& Alex: This is my miniature brother, Igor. I am tutoring him to be a man of this world. For an example, I exhibited him a smutty magazine three days before.
Igor: Why is it called sixty-nine?
Alex: I explain it to him that this is because it was invented in the year 1969. I know this because my friend Grisha knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor.
Igor: What did people do before 1969?
Alex: He is a genius, my miniature brother.
& Alex: Grandfather became very melancholy... and also, he says, blind. His most recent employment was Heritage Tours... a business he started in 1950s... Mostly for aiding rich Jewish people to search for their dead families. It is a strange employment for Grandfather... as there is nothing he hates more than rich Jewish people or their dead families.
& Jonathan Safran Foer (by Elijah Wood): Are you sure he’s okay?
Alex: Grandfather!
Grandfather: Shut up! I’m blind, not deaf. I heard you the first time!
Jonathan: What does he say?
Alex: He says, ’Okey-dokey, we will go now.’
& Jonathan: Why do you call her that?
Alex: What?
Jonathan: Sammy Davis Jr. Jr.
Alex: Because Sammy Davis Jr. was Grandfather’s most beloved singer. You know, The Candy Man. The Negro from the Rat Pack.
Jonathan: And a Jew.
Alex: What?!
Jonathan: Yeah, he was a Jew. You didn’t know that?
Alex: Grandfather, the Jew says that Sammy Davis Jr. is Jewish.
Grandfather: The bitch?
Alex: Not Jr. Jr., Jr. the singer.
Grandfather: That’s bullshit!
Alex: Grandfather informs me that this is not possible.
Jonathan: Of course it is. He converted. He’s the most famous black Jew in America.
Alex: Please tell me, is the Shaq also the Jew?
Jonathan: Who?
Alex: Shaquille O’Neal, the Los Angeles Laker.
Jonathan: No.
Alex: And Michael Jackson?
Jonathan: No, definitely not a Jew.
& Alex: And what do you collect?
Jonathan: Things... Family things.
Alex: It is a good career, yes?
Jonathan: No, it’s not a career. It’s just something I do.
Alex: Why?
Jonathan: I don’t know. Why does anybody do anything? It’s just something to do.
Alex: I understand. I also enjoy writing... but I truly feel I was born to be accountant.
& Jonathan: Are we close?
Alex: The Jew wants to know if we are close.
Grandfather: Tell him to shut the hell up!
Alex: Grandfather says we’re very proximal. He says it will not be long until we get to the superway to Lutsk.
Jonathan: And from there?
Alex: How long from here to Lutsk?
Grandfather: Perhaps you would like me to stop the car... and you two can fuck yourselves to Lutsk!
Jonathan: What did he say?
Alex: Grandfather says you should look out the window at the premium countryside.
& Jonathan: What is it?
Alex: Soviets.
Jonathan: What happened?
Alex: Independence.
& Alex: How much currency would a first-rate accountant receive in America?
Jonathan: I don’t know. A lot, probably, if he or she is good.
Alex: She?!
Jonathan: Or he.
Alex: Are there Negro accountants?
Jonathan: Yes, there are African-American accountants... but you don’t want to use that word.
Alex: And homosexual accountants?
Jonathan: There are homosexual everythings. There are homosexual garbage men.
Alex: And how much currency would Negro homosexual accountant receive?
Jonathan: You shouldn’t use that word.
Alex: Which word?
Jonathan: The N-word. It’s not the N-word, but...
Alex: Negro?
Jonathan: Yeah, that one.
Alex: But I dig them all the way. They are premium people.
Jonathan: It’s that word, though. You’re not supposed to use that word.
Alex: What is wrong with the Negroes?
& Alex: Are you carnal very often?
Jonathan: What?
Alex: With American girls, you make sex often?
Jonathan: Not really. Do you?
Alex: I inquired headmost. Do you?
& Alex: Why do you do this?
Jonathan: Maybe sometimes I’m afraid I’ll forget.
--
+ quotes on the Imdb.
+ compilation of clips of the Gogos Bordello with Eugene Hutz (aka Alex Perchov).
__ Why do you do this? — Maybe sometimes I’m afraid I’ll forget.
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