The Matrimonial Metric

The Big Bang Theory 11×12

Sheldon: I don't know how I feel about all this baby-proofing. If Halley can't teach herself to walk down the stairs, then maybe that's nature's way of saying the Wolowitz line ends here.

Amy: How are we gonna make these decisions without anybody getting upset?
Sheldon: Well, what if we take emotion out of the process, and base it on empirical metrics? Then we aren't really making the decision; the data is.
Amy: So... we can hurt our friends' feelings without taking any responsibility?... Me likey.

Sheldon: In reality, people in a wedding party perform very specific functions, and some will perform those better than others.
If I may use a superhero analogy...
Amy: You may not.
Sheldon: Okay, I'll use real people.

Amy: So we break down each of the roles into their component parts, and then design specialized tests for each.
Sheldon: Exactly. Boy, if I had known getting married was going to involve so much science, I'd have proposed years ago...

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Sheldon: Maybe we're being old-fashioned, defining these roles by gender. You know, historically, the best man's role was to defend the bride and groom in combat. I mean, if that's not Penny, I don't know what we're doing here.

Sheldon: You really think you might get cold feet?
Amy: Actually, I was talking about you.
Sheldon: Amy... if there's one thing in this world I'm sure of, you are right to be worried... Good night.

Sheldon: If experimenting on humans is morally wrong, then I don't want to be morally right.

Sheldon: By experimenting on you, I realize I've violated your trust and possibly the Geneva Convention.

Penny: Oh, my God, Amy's my best friend!
Leonard: You okay?

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