House M.D. 8x6

Parents

& Chase: ’Round-the-clock or not, parenting’s an impossible job. No way not to mess it up.
    House: Makes sense. Park’s tiger mom and dad were so insufferable*, she has to measure their affection* in hours. Chase’s careerist dad and alcoholic mom were so indifferent, he has to believe it’s a wash*. Your turn. What did your screwed-up parents do to screw up your view of parenting?
    Adams: They were good parents.
    House: That’s an oxymoron. Chase is right. All parents screw up all children. He’s also dreamy, but it’s not relevant now.

& Patient in the clinic: I need Insulin.
    House: I know it. Much as I’d like to kill you by dangerously lowering your blood sugar, murder violates my parole.

& Taub: What are you doing with her?
    House: “Her”?! Surely this bundle of fun has an actual name.
    Taub: It’s Sophie.
    Chase: Both your kids are named...
    Taub: She’s Sophie. The other one’s Sophia. It different enough.

& House: It’s not my fault. Bad parenting.

& Adams: You’re a smart, successful doctor. How much damage could you have?
    Chase: Know how I got interested in medicine?.. When my mother drank, she couldn’t handle me, so she locked me in my father’s study. Only so many hours you can cry and bang on the door before you give up, find something to read. We all have family dysfunction. That’s why we’re successful. To fill that hole.

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& Park: This is how you plan to get to the boxing game? Why are you looking at her?
    House: ’Cause I’m stunned, and I have to look at something. Match, bout, fight, contest, day, Helena... Almost anything works after “boxing,” except the word “game.”

& Park: Do you only like tests that involve the risk of death?
    House: There are some slower, less conclusive tests, but why take that risk?

& Clinic Patient’s Wife: Could you write me a fake prescription for Insulin?
    House: The advantage of fake prescriptions is, you don’t have to be a real doctor to write one.
    Patient’s Wife: Just tell me what’s safe to inject in his thigh...
    House: Imaginary medicine is not my specialty. I do have an imaginary colleague who’s just sent me an imaginary page. Imagine how sorry I am.

& Wilson: So you’ll let him go?
    Foreman: No. I get why he wants to go to that fight. I’d love to go myself, which is kind of why I have to stop him. My job is to be the jerk. House has to believe that I have authority over him.
    Wilson: He can’t function under someone’s thumb.
    Foreman: I know, which means you can’t go either... Your job is to be his friend, to stay here and sit with him and watch the fight on pay-per-view while bitching about me. If we both do our jobs, we might actually get him through his parole.
    Wilson: ... You’re right!

& Taub: I didn’t tell him.
    House: Your heart said he needed to know. Your brain knew he’s better off without it. Following your heart is easy. Following your brain is tough. Especially after years of following that much smaller third organ. That’s why all parents screw up all children.

& House: Evening.
    Adams: Clever tactic, pretending you’re not interested anymore.
    House: How could that possibly work as a tactic? The fact is, once I saw those incompletes, I knew your parents screwed you up. The details are just gravy.
    Adams: You’re wrong. {...}

& House: Your parents screwed you up by not screwing you up.
    Adams: How does briefly wishing I was screwed up make me screwed up?
    House: It’s normal to be screwed up. It’s really screwed up to romanticize it. I guess that’s why you wanted to work with prisoners.
    Adams: It’s why I wanted to work with you.
    House: It was a tactic.

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insufferable — нестерпимый
affection — любовь
wash — трепотня

On Imdb.