Splatty Tomato

South Park 21×10

Mayor: All right, people. We need everyone to try and stay calm.
Randy: How can we stay calm when the president's out there scaring our children?!
Mayor: Look, we all want the president out of here. It's just a matter of how we do it. I know you all want to get rid of him--
Mr. White: That's not true. The Whites still support the president!
Randy: Oh, for sake, White, he's running around eating our pets and terrorizing our kids!
Mr. White: You think Hillary would have been any better?... I'm just sayin'! I'm just sayin'!

Officer Bright: Since the president was given a splatty tomato, he's become very desperate and very dangerous. If you see the president, do not approach him. Do not try to reason with him. Most importantly, remember that this is the president, so you cannot shoot him. All right? You can't even talk about shooting him. Don't even... do any coy satirical takes on shooting him... Okay, good.

Stan: Come on, you guys. Look, we all know what we're supposed to do now. We all saw "It" and "Stranger Things." We need to get our backpacks and go out to woods and save the town from evil to some kick-ass '80s' music!

Strong Woman: Nobody will understand.
P.C. Principal: Maybe they will. We're co-workers who are in love. You really think that's going to bother people?

Randy: We all agreed not to feed him so he'd go away.
Mr. White: We didn't all agree! You all agreed! Nobody asked the Whites how they felt! Nobody cares what the Whites have to say!

Officer Bright: And there's some worse news. A bunch of kids have gone missing. I think we have to assume that the President has... eaten them.

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The President: Oh, Fox News... They'll listen to me. They'll get my side of the story right!
Mr. White: It's a trap!
The President: What?
Mr. White: It's a Fox trap, Mr. President!
The President: Oh, thank God for the Whites...

Stan: Craig just has the wrong stuff. Forget your Pandora. I'm doing Spotify. '80s music... 'Kay... There.

Randy: Oh, my God! What the... Principal and Vice Principal...? But... But you two work together... You two work togeth...

Officer Bright: Wait, wait. You mean he's actually her superior and they were in there...

Mr. White: Who would want to put their penis in a co-worker?!

Sharon: Tell me! You have to tell me! Oh, God. What did you see?!
Randy: You don't want to know.
Sharon: You have to tell me! I can take it! Did you find our son's arm? Did you find him torn apart? What?!
Randy: The Principal and Vice Principal are, like... together.
Sharon: Aww!

Heidi: No. Not you. Me. I did this. I let being a victim become a way of life. If you always make yourself the victim, you can justify being awful.

Heidi: I'm sorry. You can be the victim. I can't.

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