Hung 1x9

This Is America or Fifty Bucks

& Ray: Sit down and think about what you did... wrong. We’re always given a choice, ladies and gentlemen, whether to walk the path of the straight and narrow, or to succumb to temptation. Do I write the essay myself or do I copy it verbatim from Wikipedia?.. See these questions, this choice, comes down to the core of who you are. Detention now leads to prison later, fellas.

& Tanya: I don’t understand. If by your own assertion the sex was great, then shouldn’t you be happy?
    Patty: Have you ever done coke, Tanya?
    Tanya: Cocaine? Uh, no. I tried peyote a couple of times...
    Patty: Well, having sex with that guy is like doing coke. It’s expensive, but you really want it, so you buy it and then you get this huge awesome rush.

& Tanya: So I guess you won’t be interested in our bimonthly package? I’m kidding. Seriously, what would make you interested in being a repeat customer?
    Patty: I don’t know. Maybe if he was like crack.
    Tanya: Crack?
    Patty: Yeah, cheap, dirty, same high at half the price.

& Ray: Hey, I don’t need to hear about your lesbian past, Tanya. We’re having a business meeting. This is business.
    Tanya: Then I’m gonna be honest with you, Ray. We are encountering a little pushback in our pricing.

& Ray: What are you talking about? When we started this thing, it was you that said we were gonna clear two grand a night.
    Tanya: I know. I know I said that. But do you watch cable news?

& Ray: This house is not gonna fix itself. I mean, who do I have to fuck around here to get my kids back?

& Tanya: Ray, I don’t think it sounds right when you say “my kid’s a gay.” Just, “my kid’s gay.”

---

& Damon: All right, I haven’t had sex with him. Yet.
    Darby: Wait, do you want to?.. It’s okay. Don’t worry. I mean, guys are really easy to please.
    Jessica: Go! Come on, you’re almost there, guys. I give ’em 10 bucks every time they reach the top. It’s my secret weight-loss plan.

& Tanya: It’s a progressive service. It’s very sensitive. In no way dirty... Unless you like dirty.

& Tanya: I know the economy is collapsing... But heck! When you look back at your life do you really want to say to yourself, “Damn it! I was such a fuddy-duddy. I never once paid for sex. Not even once.”

& Tanya: Wow, you have a dog? What’s its name?
    Lenore: Patty. Horny Patty, actually.

& Lenore: How much do you think these shoes are worth?
    Ray: I don’t know.
    Lenore: $79.99. How about these?
    Ray: No idea.
    Lenore: $1,250.
    Ray: Whew. Come on.
    Lenore: Do you know why?.. Branding.

& Lenore: That’s the crucial thing you need to remember. Paying more doesn’t bother them. It gives them peace of mind. If they wear something of value, that means that they in turn have value. You shouldn’t be lowering your price in this economy, you should be raising it.

& Lenore: Hold on. It’s time to diversify. Listen, not all women can come from just dick alone.
    Ray: I haven’t heard any complaints.
    Lenore: ...That you know of.
    Ray: It’s gonna cost you extra.

& Ray: You know, some guys have a problem with it, but not me. I just... You know, have to like the lady.
    Lenore: Like the lady? What are you, a bible salesman? You don’t need to like the lady. You just need to... Like the cash.

& Lenore: Ray, you really need to come play on my team. We should team up. Listen, Tanya, she doesn’t know anyone. She has no access to wealth. She can’t get you what you need.
    Ray: Tanya’s my friend. She’s also my partner.
    Lenore: Am I paying to argue with you? Oh God! Oh my God!

& Patty: This is my workplace! You’re telling people I do coke and heroin?
    Tanya: I never said a word about heroin!

& Linda: Patty paid for sex?!
    Tanya: Linda...

& Jessica: I just wanted to get something on sale.
    Lenore: Oh. Yeah. You know what? You can paw through the racks if you want, but I’m gonna tell you a little secret. I can get you the same exact discount on the new designer collection. Come on.

& Jessica: Do you work here or something?
    Lenore: Kind of. I’m a lifestylist.

& Lenore: I’m taking a little survey. Can you have an orgasm from just cock or do you need a guy to go down on you to get off?
    Jessica: I can’t answer that.
    Lenore: I’ve asked a bunch of my clients. Seems like the ratio is 60-40 tongue to dick.

& Tanya: Lenore likes for her clients to pay upfront.
    Linda: Great.
    Tanya: Oh, I’m sorry, Linda. We’ll need the full amount. Uh... Our service costs $600.
    Linda: I have 50. You said there was a sliding scale.
    Tanya: Right. There is. Okay, I get it. We can offer you $100 off and give you our service for $400. ... I mean 500. ... $100 off 600.

& Ronnie: You guys went shopping?
    Jessica: I know. I was only gonna pick up one little thing. But then I met Lenore and she’s amazing.

& Ronnie: And you bought all this?
    Jessica: I know it looks like a lot, but Lenore gets a 15% discount on every item over 100 bucks.

& Lenore: Jessica, stop it.
    Jessica: Stop what?
    Lenore: Stop handing out your love like you’re a 10th grade slut. Stop letting your kids and your husband walk all over you. Repeat after me... I have the power. Say it.
    Jessica: Oh...
    Lenore: Say it.
    Jessica: I have the power.
    Lenore: Say it again.
    Jessica: I have the power.
    Lenore: I don’t believe you.
    Jessica: I have the motherfucking power!!!

--
+ on Imdb.