& Calvin: Dude, we got a view!
JJ: Yeah, buddy, that was us when we uploaded it.
Calvin: Well, then upload it again so we can have two views.
JJ:I-I don’t think that’s how it works.
& Calvin: We steal his computer and load it full of viruses.
JJ: Wait, where do we get viruses?
Calvin: Uh, duh! Porn sites. Why do you think my computer’s so slow?
& Baxter: Okay, why would you want to watch it... if it can make you pull off your own dick?
Calvin: Because... if you can watch it all the way through from the beginning to end, you’re rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. With money. And sex. And women.
JJ: It’s like that movie The Ring, but with a good ending.
Calvin: Yeah.
JJ: And boobs.
Calvin: Lots of boobs.
& Baxter: So what’s this movie called?
Calvin: Movie...
JJ: Forty-three!
Calvin: Movie forty-three.
& Larry: Shitting is something you do on a whore. Pooping is a gift you give to your soul mate.
Ω Too muchshit poop.
& Superman: Stay away from Lois or l’ll use my heat vision... to fuse your balls into one big ridiculous uniball.
& Supergirl: You saved my life!
Robin: Just-Just doing my job.
Batman: Kiss. Kiss her... Open her mouth and touch tongues. ... Put your tongue inside her mouth... and that’ll coax her tongue to go into your mouth! ... Yeah! You, uh, squeeze her boobies. ... Yeah, and touch her butt. Doesn’t that look nice?
Wonder Woman: It looks so nice. Oh, yeah.
Batman: Hold on! Not so fast!
& Robert: Sir, the iBabe is a...
Boss: High fidelity music player.
Arlene: Yes, it also looks and feels exactly like a naked woman... Teenage boys are physically attracted to naked women.
Robert: Our research doesn’t support that, sir.
Arlene: Look, at the very least, we need to put a warning sticker on the box.
Boss: Other MP3 players don’t have a warning not to have sex with it. Right? A bag of potato chips doesn’t have a warning, “Please don’t fuck these potato chips.” Am I crazy here?
& Robert: we’ve broken down our problem into three steps. Step 1: Kid buys iBabe. Step 2: Kid fucks iBabe. Step 3: Kid mangles dick and sues iBabe. Our goal is to eliminate step two and step three.
Boss: Now I know what the problem is. Why don’t we just move the fan? Why don’t we just put it in her ear?
Brian: No. No, no, no, no, no, sir. Uh, my team spent two years doing the impossible, and you’re pretty much just telling us to go back and start from scratch. You know, to go fuck ourselves!
& Brian: Sir, may I introduce you to the iBabe Special Edition. Faster processing, double storage capacity, and how about that elegant finish.
& Mikey: Nathan on a date for once!
Nathan: Jesus, Mikey, shut up!
Mikey: What? Mom told me to watch you guys. I’m just doing my job.
& Pete: Brian, we’re best friends, man. You can’t move out.
Brian: You fucked my girlfriend, dude.
Pete: One time. For a week.
Brian: What?!
Pete: But I want to make it up to you.
Brian: Can I fuck your girlfriend?
Pete: Yes, but she broke up with me... when she found out I slept with your girlfriend... so I can’t arrange it.
& Emily: I am going to push the limits just a little bit. Are you circumcised?
Donald: Am I circumcised? That’s personal... Circumcision has never really taken off, to be honest, where I’m from. It’s not... it’s not the vogue. I tend to associate it with Jewish people... and we don’t have many Jewish people in Europe anymore... because of the... trouble. So, no, I’m not.
& Coach Jackson: How many fucking times do I have to tell you? You’re black, they’re white, this ain’t hockey!
Anthony: Guys, I think what Coach is trying to say is that the key word is “teamwork.”
Coach Jackson: No, the key word is “you’re black, they’re white”!
Moses: So, Coach, what you’re saying is, if we just walk with the Lord...
Coach Jackson: The Lord? Nigger, the Lord done did his part already! He made you black. He made them white. He gave you a foot-and-a-half dick! Dribble with that motherfucker! As long as y’all are out there on the floor... you’re going to score more points than them. That’s just how basketball works!
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ Well pranked. From the heart. And... Incredible disgusting.
