Rick Potion #9

Rick and Morty 1x6

Principal Vagina: Principal Vagina here. Don't let the name fool you. I'm very much in charge...

Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love"... is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.

Morty: I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. What about me, Rick? Why can't you just help me out once once for once?
Rick: You're growing up fast, Morty. You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass.

Rick: All right, Morty, I just got to combine it with some of your DNA.... A hair, Morty. I need one of your hairs. This isn't "Game of Thrones."

Beth: Loving you is work, Jerry, hard work. Like building a homeless shelter nobody wants to say no to doing it, but some people put the work in. So, what do you say? Do you see me working here? Does this conversation seem tedious to me?
Jerry: Sort of.
Beth: Then I obviously sort of love you, don't I? So stop asking, and maybe I'll love you more.

Summer: Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom.
Rick: Well, she's my daughter, Summer. I outrank you. Or family means nothing, in which case don't play that card.

Rick: You're not gonna believe this, because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake.

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Rick: Okay, well, sometimes, science is more art than science, Morty. A lot of people don't get that.

Jerry: Nobody's killing me until after I catch my wife with another man!

Morty: This is not okay! Not only do they all want to have sex with me, but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards!

Rick: This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, shark, golden retriever, and just a smidge of dinosaur. Should add up to normal humanity.

Morty: That doesn't make any sense, Rick!...
Rick: What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? I'm sorry are you the scientist or are you the kid that wanted to get laid?

Rick: Bet you're loving this, Morty. This must be the best day of your life. You get to be the mayor of "I told you" town. You're welcome.

Rick: It's fine. Everything is fine. There's an infinite number of realities, Morty, and in a few dozen of those, I got lucky and turned everything back to normal.

Morty: Rick, what about the reality we left behind?
Rick: What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is don't think about it.

Rick: Now, pick up your dead self and come on. Haste makes waste.

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