The Big Bang Theory 5x9

The Ornithophobia Diffusion

& Leonard: Do you think I’m overdressed?
    Sheldon: It depends on the activity. For a prostate exam, yes. If you’re playing Vegas, I’d add sequins*.

& Leonard: I’m going to the movies with Penny. I don’t want her to think that I think it’s a date.
    Sheldon: Do you think it’s a date?
    Leonard: No, but she might think I think it’s a date even though I don’t.
    Sheldon: Or you might think she thinks you think it’s a date even though she doesn’t.
    Leonard: Are we overthinking this?
    Sheldon: Sheldon: Not at all.

& Sheldon: This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I’m at 2311 North Robles Avenue. I’d like to report a dangerous wild animal. ... A blue jay. ... I’m sorry, this is Animal Control? I don’t understand the laughter. ... No, the bird is not in my home. If he was in my home, I obviously would have called 911.
        Sir, I have no doubt that there are things that you’re frightened of. Being stuck in a dead-end public service job... Or your wife stepping out on you because you’re stuck in a dead-end public service job... Or spiders.

& Leonard: Too casual?
    Sheldon: For an audience with the queen, yes. For an evening of paing a bottle of fortified wine around a flaming trash can, you look great.

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& Penny: Oh, hey, if we hurry, we can make the new Jennifer Aniston movie.
    Leonard: Oh, yeah, sure. There’s also an amazing documentary about building a dam on river in South America.
    Penny: Okay, but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston, and she’s not building a dam.
    Leonard: Can’t argue with that.

& Leonard: I hate those movies.
    Penny: No, you don’t.
    Leonard: Yes, I do. The only reason I went is because you wanted to see them, and I wanted to have sex. To this day, I can’t see a Sandra Bullock movie poster without getting both bored and aroused.

& Penny: Okay, so while we were going out, how often would you pretend to like things just to have sex with me?
    Leonard: All the time.

& Leonard: What if I start talking to a girl?
    Penny: You should!
    Leonard: I’m serious. I’ll do it.
    Penny: Good! Go! There are some girls right over there... What are you waiting for?
    Leonard: They’re in a group. I’m scared.

& Penny: While he was telling you things, did he mention he owns not one, but two Star Trek uniforms?
    Laura: Really?
    Penny: Yeah. Wears them. Not just for Halloween.
    Leonard: Hey, pal. You didn’t see me telling Kevin that you thought cold wars were only fought in winter!
    Penny: Okay. Then I’ll return the favor, and I won’t tell...
    Laura: Laura.
    Penny: ...Laura, that half the dirty movies you own are animated.
    Leonard: When you were telling Kevin about your acting career, did you mention your long-running role as “Waitress” in a local production of The Cheesecake Factory?
    Penny: Did you tell her about your lucky asthma inhaler?
    Leonard: Oh, yeah? Spell “asthma.”
    Penny: A-s... Take me home.

& Sheldon: If you were a dove, I’d call you Lovey-Dovey. Oh. Who am I kidding? This isn’t a moment for strict adherence to the literal. You’re just my little Lovey-Dovey, aren’t you?
    Amy: Guess you gotta have hollow bones to get some sugar around here.

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sequins — блестки

On Imdb.