Hung 1x2

Great Sausage or Can I Call You Dick?

& Drecker: As Yogi Berra used to say, when you come to a fork in the road, take it.

& Drecker: You’re not gonna eat anything? Sure you don’t want some of my sausage?
    Tanya: I don’t eat sausage. And I don’t like corporate chain restaurants.

& Drecker: What does this have to do with happiness?
    Tanya: “Happiness consultant” is a key component to our marketing plan. I might even call it the secret to our success. Now our goal is for women to see happiness but think great sex.

& Tanya: I know we might have to start with baby steps, but my goal is for us to be pulling down a couple thousand dollars a night.
    Drecker: You think I’m that good?
    Tanya: Maybe... if you work on your technique a little bit.
    Drecker: ’A little bit’... My technique is fine, Tanya. All right? I’ve been pleasing women for decades now. You’re not my only screamer.
    Tanya: I’m just saying that you might need a little training. In the foreplay department.

& Tanya: Remember how I told you I’m going into business? What I have is a service to offer. A service I think some of your clients might be very interested in.
    Lenore: What are you talking about? What kind of service?
    Tanya: It’s a combination of things. I’m hoping to make money and bring something positive into the world at the same time. Well, it’s a sexual service, actually.
    Lenore: You’re a prostitute?!
    Tanya: No, Lenore! I’m not a prostitute... I’m a pimp.
    Lenore: What?!

---

& Tanya: Seriously, Lenore, we are a high-end service and I’m willing to offer your clients a significant discount.
    Lenore: I don’t know, Tanya... I don’t recommend anything to my clients that I don’t know intimately myself. Get what I’m saying?

& Lenore: So he’ll do me for free?
    Tanya: We don’t really do that. But, Lenore, I would be willing to make it pay what you will. I’m sure you’ll be happy to pay. And with a discount, of course.
    Lenore: All right, I’ll try him. And if I like him I’ll recommend him. By the way, what does he do? Will he lick my ass?

& Jess: Are you mad that I fell in love with Ronnie?
    Damon: We’re not mad at you. We just want to eat ice cream.

& Drecker: I hate suits! I don’t wear this shit. I feel like a fricking mortgage broker.
    Tanya: You’re not you. You’re whoever they want you to be.
    Drecker: Why can’t they just fuck me for me?

& Tanya: By the way, what are your dos and don’ts? You know, what is the line that you won’t cross?
    Drecker: I’m a normal guy, you know? I’ll do normal things. Market me that way.
    Tanya: What’s normal?

Morcheeba — Everybody Loves A Loser

This time, you have to face your future
Although it’s just a dusty road
It’s clear that backing down don’t suit you
I’d hate, to break your sacred code
People, along for the ride
High noon, getting closer

I think you’ll find, everybody loves a loser
So you’ll be fine, you won’t be lonely long
I think you’ll find, everybody loves a loser
So you’ll be fine, you won’t be lonely long

& Drecker: I don’t really dance.
    Lenore: What do you do then?
    Drecker: ... You’re very pretty.
    Lenore: Who told you to say that? Listen, I’m not a romantic. I think like a man. I want to cut the bullshit and get to the fucking. I just need to know your name so I know what to scream when you’re banging me.
    Drecker: ... Richard.
    Lenore: Can I call you... Dick?

& Drecker: Tanya, you got to call me back. Right away. I’ve got to leave. I can’t find my shirt. I can’t find my underwear. I can’t find my wallet. I’ve got to be in class, there’s no friggin’ maid. And I think your friend might have stole my stuff.

& Rhonda: Is that a hickey on your neck?
    Drecker: Where am I gonna get a hickey from? I’m divorced.

& Tanya: Will you let it go and tell me how it was?
    Drecker: It was okay.
    Tanya: Okay? Can you use more adjectives?
    Drecker: Fine, it was exhausting, irritating, emasculating, never-ending and vaguely pleasant.

& Tanya: Oh my god, I hate this job. Let’s make $1 million, Ray.
    Drecker: Yeah, sure. I’m game.

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On Imdb.