Misfits 3x1

Episode #3.1

& Rudy-2: You hate me, you hate yourself!
    Rudy-1: Nobody loves themselves more than I do. I’d fuck myself in a heartbeat.

& — Where did you get them?
    Kelly: I drew them.
    — You? You honestly expect me to believe that? ... Get her out of here.
    Kelly: Take your hand off me, you prick! I’m a fucking rocket scientist!

& Rudy: Just fuck the fuck off.

& Rudy: This man just bottled me! Me face! Am I still... am I still gorgeous?

& Kelly: What are we going to do?
    Alisha: We don’t have to do anything. Keep our heads down and stay out of it. Cos that always works.
    Kelly: This is the kind of shit where we need that guy in the mask.
    Alisha: Why do we always get involved? Can’t we do normal stuff that normal people do, like... go for brunch?
    Kelly: What the fuck is brunch?

& Charlie: What happened?
    Rudy: Funny thing. You know how I said I was washing me cock? I slipped on the soap and impaled meself on some scissors! How mad’s that shit? Actually really fucking hurts, like.

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& Kelly: So is this like brunch? Cos it feels like I’m just eating a bacon sandwich?

& Rudy: So this girl he turns into... Would you?.. You know?.. Would you... fuck her?
    Simon: We’ve never seen her.
    Rudy: Oh. Oh. I’ve always wanted me own vagina. Not to keep. Cos I’ve heard they require a lot of maintenance. Upkeep, like cleaning, polishing, things like that.

& Rudy: You fuck with me, I’ll fuck you right back with a cherry on top.

& Rudy: Now, c’mon. Get in here. We have beers to drink, and anuses to violate.

& Rudy: Do you know what they used to call you? The Co... The Cockmonster.
    Alisha: Just leave it, yeah? Just fuck off.
    Simon: Why did they call you The Cockmonster?
    Curtis: You have to ask?

& Simon: We’ve all got a past. I’ve got two pasts. All that matters is us, here... now.

& Simon: Do you know what they used to call me at school...? The pussy meister.

& Rudy: Honestly, guys... I thought they’d let you off with a warning.

& Rudy: What you doing?
    Kelly: Designing a new propulsion system.
    Rudy: Why?!
    Kelly: Because I’m a fucking rocket scientist!

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On Imdb.