& Mr. Khan: At this rate, I won’t get time for my three “shushes”.
Alia: What are they?
Mr. Khan: Shave, shower and...
Shazia: Dad!
Mr. Khan: Shampoo!
& Mr. Khan: Oh, look at this! Bloody paper complaining about immigration again.
Shazia: I don’t know why you buy that paper.
Mr. Khan: Because I agree with it! There’s too many bloody immigrants come in to this country.
Shazia: You’re an immigrant, Dad.
Mr. Khan: I’m not an immigrant, sweetie. I’ve been here 30 years! Immigrants are the Eastern Europeans, coming over here, taking our jobs. Jobs meant for us Pakistanis!
Shazia: Dad!
Mr. Khan: All right, British Pakistanis!
Amjad: So we are British, not Pakistani?
Mr. Khan: Look, we work hard, we go to mosque, we pray to Allah five times a day, how much more British can you get?!
& Mr. Khan: That’s not very Muslim, is it?
Dave: Sorry?
Mr. Khan: Well, this kind of discrimination, is not very Muslim.
Dave: I’m afraid I don’t follow.
Mr. Khan: Ah, well, you’re new to this game. What you have to remember, Dave, is that God, Muslim God, he’s a very nice fellow. He sees all men the same. Man with one leg, one arm... Those ones with the really big head... He doesn’t care. We’re all equal, you see?
Dave: Right.
Mr. Khan: So you giving a special parking space to disables is going against the teachings of Islam.
Dave: I don’t think that’s what I’m...
Mr. Khan: We’re all the same in God’s eyes, Dave. And if I have to park in the disabled space to prove it, then I will.
& Mr. Khan: Waleikum Asalaam, Mrs Malik. No Mr Malik?
Mrs Malik: Working.
Mr. Khan: Always working, huh? I think it’s more important to spend time with the people you love. I’m always telling Mrs Khan. To us, family is family. Her mother is my mother. Her children are my children.
& Mr. Khan: What do you mean, you’ve lost her? How can you lose an 80-year-old Pakistani woman?
Dave: I got confused. There are too many of them.
Mr. Khan: Careful, Dave. That sounds a bit racist.
Dave: I just meant they all look the same.
Mr. Khan: That’s better.
--
On the Imdb.
Alia: What are they?
Mr. Khan: Shave, shower and...
Shazia: Dad!
Mr. Khan: Shampoo!
& Mr. Khan: Oh, look at this! Bloody paper complaining about immigration again.
Shazia: I don’t know why you buy that paper.
Mr. Khan: Because I agree with it! There’s too many bloody immigrants come in to this country.
Shazia: You’re an immigrant, Dad.
Mr. Khan: I’m not an immigrant, sweetie. I’ve been here 30 years! Immigrants are the Eastern Europeans, coming over here, taking our jobs. Jobs meant for us Pakistanis!
Shazia: Dad!
Mr. Khan: All right, British Pakistanis!
Amjad: So we are British, not Pakistani?
Mr. Khan: Look, we work hard, we go to mosque, we pray to Allah five times a day, how much more British can you get?!
& Mr. Khan: That’s not very Muslim, is it?
Dave: Sorry?
Mr. Khan: Well, this kind of discrimination, is not very Muslim.
Dave: I’m afraid I don’t follow.
Mr. Khan: Ah, well, you’re new to this game. What you have to remember, Dave, is that God, Muslim God, he’s a very nice fellow. He sees all men the same. Man with one leg, one arm... Those ones with the really big head... He doesn’t care. We’re all equal, you see?
Dave: Right.
Mr. Khan: So you giving a special parking space to disables is going against the teachings of Islam.
Dave: I don’t think that’s what I’m...
Mr. Khan: We’re all the same in God’s eyes, Dave. And if I have to park in the disabled space to prove it, then I will.
& Mr. Khan: Waleikum Asalaam, Mrs Malik. No Mr Malik?
Mrs Malik: Working.
Mr. Khan: Always working, huh? I think it’s more important to spend time with the people you love. I’m always telling Mrs Khan. To us, family is family. Her mother is my mother. Her children are my children.
& Mr. Khan: What do you mean, you’ve lost her? How can you lose an 80-year-old Pakistani woman?
Dave: I got confused. There are too many of them.
Mr. Khan: Careful, Dave. That sounds a bit racist.
Dave: I just meant they all look the same.
Mr. Khan: That’s better.
--
On the Imdb.
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