The One Where Ross Can't Flirt

Friends 5×19

Rachel: Ha, ha, Ross, we broke up two years ago. You've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.

Ross: Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better, uh... I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Caitlin: What?!
Ross: Oh, I mean... No, no, no. The, uh... Your hair. Before. Your hair. You said you thought your hair looked like an 8-year-old boy's... and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.

Monica: Phoebe. I need those earrings. We're leaving when the show's over.
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you.
Monica: No, you didn't.
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't gave them back to you. That's what I said.

Monica: Okay, let me get this straight. It's okay for you to flirt, but not for me?
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up... Look, I'm sorry, but some things are different for men and women.
Monica: Go on, teach me about men and women.
Chandler: Okay. I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. When you flirt with a guy, you think, "No big deal." But the guy thinks, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me."
Monica: No way!
Chandler: It's true.
Monica: Well, that's pathetic.
Chandler: Again, true.
Monica: This goes for all guys?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep. All guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

Ross: Was I talking to her about gas?
Chandler: More so than anything else.
Phoebe: I found it interesting.

Rachel: I'm telling you, he's really sweet and really funny... and he's just, oh, got a good heart. And besides, I think he really likes you.
Caitlin: Really?
Rachel: Well, we have seven people and 10 pizzas. What do you think?
Caitlin: I thought Joey was there.

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