Wilfred 2x12

Resentment

“Resentment is like taking poison and
waiting for the other person to die.”
Malachy McCourt

& Wilfred: Being happy is just like being gay... it’s a choice... That’s why they mean the same thing.

& Drew: Did you ever wonder what it would be like... if Wilfred could talk?

& Drew: No, no, you hold onto it. You’re a ring bearer now, bro.
{ Bazinga!! }

& Wilfred: Wait a minute... Drew cheated on Jenna?!
    Ryan: She cheated on Drew!
    Wilfred: You shut your lying face vagina! Jenna wouldn’t cheat on anyone.

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& Ryan: You want to go outside to play? Maybe take that shit?
    Wilfred: Ryan, I just watched Jenna take it in the hands from every guy in the neighborhood. I ain’t going anywhere.
    Ryan: She pet a few dogs! So what? I’ve seen you get petted by hundreds of people.
    Wilfred: It’s different, I’m a dude! Plus, did you see those guys? I mean, Tucker I can kind of understand. He featured on a clever greeting card. But Jellybeans?.. His mother is his sister! I’m gonna be sick.

& Wilfred: Look at them... So happy together.
    Ryan: I hope I can be lucky enough to have something like that one day.
    Wilfred: That’s up to you, mate.

& Ryan: I guess I’d want it to be when I’m really old, surrounded by my family. I’d close my eyes, and... drift away. What about you?
    Wilfred: I was seeing it more like five or six years from now, after the fall of society, when robots rule the earth, and, like, the zoos have fallen apart so the animals are, like, viciously hunting people down. And this leopard finds you in this mud hole...
    Ryan: Finds me?
    Wilfred: Yeah, hiding from the robots who sodomized your sister. And the leopard, he just like bites your head off.
    Ryan: Wait, I thought we were talking about ways that we wanted to die.
    Wilfred: No, we... we’re talking about ways we want you to die... I don’t want to die.

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On the IMDb

Σ Wilfred's eating his own vomit? It was the gross. As he says: I'm gonna be sick.