& Professor Jericho: Dirk Gently and Richard...
Macduff: Richard MacDuff, partner.
Dirk: Assistant.
& Jericho: Shake hands with our new guests, Elaine.
Dirk: ... That is both amazing and frightening.
& Dirk: I have let you down before, Professor. If there was a God, which we, as men of science, surely cannot accept, I would swear to him that I will not fail you again.
& Macduff: What’d I miss?
Dirk: Only the creation of artificial life.
Macduff: Ooh.
& Jericho: Have you found her?
Dirk: Not exactly.
Jericho: Either you have or you haven’t.
Dirk: I would have thought a scientific mind such as your own would accept there is often a grey area in-between...
& Macduff: You don’t like my mum?
Susan: Richard, nobody likes your mother.
Macduff: Yeah, I suppose she is uniquely unlikable.
& Jane: I find you odd, but strangely alluring.
& Macduff: Suspicious. You don’t think he had anything to do with it, do you?
Dirk: People who are guilty of murder tend to be better at hiding their guilt.
Macduff: Well, he did something.
Dirk: The question is not so much what he did, but how it relates to everything else.
& Macduff: That’s a funny story. Not funny, ha-ha, obviously. But...
& Macduff: What if he’s the killer?
Dirk: Then we have him cornered.
Macduff: And that’s a good idea, is it? Corner a killer in a dark basement?
& Dirk: Where is David Cho?
Macduff: Are you some kind of industrial spy?
Noel: No, I’m not a spy! I’m an orc.
Macduff: As in a medieval creature from a fantasy novel? You’re going to have to do better than that.
& Macduff: So the robot’s still missing, Jericho is dead, and we’re on a ghost hunt. Brilliant!
Dirk: We’re not on a ghost hunt, Macduff. No such thing, a ghost.
Macduff: So we’re wandering up and down corridors. Even better.
& Macduff: What are you doing?
Dirk: It’s supposed to be a filing cabinet, but there are no files. When is a filing cabinet, not a filing cabinet?
Susan: This is bollocks.
Dirk: I actually prefer the term applied quantum mechanics.
& Susan: That’s disturbing on so many levels.
& Jane: So I know what holistic therapy is, and holistic education and holistic medicine, but what’s a holistic detective?
Dirk: Well, quantum mechanics suggests...
Jane: Everything is interconnected... Indeed, so... by following a causal thread, however tangential, you will ultimately and inevitably arrive at the solution to the crime.
Dirk: Right, if you already knew...
Jane: Sorry! I think faster than I can speak, so I’m always answering my own questions. It’s exhausting for me. It must be profoundly annoying for everyone else. It’s brilliant, by the way. A holistic detective agency. The whole thing. You. You’re brilliant.
& Fish & Chip Proprietor: That’s ₤29.30, please.
Jane: Oh, I don’t have any money.
Proprietor: What?!
Jane: I could write you an IOU. You taking the piss? What do you do in these situations?
Dirk: I believe the proprietor of a chip shop will have eaten far too many chips, thus hindering his athletic prowess.
Proprietor: What are you saying?
Dirk: In Layman’s terms, what I’m saying is... Run!
& Dirk: Coincidence can be a brutal thing.
& Dirk: In my experience, whilst it’s rarely acceptable for a man to surprise a woman with a kiss, men rarely raise objection when women do the same. As in the case in this instance.
& Jane: You think I’m a computer?
Dirk: Our brains are made up of synapses, that are either open or closed. Thoughts are just many ones and zeros. Consciousness itself is just... a stream of binary code. You’re not a computer. You’re something new, and very special.
& Susan: Are you really saying you’d choose Dirk over me?
Macduff: No. I’m saying I don’t want to HAVE to choose! I want you both you! Not in the same way, obviously!
& Dirk: So I suspect you will be wanting your old job back, Macduff?
Macduff: Two things. One, I never resigned. Two, I’m your partner, so I don’t need to ask you if I can come back.
Dirk: Apology accepted. You can resume your duties immediately. We’ll be requiring tea.
Macduff: OK, two things. One, I never apologized. Two... I’ll make you a cup of tea, but only because I want one too.
--
IMDb
Σ Dirk is not any holistic in this particular episode.
