A Rickconvenient Mort

Rick and Morty 5x3

Diesel Weasel: My acid rain will destroy all things green and natural or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.

Morty: Are you crazy, Rick? She's right there!
Rick: Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty. It's 8% of the Earth. We'll need every atom.
Planetina: Thanks! Every litter-bit helps!

Planetina: You're not an idiot. You recycled.

Morty: Uhh, y-y-you like soft serve? There's a shop around the bend.
Planetina: Oh, I don't eat ice cream. Veal is a product of the dairy industry.

Planetina: I know a place that serves cruelty-free doughnuts. If you'd like, I could fly you and your friend there easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.

Planetina: The Earth is in danger! Pollution and waste are ruining our planet. Mother Nature has enlisted the help of four young adults from each major ethnicity -- and when things look bad, and I mean really bad -- they combine the powers of their elemental rings to create me! Planetina, conservationist super person! There's only one solution... for Earth's pollution -- you!

Rick: What if I told you that your Grandpa Rick's got something up his sleeve that's so Rick-diculous that it's gonna make you forget all about that stupid asshole that dumped you?

Jerry: Um, Summer? I-I-I haven't given you my approval yet... Summer, approval is yet to be given here!

Summer: My heart is broken, and I deserve to let loose, and if you don't like it, you can suck my bigger [bleep]. Adios, C-words.

Beth: Morty, I don't want you getting hurt. Please, think this over.
Morty: I don't want to think! I want to see a girl I like. If you don't want to help me, I'll find my own goddamn way to the wildfire.

Water: Tina, girl, have you gained weight?
Planetina: Uh, well, I had a plant-based doughnut yesterday. Just a half.
Air: Sugar is worst thing for figure, darling. You want to be ugly?
Morty: Heh, I-I thought they'd be younger.
Planetina: They've been manifesting me since the mid-'90s. A lot has changed since then. This is freaking you out, huh?

Rick: All right, time to set the rules.
Summer: Lay it on me.
Rick: No whining.
Summer: Done.
Rick: No crying.
Summer: As if.
Rick: And absolutely, positively no getting attached. We're here to smash max ass -- quantity over quality. Deal?

Beth: My son is 14, miss! I'm sorry, Morty. You're way too young.
Morty: But y-y-y-you were a teenager when Dad got you pregnant.
Beth: I was 17! That's at least 26 in boy years.

Planetina: Get out! All of you, get out of there! You're killing the planet!
Miner: Your people didn't get the votes. Leave, or I'll have you arrested.
Planetina: It's you people who should be arrested. Gutting the land, poisoning the air your children breathe?! Can't you see what you're doing?!
Miner: Easy for you to say! You can live how you want! We need the jobs. Let's go, boys... She can't stop us.
Morty: W-We'll get them next time.
Planetina: There's no time left! Can't you hear the Earth screaming? You filthy murderers! There's only one solution for Earth's pollution!...

Ferkus 9-ian: Hey, she's the one that saved the world! Now we got to go to work tomorrow!

Rick: I have to admit, it was pretty Rick of you to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism just to destroy one dumb relationship.

Morty: You murdered 300 people. .... Th-Those miners were innocent.
Planetina: Those innocent miners voted men into power to protect their precious jobs so they can buy more plastic garbage and eat the corpses of tortured animals. The system is broken, Morty. Morty: This is the only way I can save Earth, the only way I can save you.
Morty: If that's the only way, I-I don't want to be saved.

Planetina: I'll go, but don't you dare ask me to understand.

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