Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Bridget Jones's Diary <<

& — Bridget Jones, what the fuck are you doing?
    Bridget: I... I can’t see anywhere soft to land.
    — How about on your arse?

& — Bridget, open the chute. ... Open it! ... Open your fucking parachute!

& Rebecca: Bridget Jones...
    Bridget: No, I’m Bridget Jones.

& Bridget: You are angry.
    Mark: I’m not, just disappointed.
    Bridget: Disappointed? Oh, God, that’s worse than angry.

& — Remember, we are trying to reduce your body size by 15 per cent. You hold the front, I’ll hold the back. One, two, three...

& Bridget: If you had asked me tonight, I’d have said no, anyway.
    Mark: Asked you what? Bridget! Asked you what?!

& Mark: I’ve actually been meaning to ask this for quite some time. I’ve just never really found the right way to put it. Darling Bridget... would you... like to go on a skiing mini-break?
    Bridget: .............. Yes!

& Mark: I’m going to go to the loo, then I’m going to come back. And then we’re going to be civilised.

& Bridget: Five weeks later. Weight: 4,000 pounds. Am enjoying a relationship with two men simultaneously. The first is called Ben, the other, Jerry. Number of current boyfriends: Zero. Number of calls from ex-boyfriend...
    — ’You have absolutely no messages. Not a single one. Not even from your mother.’

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& Bridget: I'm suicidally depressed.

& Daniel: God, I hope you’re wearing those giant panties. Please... Please be wearing the giant panties. Please... Oh, my old friends. Oh, Daddy’s home. Did you miss me? Because Daddy missed you. Yes, he did.

& Daniel: Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? Hmm?
    Bridget: Except Hitler.

& Bridget: Daniel, I really do think that you should go and fuck yourself. Or her. But definitely not me.

& Bridget: The way I look at it, in everyone’s life, there’s a certain amount of shit. In the last year, things have turned out pretty shitty. So logically, mathematically, even, it’s got to be time for something not shit.

& Daniel: Well, what are you gonna do now? Drown me in 16 inches of water?
    Mark: Yes, good idea.

& Daniel: You know what, mate? If you’re so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don’t you just marry her? ’Cause then she’d definitely shag me.

& Mum: So no hope there?
    Bridget: No hope there. Believe me, next time I will not fuck it up, Mum.
    Mum: Language, darling.
    Bridget: Sorry. Next time, I will not fuck it up... Mother.

& Bridget: He must still love me.
    Shazza: He fucking must.

& Bridget: I love you. I always have and I always will. Oh, um... I don’t love you, and I never have, and... I never will. Sorry.

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