Command Performance

The Orville 1×2

Ed: That is, uh, Kermit the Frog.
Bortus: I do not recognize the species.
Ed: It’s an amphibious life-form from Earth. Bortus: Is it someone you know? No, no, he’s just a leader I admire. Always keeps his cool in a crisis, inspires greatness in his people. He’s...

Bortus: Sir, I wish to request a leave of absence.
Ed: For what reason?
Bortus: I have laid an egg.

Ed: And you sit on it? You sit on the egg?
Bortus: Yes, sir.
Ed: Wow. Well, listen, tell Klyden congrats, and, uh, if you got one more in you, dibs on the omelet.
Bortus: Sir?
Ed: Sorry. Bad joke.
Bortus: Yes.

Lamarr: Well, where does it come out of? The butt?
Ed: You know, John, I didn’t really pry into those kinds of specifics.
Lamarr: How’s that not the first thing you ask?

Mrs. Mercer: You know, uh, Eddie tells us you’re just a wonderful first officer. I’m-I’m glad you two are friends again, after the, um, infidelity.
Kelly: O-Okay. Yeah. No, no, we’re... we’re fine.
Mrs. Mercer: Was it worth it?

Ed: It wasn’t that bad.
Kelly: Be honest.
Ed: She once called you a bitch 46 times in one sitting.

Ed: I say this with all due respect... you are high.
Kelly: Well, since we are seeing your mother, that’s not a bad idea.
Ed: What are you doing?
Kelly: One cannabis edible.

Gordon: Think they’d give me three weeks off to sit on an egg?

Dr. Finn: Command is all about the balance between inspiring confidence in your leadership and knowing when to trust your people.

Dr. Finn: Now, the question is, did you learn from this error?

---

Alara: Will you help me?
Dr. Finn: I’m not gonna whisper the right answers in your ear, but I’ll try to be your Obi-Wan however I can.
Alara: My what?
Dr. Finn: Never mind.

Alara: Kaylon is comparable to the Calivon themselves, which means they should be willing to talk to us as long as he’s with us.
Lamarr: White dude can go to Compton long as the black guy says it’s cool.
Alara: I have no idea what that means, but yes.

Alara: Oh, Claire, I have bad news.
Dr. Finn: What’s wrong?
Alara: You’re the ranking officer, which means you have command. Enjoy.
Dr. Finn: Son-of-a-bitch.

Zookeeper: You’re kidding.
Isaac: I am Kaylon. We do not kid.

Ed: I’m going to the bathroom to read!
Kelly: .... What the hell was that?
Ed: It was Elvis Presley’s last words. It was all I could think of.

Alara: They wanted a human zoo. I gave ’em one....
Calivonian-1: The Bachelor. Duck Dynasty. Keeping Up with the Kardashians. There must be 10,000 files here...
Calivonian-2: What is this reality television?
Zookeeper: The best exhibit we’ve ever had.

Bortus: Klyden. Come.
Klyden: It is... a female.
Bortus: That is... impossible.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb