American Horror Story 1x4

Halloween: Part 1

& Chad Warwick (by Zachary Quinto!): I need help carving these pumpkins.
    Patrick: Who is that?
    Chad: It’s Marie Antoinette. I’m doing a famous French figures theme this year.

& Patrick: I’m hitting the gym.
    Chad: Well, make sure you wear a condom.

& Patrick: I can’t believe this is who we’ve become... Halloqueens arguing over pumpkins.

& Vivien: We have style.
    Marcy: Everybody thinks they have style, and everybody thinks they’re funny... Most people aren’t.

& Vivien: Marcy, do you know any of these fluffers? Can you get one for us immediately?
    Marcy: Yes, a wonderful English lady, a real pro, but she’s more expensive than the young gay fellow I know.
    Vivien: Let’s go with the gay fellow.
    Ben: Gay fellow.
    Marcy: I’ll call the fluffer.

& Addy: The dead can walk freely on Halloween.
    Constance: ... We’ve always known that.

& Larry: Trick or treat!
    Ben: What are you doing here?!
    Larry: Um, trick or treat? It’s Halloweek. I do the full seven days. It’s the only time I can really be myself. Ben: So, uh, just pop the thousand dollars in the pumpkin here and nobody will be the wiser.

& Ben: What’s under that gazebo is what you did!
    Larry: But what’s inside what’s under that gazebo is what you did.

---

& Ben: I’m done talking! I have a patient.
    Larry: And I have patience. But there is a limit.

& Ben: I’ll meet you someplace for coffee, but you have to promise me...
    Tate: I promise you. Promise! No more weird shit, okay?

& Vivien: Are you Marcy’s fluffers?
    Chad: I’m Chad Warwick. This is my ball and chain, Patrick.

& Chad: Your husband seems very...
    Vivien: Handsome?
    Chad: Nervous. I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I get. Um... darkness.

& Vivien: Seems like you and Pat are having problems.
    Chad: Yeah. He can’t keep his dick in his pants.
    Vivien: You caught him cheating?
    Chad: Yes. I’m a sneak and a snoop.
    Vivien: How?
    Chad: It’s easy. Cell phone records... You can delete a text, but you can’t erase the bill.

& Addy: Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat.

& Violet: How old are you, Addy?
    Addy: A lady never reveals her age.

& Violet: You can’t keep breaking into our house, Addy.
    Addy: But I like it here. My friends are here.

& Violet: What’s in this basement? I want the truth.
    Tate: What I’m about to tell you might scare you... to death.

& Ben: Hey, you had every right to react exactly the way you did. But believe me... Hayden is over.
    Vivien: ....... It’s Hayden.

& Vivien: I think you’re overreacting.
    Chad: Because I’m the only one who actually gives a shit?! I think you should just leave.
    Vivien: You think we should just leave our house?
    Chad: It’s not your house! We know it, you know it and the house knows it.
    Patrick: Frankly, you don’t deserve it.

& Violet: What’s going on?
    Ben: Stay here, and don’t answer the door.
    Violet: Don’t answer the door? It’s Halloween.

& A nurse: Let’s just take a look, and make sure that everything is perfect. Okay... And you’re sure about the time line?
    Vivien: Yeah, eight weeks. Positive.
    A nurse: The baby seems to be a lot bigger...

& Moira’s Mom: Come with me, baby.
    Moira: I want to, but I can’t, Mother. I can’t.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.