Macduff: Richard MacDuff, partner.
Dirk: Assistant.
& Jericho: Shake hands with our new guests, Elaine.
Dirk: ... That is both amazing and frightening.
& Dirk: I have let you down before, Professor. If there was a God, which we, as men of science, surely cannot accept, I would swear to him that I will not fail you again.
& Macduff: What’d I miss?
Dirk: Only the creation of artificial life.
Macduff: Ooh.
& Jericho: Have you found her?
Dirk: Not exactly.
Jericho: Either you have or you haven’t.
Dirk: I would have thought a scientific mind such as your own would accept there is often a grey area in-between...
& Macduff: You don’t like my mum?
Susan: Richard, nobody likes your mother.
Macduff: Yeah, I suppose she is uniquely unlikable.
& Jane: I find you odd, but strangely alluring.
& Macduff: Suspicious. You don’t think he had anything to do with it, do you?
Dirk: People who are guilty of murder tend to be better at hiding their guilt.
Macduff: Well, he did something.
Dirk: The question is not so much what he did, but how it relates to everything else.
& Macduff: That’s a funny story. Not funny, ha-ha, obviously. But...
& Macduff: What if he’s the killer?
Dirk: Then we have him cornered.
Macduff: And that’s a good idea, is it? Corner a killer in a dark basement?
& Dirk: Where is David Cho?
Macduff: Are you some kind of industrial spy?
Noel: No, I’m not a spy! I’m an orc.
Macduff: As in a medieval creature from a fantasy novel? You’re going to have to do better than that.
& Macduff: So the robot’s still missing, Jericho is dead, and we’re on a ghost hunt. Brilliant!
Dirk: We’re not on a ghost hunt, Macduff. No such thing, a ghost.
Macduff: So we’re wandering up and down corridors. Even better.
& Macduff: What are you doing?
Dirk: It’s supposed to be a filing cabinet, but there are no files. When is a filing cabinet, not a filing cabinet?
Susan: This is bollocks.
Dirk: I actually prefer the term applied quantum mechanics.
& Susan: That’s disturbing on so many levels.
& Jane: So I know what holistic therapy is, and holistic education and holistic medicine, but what’s a holistic detective?
Dirk: Well, quantum mechanics suggests...
Jane: Everything is interconnected... Indeed, so... by following a causal thread, however tangential, you will ultimately and inevitably arrive at the solution to the crime.
Dirk: Right, if you already knew...
Jane: Sorry! I think faster than I can speak, so I’m always answering my own questions. It’s exhausting for me. It must be profoundly annoying for everyone else. It’s brilliant, by the way. A holistic detective agency. The whole thing. You. You’re brilliant.
& Fish & Chip Proprietor: That’s ₤29.30, please.
Jane: Oh, I don’t have any money.
Proprietor: What?!
Jane: I could write you an IOU. You taking the piss? What do you do in these situations?
Dirk: I believe the proprietor of a chip shop will have eaten far too many chips, thus hindering his athletic prowess.
Proprietor: What are you saying?
Dirk: In Layman’s terms, what I’m saying is... Run!
& Dirk: Coincidence can be a brutal thing.
& Dirk: In my experience, whilst it’s rarely acceptable for a man to surprise a woman with a kiss, men rarely raise objection when women do the same. As in the case in this instance.
& Jane: You think I’m a computer?
Dirk: Our brains are made up of synapses, that are either open or closed. Thoughts are just many ones and zeros. Consciousness itself is just... a stream of binary code. You’re not a computer. You’re something new, and very special.
& Susan: Are you really saying you’d choose Dirk over me?
Macduff: No. I’m saying I don’t want to HAVE to choose! I want you both you! Not in the same way, obviously!
& Dirk: So I suspect you will be wanting your old job back, Macduff?
Macduff: Two things. One, I never resigned. Two, I’m your partner, so I don’t need to ask you if I can come back.
Dirk: Apology accepted. You can resume your duties immediately. We’ll be requiring tea.
Macduff: OK, two things. One, I never apologized. Two... I’ll make you a cup of tea, but only because I want one too.
--
IMDb
Σ Dirk is not any holistic in this particular episode.
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