The One Where Rachel Smokes

Friends 5×18

Chandler: Hey, Rach, now that you working at Ralph Lauren, can you get me some shirts?
Rachel: Uh, well, you know what? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable stealing... on my very first day.
Monica: Unwilling to steal from work... Interesting.

Monica: You stink.
Rachel: Thanks.
Monica: No, I'm serious.
Rachel: That's because I went down there and they were smoking. This is actually the smell of success.

Monica: Oh, my God. You smoked!
Rachel: I did not.
Monica: Yes, you did. You look happy and sick. You smoked.
Rachel: All right, fine. But I had to. I had to do it for my career.
Chandler: I wish I had to smoke for my career...
Monica: That's so gross.
Rachel: Well, no, it's not that bad, you know? I mean, yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and my fingers sort of smell. I actually feel like I could throw up.

Phoebe: Look, look. Surprise!
Rachel: What? My birthday is not for another month!
Phoebe: That's the surprise.

Ross: Hey, you know what? Maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck. Maybe you messed up because you care more about your godson.
Joey: What do you mean?
Ross: I think, subconsciously...
Joey: Whoa, you lost me.
Ross: I think, on some level, you sabotaged... your own audition so Ben would get the part.
Joey: Well, your way sounds a lot better than mine. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that I'm a bad actor.

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