25 дек. 2011 г.

Two and a Half Men 2x11

Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

& Rose: Hey, Charlie.
    Charlie: Rose, stop!
    Rose: What?
    Charlie: We’re friends now, right?
    Rose: Right.
    Charlie: Our one-night stand is ancient history. You’re not stalking me anymore, right?
    Rose: Right.
    Charlie: Then use the damn stairs.
    Rose: Really?
    Charlie: Yes.
    Rose: Okay... I’m opening up the gate...
    Charlie: I’m proud of you.
    Rose: I’m starting up the stairs...
    Charlie: You can do it.
    Rose: Oh, boy. I don’t know about this.
    Charlie: You’ll get used to it.
    Rose: Yeah, we’ll see.

& Charlie: I ran into some women last night. Never met them before. But they seem to have already formed a poor opinion of me.
    Rose: So you think somebody’s out there spreading nasty rumors?
    Charlie: Worse. I think somebody’s out there spreading the truth.

& Charlie: I’m not Googling you. I’m Googling me!.. “CharlieHarperSucks.com...” That’s gotta be a different Charlie Harper.

& Charlie: I have a bad feeling.


& Tina: We spent a week in Cancún, having great sex every day. Flew back to L.A. You told me you’d call me tomorrow, and it’s been... How long has it been?.. A year and a half.
    Charlie: That long?
    Tina: Oh, yeah. I guess time flies when you’re the scum of the earth.

& Berta: “Pro: No alimony. Con: No sex.” “Pro: See Jake all the time. Con: See Judith all the time.”
    Alan: What are you doing? Give me that.
    Berta: I’m sorry. It was just laying there.
    Alan: That’s private.
    Berta: Okay. I got another “pro” for you.
    Alan: Yeah? What’s that?
    Berta: If you hook back up with Olive Oyl... I won’t have to scrub your toilet anymore.
    Alan: Pro: No more Berta.

& Alan: Thank you, Berta. You’re a very insightful woman.
    Berta: I know. In a just world, you’d be washing my shorts.
    Alan: Well, thanks, nevertheless.
    Berta: Last chance to see those tattoos...
    Alan: No thanks.
    Berta: I can make the Road Runner do jumping jacks!

& Alan: Charlie, what’s wrong?
    Charlie: I’ve been making amends. Five amends in one afternoon. Well, technically, four. I had to fake the last one.

--
On the Imdb.

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