Two and a Half Men 2x7

A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

& Daisy: Hey, you Charlie?
    Charlie: Maybe. Who’s asking?
    Daisy: I’m Daisy, the caterer.
    Charlie: Your Berta’s sister?
    Daisy: Same mom. Dad’s a little iffy*. Berta said if I wanted a shot of your bourbon, I had to ask you.
    Charlie: Yeah, sure. Knock yourself out.
    Daisy: Thanks. I don’t usually drink before noon, but I’m going through a rough patch.
    Charlie: Well, that’s why they make bourbon.

& Daisy: My husband left me for another woman. You know how I found out?
    Charlie: To tell you the truth...
    Daisy: Relax. It’s rhetorical. They waved to me as they drove my house out of the trailer park.

& Daisy: I picked him up off his sorry, unemployed ass. I gave him hair plugs, contact lenses, teeth. The bastard dumped me for this tiny, little Korean manicurist... who huffs nail-polish remover between appointments.
    Charlie: Well, you give a guy hair and teeth, he’s bound to hook up with trash...
    Daisy: No, she was pretty hot. She had a spray-on tan, Botox up the yin-yang. Couldn’t tell if she was 20 or 60.

& Berta: Oh, excuse me for trying to help my broke, homeless, baby sister.
    Daisy: I’m not homeless. I have a home. I just don’t know where it’s parked.

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& Charlie: Berta... Berta, you can’t quit being related to somebody. Believe me, I’ve tried.
    Berta: She is a spoiled, little princess... who doesn’t know when somebody’s trying to help. And you know what else?
    Charlie: Hold on, hold on. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around “little princess.”

& Alan: Why don’t you wanna go to your party?
    Evelyn: Please, it isn’t a party. It’s a sham. None of those people are my friends.
    Alan: Why would you think that?
    Evelyn: Believe it or not, Alan, your mother is a very sensitive woman... and I can feel when people around me know that I hate them.

& Berta: And after all that, the loans, the bail, the kidney I gave her... which even though it wasn’t mine, was still money out of pocket... did she appreciate my sacrifices?
    Charlie: I’m guessing no.
    Berta: She threw them away on chasing after men with drinking problems... men with gambling problems, men with wooden legs and glass eyes. You wanna know why?
    Charlie: Spare parts?

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iffy — ненадежный; неопределенный

+ quotes on the Imdb.