20 дек. 2011 г.

Two and a Half Men 2x8

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

& Alan: Hey, how do I look?
    Charlie: Incredible. All men want to be you, all women want to be with you.
    Alan: Could you at least look at me before you answer?
    Charlie: I stand corrected. All men want to be with you...

& Nancy: My God, Alan. You’re like a machine.
    Alan: I’m a love shark, baby. If I stop making love, I drown.
    Nancy: ...... Sharks don’t growl.
    Alan: All right, I’m a love bear. If I stop making love, I prevent forest fires.

& Berta: It seems we’re living in an age of miracles... I guess if they can put a man on the moon... they can put a woman on your brother.

& Berta: Who’s the girl?
    Charlie: I don’t know. He met her at the supermarket. Helped her pick out corn.
    Berta: Corn?! ... Well, I’m not in any position to judge. I once did a guy for a tank of gas.

& Charlie: Hey, Alan? Alan?
    Alan: Yeah?
    Charlie: What you got there?
    Alan: Basting brush... chocolate sauce, rubber gloves. You know what we’re gonna use them for?
    Charlie: No.
    Alan: Neither do I.


& Alan: Charlie, I have never had sex like this before in my life! In fact, I don’t think anything I’ve had prior to this can even be called sex. Because if you call that sex, we need a new name for this. My suggestion would be “hootenanny yum-yum.”
    Charlie: I’m happy for you.
    Alan: Me too. Oh, do we have a step stool?

& Jake: Can I watch TV?
    Charlie: I don’t see why not. You got eyes and a butt.

& Charlie: You hungry?
    Jake: What are we having?
    Charlie: I don’t know. Tell me if you’re hungry.
    Jake: That depends on what we’re having.
    Charlie: Okay, what do you want?
    Jake: What do you got?
    Charlie: He’s not hungry.

& Alan: What kind of man chooses sex with an insatiably hot stranger... over quality time with his little boy?..
    Charlie: I don’t know... A man who was married for 12 years and had sex 12 times?

& Charlie: Mom, thank God you’re here!
    Evelyn: Oh, I don’t need your sarcasm, Charlie.
    Charlie: No, I mean it. I need you. Alan needs you.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.

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