Wes: Hey. Try a different time. Here in ’80, the ’90s, 2002 one time... She’s worth the shot, right?

---

& Kelly: Whatever you are can’t scare me.

& Kelly: Uploaded to the cloud, sounds like heaven.

& Kelly: Forty-nine years... I was with him for 49 years! You can’t begin to imagine. You can’t know... the bond, the commitment, the boredom, the yearning, the laughter, the love of it. The fucking love. You just cannot know! Everything we sacrificed... The years I gave him. The years he gave me...

& Kelly: I guess I’m ready.
    Nurse: For what?
    Kelly: For the rest of it.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

+ Soundtracks!

Shut Up and Dance

Black Mirror 3×3

& Kenny: What did you do?
    Lindsay: I was trying to put on this film thing.
    Kenny: What film thing?
    Lindsay: Don’t know. Some programme lets you watch free films. While I was trying to put it on, then it locked up...

& Hector: Them? They? Who the fuck are you on about?
    Kenny: The people.
    Hector: What fucking people?
    Kenny: The phone people. The people on the phone.

& Hector: Okay, okay. They’re saying they just need us to follow their instructions, and everything will be okay. Okay?

---

& Hector: I got a family, which is great. You get bored.

& Kenny: I only looked at pictures and...

& Hector: Your mum’s gonna love that on Facebook, Twitter, Insta-fucking-whatever. And her friends. All eyes on you, giving it that. Toss in the cunts at work, calling you Spurty McGoo. Laughing at your come face, making it their desktop wallpaper. It’s not just weeks. We’re talking years here. Pictures hang about on Google like a gypsy fucking curse. There’s no cure for the Internet. It would never go away. It’d be glued to your name, a fucking stain on you... I’d hang myself if that was me. Crack my fucking neck at the first opportunity.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Playtest

Black Mirror 3×2

& Cooper: How tall... How tall is the Eye? How tall... How tall is Big Ben?

& Sonja: The Singularity? It’s when computers learn to outsmart man like women did years ago.

& Cooper: Feel like I’m gonna go meet Dumbledore. Hope I get Gryffindor.

& Cooper: Whoa!.. It’s white.

& Cooper: «Confidential information, brain downloads the game, duration, termination...» Um... The signature page...

& Cooper: Like VR?
    Katie: More like layers on top of reality.

& Cooper: What’s that?
    Katie: We call this a mushroom.
    Cooper: Like Mario Brothers?
    Katie: If you like.

---

& Cooper: You’re qualified to do this, right?
    Katie: I haven’t killed anyone yet. May I?

& Shou Saito: I have always liked to make the player jump. Frightened. You get scared, you jump. Afterwards, you feel good. You glow. Why?
    Cooper: Oh, um... Because of the adrenaline rush.
    Shou Saito: Yes... But mostly because you are still alive.

& Katie: Now, nothing you’ll see can physically harm you. It’s all just audio-visual, like the gopher game. But if it does get too intense, we can pull you out at any time and stop the experiment.
    Cooper: Okay.
    Katie: Is there a safe word you can think of?

& Katie: Welcome to the 19th century. No TV, no Internet, no wi-fi.
    Cooper: Yeah. No wonder people were seeing shit. Probably were just bored out of their gourds.
    Katie: Well, that’s the leading theory about ghost sightings. The mind plays tricks when less stimulated. Fewer distractions, people saw more ghosts.

& Katie: You’re being discursive... Talkative... Rambling. People sometimes talk more when they’re afraid. Helps compensate for the fear. Masks it, too. Similar to when you’ve got the TV on late at night. The voices make you feel less alone... Even though you are alone.

& Cooper: Oh, fuck! More stairs? Come on!
    Katie: Just one more level.

& Shou Saito: On behalf of Saito Game Team, I most humbly apologize.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Nosedive

Black Mirror 3×1

& Lacie: 3.1? What happened?

& Co-worker: Of course, if it drops below two-five, then it’s... bye-bye.

& RE Agent: A little more than expected?.. There’s options. You know our Prime Influencers Programme?
    Lacie: Do I qualify for that?
    RE Agent: No. No, you don’t. We’d need you around a 4.5.
    Lacie: 4.5?
    RE Agent: Hit 4.5 and there’s a 20% discount.

& Ratings Consultant: Let’s check on your sphere of influence. Let me zoom out here... Great peripherals. Strangers like you, that’s a plus. Healthy inner circle. It’s good. There’s a ways to go, but 4.5 is certainly achievable.

& Ratings Consultant: Well... Most of your interactions are confined to your inner circle and they’re largely, pardon the term... mid-to low-range folks. Same with your outer circle. You’ve got a ton of reciprocal five stars from service industry workers, but there’s not much else.

& Lacie: Quality people?
    Ratings Consultant: High fours. Impress those up-scale folks, you’ll gain velocity on your arc... and there’s your boost.

& Ratings Consultant: Don’t try too hard. It’s impossible to respect. High fours can smell it a mile off. Just be you. Authentic gestures, that’s the key.

& Lacie: In this world, we’re all so caught up in our own heads. It’s easy to lose sight of what’s real. What matters...

& Ryan: High fours like Naomi, I bet they’re suicidal on the inside!

---

& Hannah: I see there’s one standby seat on another plane leaving tonight. Uh... That’s reserved for members of our Prime Flight Programme. You gotta be a 4.2 or over to qualify.
    Lacie: Oh, I’m... I’m a 4.2.
    Hannah: Uh-huh. I’m afraid you’re actually a 4.183.

& Lacie: Call the fucking supervisor!
    Hannah: Okay, that’s profanity. We’re zero tolerance on profanity.

& Hannah: What’s the issue here, Hannah?
    Security Guard: Intimidation and profanity.
    Lacie: Oh, no, no. I was not intimidating.
    Security Guard: Don’t speak, ma’am... Okay. So, in order to restore calm, I’m invoking my authority as airport security to dock you one full ranking point as a punitive measure. This is a temporary measure.
    Lacie: No!
    Security Guard: Your score reverts to normal in 24 hours... During this period, all down votes are subject to a times two multiplier. We recommend you avoid negative feedback at this time... Please, remove yourself from the airport immediately.

& Rental car clerk: Well, due to your current ranking, you’re restricted to our super saver fleet. Yep. That’s... Yeah. I-Cruiser 2?
    Lacie: They still have the 2?

& Susan: Checking my feed for danger signs? I get it a lot. 1.4 gotta be an antisocial maniac, right?

& Lacie: You said you wanted your oldest friend!
    Naomi: When I asked you to speak, you were a 4.2, okay? And the authenticity of a vintage bond low four at a gathering of this calibre played fantastically on all the stimulations we ran. Forecast was a prestige bounce of 2 minimum. But now you’re a sub three. Sorry.

& Lacie: So it was just about numbers for you?
    Naomi: Oh, cut the shit! It was numbers for both of us.

& Lacie: You look like an alcoholic former weatherman.
    Jailmate: You sound like a lost little lamb that just got told there’s no Santa Claus.
    Lacie: What sort of cartoon character did your mum have to fuck to brew you up in the womb?
    Jailmate: At least I look like I was born, not shit out by some tormented cow creature in an underground lab.
    Lacie: You got tossed out of that lab. Oh, yeah, flushed out. In the trash! Your face is a fucking... Fucking biological car crash that made Picasso screw his eyes up and say, «Well, that just don’t make sense.»
    Jailmate: You’re a fucking asshole.
    Lacie: Fuck you!
    Jailmate: Fuck you next Wednesday.
    Lacie: Fuck you for Christmas!

--
+ quotes on the IMDb

Σ Black Mirror. Scary, us usual.