Family Dinner

Lucifer 5×9

Father: I don't care who's at fault. I just want my sons to get along. Regardless of what's happened, we're family. Let's act like it.

Father: Is that my grandson over there? Huh.

Linda: What just happened? And who are you?

Linda: Yep. You're really here... I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Father: You can poke all you want. Because I'm eternally grateful to you... for this beautiful grandson.

Linda: That's right. My angel baby is technically God's grandkid. Do you need a drink? Water? Wine? Is it all the same to you?

Father: Day-to-day isn't important, my son. This is important. Family's important.

Amenadiel: That's, um... that's what I wanted to talk to you about. About Charlie and, uh... Father, is he...
Father: Adorable? Yes, he is, my son. God's honest truth.

Father: Being here gives me an idea... I think I know just what this family needs.

Ella: Oh, way ahead of you. I know exactly how to find the killer. ... See, all you have to do is introduce me to all of the suspects. And whichever one I'm most attracted to, bam, that's your killer.

Father: Son. I don't wanna leave Earth until we've all talked.
Lucifer: Well, enjoy your eternity here, then, because there is absolutely no way I am sitting down for anything as absurd or torturous as a family dinner. I've already done my time in Hell. Remember?

Amenadiel: I know that Dad has been a bit careless in the past, distant.юю All right, he's been a real ass. But he's our father, Lucy.
Lucifer: Yes. Our almighty, all-powerful dad who will never admit to being anything other than perfect! Well, guess what, brother. He can kiss my imperfect, banished backside!

Linda: I find that, at family events, a couple of bottles help. To start.

Lucifer: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Aren't you forgetting something? Well, shouldn't we say grace?...
Linda: I'll say it?.. Okay. I'd like to thank God for... I'm used to you being up there. Thank you, God, for this food and the company, and... oceans and napkins and shoes and life--
Lucifer: Yeah, that about covers it, Doctor. Thank you. Amen.

Linda: Oh, my God! I mean, you. I mean... This is... this is delicious. Almost...
Father: Heavenly? All it takes is just the right amount of rosemary.

Michael: I know what you're trying to do, but I'm not gonna let you ruin this, Samael.
Lucifer: Very well, Mi-ka-el.
Michael: It's "Michael"!
Lucifer: Is it? I mean, we're twins, after all. Fairly certain Dad wanted them to rhyme. Dad?
Father: I did like the sound of that. Samael, Mi-ka-el. But you boys had other ideas.

Amenadiel: Lucy, come on.
Lucifer: No, don't worry, brother. We're all being tortured. All in the name of our father's mysterious ways.

Lucifer: Sure, I was king of Hell, but I was still in Hell. If that's not a poisoned chalice, I don't know what is.

Lucifer: And there it is. The Old Testament wrath. Wasn't sure you still had it in you.

Linda: Chicken... I get it. I get it. It's your favorite. That's... that's why everything tastes like chicken.

Amenadiel: Linda, we're sorry. That you had to witness something like this. The most dysfunctional family ever.
Linda: No. Actually, it's... it's wonderfully normal. Well, I mean, except for the rain. No, it's just... three sons who want their father's love. And who don't feel like they're getting it.

Lucifer: I mean, if all the apples are bad... maybe it's the tree that's the problem.

Lucifer: I would like to ... ask you one simple question and get one simple answer. A confession, if you will.
Father: Dad, you don't have to do this--
Michael: What's your question, Samael?
Lucifer: Dad... do you love us?
Father: If I have to tell you... then I really have failed.

Father: You'd do anything for your son.
Amenadiel: Yes, anything!
Father: If only fatherhood was ever that easy...

Lucifer: I've realized that... I am my father's son.

Lucifer: Chloe, I am so sorry. But if I ever said those three words to you... it would be a lie.

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