Larry Crowne

& Larry Crowne: You zone the entire depot, every rack, before you punch out. It’s not just policy. It’s the right thing to do.

& Larry: You know, I think I know what this is about.
    Andrews: I don’t think you do.
    Cox: Crowne... There’s been a restructuring ordered throughout the UMart nation. Now, “restructuring” is their word. Ask me, it’s a pain in the tuchis. That’s right, isn’t it, tuchis, where you get kicked?
    Hurley: A Yiddish word, yeah.
    Andrews: Absolutely. It’s like the buttocks.
    Hurley:  Tuchis and buttocks, synonymous.
    Cox: Well, it hurts when you get kicked back there no matter what language you’re speaking.
    Larry: You bet.

& Cox: Larry, I’m sorry, but we’ve come to a parting of the ways, UMart and you.

& Frances: What sin did you commit to have a class at 8:00 a.m.?
    Mercedes: Earning a master’s in comparative political discourse in the plays of Shakespeare and Shaw. You?
    Frances: Well, I just started race-walking at the track. It was fun.
    Mercedes: I hope I am never like that.

& Mercedes: When was the last time you looked at your life and saw nothing but fraud?

& Mercedes: This is it? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. My day has just been made.

& Mercedes: My name is Miss Tainot, T-A-I-N-O-T, Tainot. Not “Tie-knot”. Tay-no.

& Steve: Miss Tie-knot? Uh, Tay-knot? Tae-Bo?
    Mercedes: Really? Who are you?
    Steve: Steve Dibiasi. D-I-B-I-A-S-I.

& Talia: I’ve been thinking about you and I don’t even know your name.
    Larry: Larry. Larry Crowne. Hi. This is, uh...
    Celestina: Lala.
    Larry: Lala.
    Talia: Larry and Lala. I don’t think so. I used to be Kathryn, until I looked in the mirror and saw a girl named Talia.
    Celestina: My real name is Celestina.
    Talia: Celestina? How gorgeous. You... Lance. Lance Corona. Wanna join my gang?

& Dean Tainot: I’m a guy who’s a guy being a guy!

& Mercedes: Next, please.
    Steve: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I got one now! You will dig it.
    Mercedes: Are you clairvoyant*?
    Steve: No. Steve Dibiasi.

& Dr. Matsutani: They call them “smart phones”, but only dummies use them in my class.

& Frank: You see this body here? One time, it was nothing but a mass of chiselled muscle and bone.
    Dell Gordo: Really? What year was that?
    Frank: 19-kiss-my-ass.

---

& Larry: What is going on out there?
    Talia: Just introducing you to a little thing called feng shui.

& Dell Gordo: What’s your real name, Lance?
    Larry: Larry Crowne, with an “E”.
    Dell Gordo: Dell Gordo, with a “G”. Shake hands... Look each other in the eyes... Firm grips. Larry: No contest, but firm. Hold it... Stack it.

& Larry: I am so sorry I’m late. Dr. Matsutani, can I still sit in?
    Dr. Matsutani: This is college, Mr. Crowne. There are only two things you can’t do, smoke in the building and use your phone in my class.

& Dean Tainot: I had four postings today alone! Fogcaster, Skyscan, Parsec12.com.
    Mercedes: They’re not postings, they’re comments. Comments! Like, “You’re lame” is a comment.
    Dean Tainot: And who are you to judge me, Boozilla?

& Mercedes: We’re going so slow a cat could knock us over, you know that, right?
    Larry: I’ve never given anyone a ride before! I wanna make sure we both survive! ... Pardon me?
    Mercedes: I said “ha, ha, ha”.

& Mercedes: I have 30 seconds to disarm the alarm or the cops will be here in half an hour. They’re slow.

& Steve: “Disraeli”? What is that?
    Mercedes: “Who” is that.
    Steve: Guy from Disrael. I’m done!

& Mercedes: You’re a great student. I’m not an easy A.

& Larry: Are you hungry?
    Mercedes: Extremely.
    Larry: Let me show you the world’s smallest kitchen.

--
clairvoyant — ясновидящий

+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ Hanks & Roberts add up to 6/10 in total? Seriously? O tempora o mores!..