Scrubs 1x1

My First Day

& JD (John Dorian): You know how I'm down with the rap music?
    Turk: Dude, be whiter.

& Elliot: I love Pac-Man.
    JD: Me, too. I love watching it, I love playing it, I love all of it.

& Elliot: Every male in my family is a doctor. That's why Dad gave me a guy's name, made me play sports, date girls. Joking.
    JD: I know. I would've laughed if you'd paused.

& Elliot: I know what you're thinking.
    JD: Your butt looks like two Pringles hugging. No, you don't.

& Dr. Cox: Did you actually just page me to find out how much Tylenol to give to Mrs. Lenzer?
    JD: I was worried it could exacerbate...
    Dr. Cox: It's regular-strength Tylenol. Here's what you do. Open her mouth, take a handful and throw it at her. Whatever sticks, that's the correct dosage.

& JD: Dr. Kelso is always saying...
    Dr. Cox: I'm gonna say this as carefully as possible, so I don't overstate it. Dr. Kelso is the most evil human being on the planet and may in fact be Satan himself.

& JD: Most of my patients are... older and sorta checked-out, mentally.
    Dr. Cox: Pumpkin, that's modern medicine. Advances that keep people alive who should've died a long time ago. Back when they lost what made them people. Your job is to stay sane enough so when someone does come in that you can help, you're not so braindead you can't function.

---

& Dr. Cox: Write this down. If you push around a stiff, nobody'll ask you to do anything.

& Dr. Cox: Have a terrific day.

& Turk: I had my hands inside of a guy's chest. I couldn't even see them.
    JD: You weren't scared?
    Turk: One way or another, everyone stops bleeding.

& JD: I thought we cared for each other.
    Elliot: You just wanna sleep with me.
    JD: I don't wanna sleep with you now.
    Elliot: Do me right here... See?!

& Todd: Tell me if I'm going too fast, OK?
    Carla: Lose the clothes. ... Damn, this is hot. Nice.
    Todd: Your turn.
    Carla: No, I gotta get back, but very nice.

& Dr. Bob Kelso: Why don't you just head on home? You look kinda tired...
    JD: I am pretty tired.
    Dr. Bob Kelso: Dr. Dorian, do you not realise that you're nothing but a large pair of scrubs to me?! The only reason I carry this chart around is so I can pretend to remember your names. If the patient has insurance, you treat them. If they don't, you show them the door. And if somebody dies, you get the autopsy. Get it by rounds tomorrow or I'll scratch your name off my chart. Clear?!

& JD: I guess that's it for now. 31 hours, 12 minutes, and I am...

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scrubs — поросль; ничтожный человек; карликовое растение; второй состав; поденщик, выполняющий тяжелую, грязную работу; ничтожный

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