Pilot

Arrested Development 1×1

& Lucille: Look what they’ve done, Michael. Look what the homosexuals have done to me.
    Michael: You can’t just comb that out and reset it?

& G.O.B.: Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money... Or cocaine.

& Michael: What comes before anything? What have we always said is the most important thing?
    George Michael: Breakfast.
    Michael: Family.
    George Michael: Family. Right. I thought you meant of the things you eat.

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& Maeby: I don’t understand why you work every weekend. Aren’t you, like, my age?
    George Michael: Well, it’s important to be responsible. I think there aren’t enough young people out there today who have a real work ethic.
    Maeby: What do you mean?
    George Michael: ... I don’t know.

& George Michael: I knew it was against the law!

& Tobias: What an adventure, gang! I thought that the homosexuals were pirates... but it turns out that most of them were actors in the local theater.

& Michael: So, no hard feelings. Adios. Sayonara. I’ll see you when the first parent dies.
    Lucille: Well, I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
    Tobias: Touché. Touché.

& Michael: I quit.
    George Sr.: Probably a good career move.

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+ quotes on the IMDb