JJ: Yeah, buddy, that was us when we uploaded it.
Calvin: Well, then upload it again so we can have two views.
JJ:
& Calvin: We steal his computer and load it full of viruses.
JJ: Wait, where do we get viruses?
Calvin: Uh, duh! Porn sites. Why do you think my computer’s so slow?
& Baxter: Okay, why would you want to watch it... if it can make you pull off your own dick?
Calvin: Because... if you can watch it all the way through from the beginning to end, you’re rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. With money. And sex. And women.
JJ: It’s like that movie The Ring, but with a good ending.
Calvin: Yeah.
JJ: And boobs.
Calvin: Lots of boobs.
& Baxter: So what’s this movie called?
Calvin: Movie...
JJ: Forty-three!
Calvin: Movie forty-three.
& Larry: Shitting is something you do on a whore. Pooping is a gift you give to your soul mate.
Ω Too much
& Superman: Stay away from Lois or l’ll use my heat vision... to fuse your balls into one big ridiculous uniball.
& Supergirl: You saved my life!
Robin: Just-Just doing my job.
Batman: Kiss. Kiss her... Open her mouth and touch tongues. ... Put your tongue inside her mouth... and that’ll coax her tongue to go into your mouth! ... Yeah! You, uh, squeeze her boobies. ... Yeah, and touch her butt. Doesn’t that look nice?
Wonder Woman: It looks so nice. Oh, yeah.
Batman: Hold on! Not so fast!
& Robert: Sir, the iBabe is a...
Boss: High fidelity music player.
Arlene: Yes, it also looks and feels exactly like a naked woman... Teenage boys are physically attracted to naked women.
Robert: Our research doesn’t support that, sir.
Arlene: Look, at the very least, we need to put a warning sticker on the box.
Boss: Other MP3 players don’t have a warning not to have sex with it. Right? A bag of potato chips doesn’t have a warning, “Please don’t fuck these potato chips.” Am I crazy here?
& Robert: we’ve broken down our problem into three steps. Step 1: Kid buys iBabe. Step 2: Kid fucks iBabe. Step 3: Kid mangles dick and sues iBabe. Our goal is to eliminate step two and step three.
Boss: Now I know what the problem is. Why don’t we just move the fan? Why don’t we just put it in her ear?
Brian: No. No, no, no, no, no, sir. Uh, my team spent two years doing the impossible, and you’re pretty much just telling us to go back and start from scratch. You know, to go fuck ourselves!
& Brian: Sir, may I introduce you to the iBabe Special Edition. Faster processing, double storage capacity, and how about that elegant finish.
& Mikey: Nathan on a date for once!
Nathan: Jesus, Mikey, shut up!
Mikey: What? Mom told me to watch you guys. I’m just doing my job.
& Pete: Brian, we’re best friends, man. You can’t move out.
Brian: You fucked my girlfriend, dude.
Pete: One time. For a week.
Brian: What?!
Pete: But I want to make it up to you.
Brian: Can I fuck your girlfriend?
Pete: Yes, but she broke up with me... when she found out I slept with your girlfriend... so I can’t arrange it.
& Emily: I am going to push the limits just a little bit. Are you circumcised?
Donald: Am I circumcised? That’s personal... Circumcision has never really taken off, to be honest, where I’m from. It’s not... it’s not the vogue. I tend to associate it with Jewish people... and we don’t have many Jewish people in Europe anymore... because of the... trouble. So, no, I’m not.
& Coach Jackson: How many fucking times do I have to tell you? You’re black, they’re white, this ain’t hockey!
Anthony: Guys, I think what Coach is trying to say is that the key word is “teamwork.”
Coach Jackson: No, the key word is “you’re black, they’re white”!
Moses: So, Coach, what you’re saying is, if we just walk with the Lord...
Coach Jackson: The Lord? Nigger, the Lord done did his part already! He made you black. He made them white. He gave you a foot-and-a-half dick! Dribble with that motherfucker! As long as y’all are out there on the floor... you’re going to score more points than them. That’s just how basketball works!
--
+ quotes on the IMDb
Σ Well pranked. From the heart. And... Incredible disgusting.
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