Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind

Rick and Morty 1x10

Beth: So, dad, guess what tomorrow is.
Rick: Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday.
Beth: No. Well, it... might be.
Rick: It is.

Rick: Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, and most Ricks have a Morty. This place is a real who's who of who's you and me.

Rick: I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick.
Guard-Rick: Save your anti-Rick speech for the council of Ricks, terror-Rick.
Rick: Hey, save your Rick rules for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig.

Rick: I'm the Rick, and so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. You wanted to be safe from the government, so you became a stupid government. That makes every Rick here less Rick than me.

Rick: Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste...

Rick: ...So, as they say in Canada, peace oot!

Rick: Oh, come on. Don't look at another man's portal-gun history. We-- we all go to weird places.

Rick: What?! That's Rick-diculous!

Pizza-1: Yeah, I'd like to order one large person with extra people, please... White people.
Pizza-2: No, no, no, no. Black people. And hispanic on half.

Phone-1: Yes, I'd like to order one large sofa chair with extra chair, please... High chair.
Phone-2: No, no, no, no. Recliner. And wheelchair on half.

Chair-1: Yeah, I'd like to order one large phone with extra phones, please... Cellphone.
Chair-2: No, no, no, no. Rotary. And pay phone on half.

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Chair-Waiter: Phones à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls.
Rick: Anything else?
Chair-Waiter: Yeah, more phone sticks, please.
Rick: Right away, sir.

Rick: You're a camouflage.
Morty: Camouflage? What are you talking about, Rick?
Rick: Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius. The best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible. See, when a Rick is with a Morty, the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh... Morty waves.
Morty: Um... Because o-our personalities are so different?

Morty: I'm just a tool! I-I-I'm just an object!
Rick: Hey, it's your choice to take it personally, Morty. Now, for the love of God, be quiet.

Morty: You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! I'm more than a human shield!
Rick: Yeah, that's right. You are. You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, because you're as dumb as I am smart, which is why when I say "shut up," it's really good advice.

Doofus Rick: Okay, if we add a little more titanium nitrate and just a tad of chlorified tartrate... ovenless brownies!

Killer Rick: You're crying? Over a Morty?
Rick: No, I'm just allergic to dipshits.

Morty: The Mortyest Morty...
Rick: Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster brown. A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. It can be a real bad thing for everybody.
Morty: Oh, yeah? How's that?
Rick: U-uh, I'll explain when you're older.

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