Rixty Minutes

Rick and Morty 1x8

Rick: Oh, cool! Is that crystallized Zanthonite? It conducts electrons across dimensions.
Morty: Twenty percent accurate, as usual, Morty.

Jerry: Rick, would you please go back to me on David Letterman?
Rick: Infinity's a big number, Jerry. I don't remember the channel.

Rick: Infinite time lines, infinite possibilities. Including a time line where Jerry's a movie star.

Summer: It seems like when I exist, life gets a little more, I don't know... predictable?
Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals.
Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.

Summer: You thought about getting an abortion?
Beth: Everyone thinks about it! Obviously, I'm the version of me that didn't do it. So... you're welcome.
Jerry: Yeah, you're welcome.

Jerry: Every family on this block has to wonder if they're together by choice. Our family just has inter-dimensional goggles to show us for a fact that we're not.

---

Summer: I'm leaving!
Beth: You can't leave, you're 17!
Summer: Yeah, and I'm not pregnant. I'm gonna have better judgment than you guys had at my age.

Gazorpazorpfield: You dumb, stupid, weak, pathetic, white, white... uh, uh... guilt, white guilt, milquetoast piece of human garbage.

Morty: Yeah, that's pretty cool, Rick. So all that happened in this reality too?
Rick: I don't know. Just making conversation with you, Morty. What do you think? I-I-I-I know everything about everything?

Morty: Jeez, Rick. Oh my god! That's some pretty hardcore stuff, you know, for a cereal commercial.
Rick: Well, you know, Morty, I mean, you want to sell boxes of cereal, you gotta, you gotta, pump the gas a little. Pedal to the metal, Morty.

Morty: W-w-w-what?
Rick: Speaking of "w-w-what", Morty... W-w-what should we watch next?

Morty: I-I-I kind of know how you feel, Summer.
Summer: No, you don't. You're the little brother. You're not the cause of your parents' misery. You're just a symptom of it.

Morty: Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere... everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV.

Rick: Look, I don't know! I'm watching the same thing you guys are.

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