Short Cuts

Howard Finnigan: Hey Jer, how goes the war?
Jerry Kaiser: Bad guys are winning, sir.

Gene Shepard: I'm gonna let you go with a warning this time, ma'am. You were driving too slow. Just as dangerous as driving too fast. Please refrain from doing so in the future.
Claire Kane: Can I go now?
Gene Shepard: No, ma'am. I have one more question...
Claire Kane: What's that?
Gene Shepard: How many clowns can you fit in this car?
Claire Kane: I beg your pardon?
Gene Shepard: How many clowns can you fit in this car, ma'am?
Claire Kane: Why'd you take my phone number?
Gene Shepard: Well, you never know when you might need the services of a clown, ma'am.
Claire Kane: You have children?
Gene Shepard: No, ma'am. I, uh... I can use some cheering up from time to time myself, ma'am. Being a cop isn't easy.

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Honey Bush: Look at these fish, though. Aren't those cool?
Lois Kaiser: Yeah, you know I don't really give a fuck about fish. They just kinda swim, eat and shit.

Aubrey Bell: I have something here for Mrs. Weathers. She won something. Is Mrs. Weathers home?
Stormy Weathers: Oh, she's not at home. What did she win?
Aubrey Bell: I'll have to show you. May I come in?
Stormy Weathers: I'm kind of busy right now. Tell me what it is.
Aubrey Bell: She won a free vacuuming and carpet shampoo, no strings attached. I'll even do your mattress. You'd be surprised what could build up under a mattress over the months, over the years. Same with the pillows.
Stormy Weathers: Really?
Aubrey Bell: Yes, sir. This is your lucky day... Well, I can see you've had some kind of problem here. That doesn't affect my work any. I've seen about everything there is to see.

Tess Trainer: I hate L.A. All they do is snort coke and talk.

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