A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

Young Sheldon 1×5

Sheldon: In Texas, the Holy Trinity is God, football and barbeque... not necessarily in that order.

Young Sheldon: When the Aggies give up the ball on their own five-yard line, the opposing team has a 92% chance of scoring. When they punt from deep in their own territory, the other team still has a 77% chance of scoring. But since they convert on fourth down 50% of the time, the math says they should never punt again.
Meemaw: Okay, you can tell me, who's his real daddy?

Georgie: Everybody knows you punt on fourth down.
Young Sheldon: Why does everybody knowing something make it right?
Georgie: Because... That's what makes this country great.
Sheldon: Many years later, my brother would use this same argument in front of a judge. He was still convicted for urinating in a phone booth.

Meemaw: Can I ask you a favor?
Young Sheldon: Sure. What?
Meemaw: You know those statistics that you were talking about with your dad? Could... could that be applied to, say, who might win the Cowboys-Packers game next week? And, more specifically, by how much?

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Young Sheldon: I was touched 82 times this afternoon.
Tam: What do you mean, "touched"?
Young Sheldon: Not inappropriately. Joyfully. Affectionately. A cheerleader hugged me to her bosom.

Young Sheldon: No more high fives. I can't keep washing my hands.

Young Sheldon: I don't need a calculator, Dad. I am one.

Sheldon: ...I made a mistake on a math test. In my exhaustion, I did all the calculations in my head, and, like a common zoo animal, forgot to show my work.

Young Sheldon: A B-plus... that's the beginning of the end.
Tam: The end of what?
Young Sheldon: My life. If I don't make some changes, who knows how far I'll fall. I could wind up a drug addict, or a lawyer.

Meemaw: Will you take a down payment in quarters?

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