Sarah Like Puny Alan
Jake: What is it?
Charlie: Just try it.
Jake: Hey, that’s good.
Charlie: Of course it is. It’s chicken in frumunda sauce.
Jake: Frumunda sauce?
Charlie: Yeah, from unda’ the toilet.
Jake: Get it, Dad?
Alan: Yeah, I get it. I got it 30 years ago, the first time he said it.
& Alan: Jake, if you’re done, you can go to your room and start your homework.
Jake: This is about sex, right?
Charlie: Kids today, huh? Doesn’t know frumunda sauce but gets why I need the house. I got a bunch of jokes you’re gonna love in a year or two...
& Rose: Poor Alan. Is Charlie taking good care of you?
Alan: Not really.
Rose: Would you like me to take care of you?
Alan: Not really.
& Rose: Do you feel the healing energy?
Alan: If I say yes, will you get off me?
& Charlie: Now we’re gonna get your father back on his feet.
Jake: How?
Charlie: Well, would you like to go see a bunch of naked boobs?
Jake: Sure!
Alan: Charlie! ...
Jake: ... This was a dirty trick, Uncle Charlie.
& Alan: I’m not going on a date, Charlie.
Charlie: You don’t know that. I didn’t start this day thinking we’d all be sitting bare-ass naked, but here we are.
& Jake: Hey, Dad, want to hear a funny joke?
Alan: Sure, why not?
Jake: Okay, there’s a priest, a minister, and a rabbit.
Charlie: It’s a rabbi, Jake.
Jake: Oh, yeah. Okay. A priest, a minister, and a rabbi... I forgot the rest.
& Jake: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Charlie: Wait. You know why they call this a European health spa?.. Because you’re a-peein’. He’s gonna kill at school tomorrow.
& Charlie: Don’t take it personally. But you chiropractor guys are just masseuses without the happy endings, right?
Alan: You think I’m some kind of phony? That my profession is some kind of con?
Charlie: Well, let’s be honest. You only became a chiropractor because you couldn’t get into medical school.
Alan: I got into medical school! I just didn’t want to spend four years in Guadalajara.
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+ quotes on the Imdb.
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