Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Charlie: Incredible. All men want to be you, all women want to be with you.
Alan: Could you at least look at me before you answer?
Charlie: I stand corrected. All men want to be with you...
& Nancy: My God, Alan. You’re like a machine.
Alan: I’m a love shark, baby. If I stop making love, I drown.
Nancy: ...... Sharks don’t growl.
Alan: All right, I’m a love bear. If I stop making love, I prevent forest fires.
& Berta: It seems we’re living in an age of miracles... I guess if they can put a man on the moon... they can put a woman on your brother.
& Berta: Who’s the girl?
Charlie: I don’t know. He met her at the supermarket. Helped her pick out corn.
Berta: Corn?! ... Well, I’m not in any position to judge. I once did a guy for a tank of gas.
& Charlie: Hey, Alan? Alan?
Alan: Yeah?
Charlie: What you got there?
Alan: Basting brush... chocolate sauce, rubber gloves. You know what we’re gonna use them for?
Charlie: No.
Alan: Neither do I.
& Alan: Charlie, I have never had sex like this before in my life! In fact, I don’t think anything I’ve had prior to this can even be called sex. Because if you call that sex, we need a new name for this. My suggestion would be “hootenanny yum-yum.”
Charlie: I’m happy for you.
Alan: Me too. Oh, do we have a step stool?
& Jake: Can I watch TV?
Charlie: I don’t see why not. You got eyes and a butt.
& Charlie: You hungry?
Jake: What are we having?
Charlie: I don’t know. Tell me if you’re hungry.
Jake: That depends on what we’re having.
Charlie: Okay, what do you want?
Jake: What do you got?
Charlie: He’s not hungry.
& Alan: What kind of man chooses sex with an insatiably hot stranger... over quality time with his little boy?..
Charlie: I don’t know... A man who was married for 12 years and had sex 12 times?
& Charlie: Mom, thank God you’re here!
Evelyn: Oh, I don’t need your sarcasm, Charlie.
Charlie: No, I mean it. I need you. Alan needs you.
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+ quotes on the Imdb.
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