The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990)

Peter Fallow: ... For now, indulge yourself in the extravagance of the moment, and remember, if you will, a phrase from another little best-seller... "For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?"

Sherman McCoy: Calm, cool, collated. Let's not lose our composure over a few hundred million dollars.
Rawlie: Jesus Christ, Sherman, you must be made of ice!
Sherman McCoy: Just remember, Rawlie, a frantic salesman is a dead one.

Maria Ruskin: Sherman, where are we?
Sherman McCoy: The Bronx.
Maria Ruskin: What does that mean?
Sherman McCoy: It means we're north of Manhattan.

Reverend Bacon: Gentlemen... I want you to make an investment here. An investment in steam control.
Jed Kramer: Steam control?
Reverend Bacon: That's right. Steam control. Because a righteous steam is building up in the souls of my people. And that steam is ready to blow!.. Now! On Judgment Day, I am your safety valve. Because when it blows, and it will, my friend... Oh! How grateful you will be that I am on your side. Yes, sir! The one nigger who can control the steam and save your lily white ass from being burned off the face of the earth. So to speak.

Judy McCoy: Darling, Daddy doesn't build roads or hospitals or anything, really. Daddy just handles bonds for the people who raise the money.
Campbell McCoy: That's what he said, bonds.
Judy McCoy: Yes. Now... Just imagine that a bond is a slice of cake. Now, you didn't bake that cake. But every time you hand a slice of that cake to somebody else, a little piece comes off. Little crumbs fall off... And you are allowed to keep those crumbs. ....and that's what Daddy does. Daddy passes somebody else's cake around and picks up all of the crumbs. But you have to imagine a lot of crumbs, and a great big golden cake, and a lot of golden little crumbs. And you have to imagine Daddy running around picking up every little golden crumb he can get his hands on. And that's what Daddy does.
Sherman McCoy: Well, you can call them crumbs if you want to...
Judy McCoy: I'm doing the best I can!

Sir Gerald Moore: I was at dinner last evening, and halfway through the pudding, this four-year-old child came alone, dragging a little toy cart. And on the cart was a fresh turd. Her own, I suppose. The parents just shook their heads and smiled. I've made a big investment in you, Peter. Time and money, and it's not working. Now, I could just shake my head and smile. But in my house, when a turd appears, we throw it out. We dispose of it. We flush it away. We don't put it on the table and call it caviar.

Peter Fallow: He was a student of yours at Ruppert High. In your English class.
Ed Rifkin: He was? What's he done?
Peter Fallow: He hasn't done anything. He's been seriously injured. I'm a reporter, I work for a newspaper.
Ed Rifkin: Well, I don't remember him.
Peter Fallow: I'm trying to find what kind of student he was?
Ed Rifkin: If I don't remember him, I guess he was okay.
Peter Fallow: You say he was a good student?
Ed Rifkin: Good doesn't really apply at Ruppert High. They're either cooperative or life-threatening.
Peter Fallow: Well they say he was going to college.
Ed Rifkin: You mean City College. That... they got to open admission policies so if you live in the city, graduate high school, and still breathing, they're gonna take you.
Peter Fallow: What can you tell me about his performance in class? Any aptitude, special skills?
Ed Rifkin: ... Mr. Fallow, I got 65 students in every class.
Peter Fallow: Tests, homework, any written work he might have turn now?
Ed Rifkin: Shit, there hasn't been any written work at Ruppert High since 15, maybe 20 years. Peter Fallow: Really? And how the hell you keep track of these kids? I mean, Jesus Christ, there must be some record of how this boy measures up to the other students at class.
Ed Rifkin: You're thinking about honor students and grades.
Peter Fallow: Attendance records. Grades. Yeah.
Ed Rifkin: High achievements. We don't make those kind of comparisons. We just try to keep them off the streets. At Ruppert High, an honor student is somebody who comes to class and doesn't piss on the teacher.
Peter Fallow: Well, by that standard then, would you say Henry Lamb was an honor student?
Ed Rifkin: Well, uh, he never pissed on me.

Peter Fallow: Look, Reverend... You think we might be making a mountain out of a molehill here? I mean, honestly, these people--
Reverend Bacon: Honesty has nothing to do with this, Mr. Fallow. This is show business. I've never known the two to go hand in hand.
Peter Fallow: Well, neither have I. And I'm supposed to be some kind of a journalist up here.
Reverend Bacon: No, you're supposed to be a drunk. That's what I've been told. And you're almost out of a job, aren't you? Or am I misinformed?

D.A. Abe Weiss: Yesterday, I was a respected Jewish liberal. 10 minutes of news like this, and, all of a sudden, I'm a hymie racist pig? The Italians are gonna love this. The Irish too. And the WASPs. They love this shit more than anybody. They love laughing at me. All the rich sons of bitches. They still think they own this town. They sit in their co-ops, Park Avenue, 5th, Beekman Place, snug like a bug. 12-foot ceilings, one wing for them, one for the help. They think money is gonna protect them. You stupid sons of bitches! I'd like to light a fire under all their white lily asses. Let them see what this feels like. Let the whole Third World see the smoke and come after them! Let them feel what it's like when every Puerto Rican, West Indian, Cuban, Korean, Albanian, Filipino, black man from every corner of every borough... They don't think the future knows how to cross a bridge! You laugh! You laugh!

D.A. Abe Weiss: All right! Here's what we're gonna do! We're gonna turn this thing around, if it kills us! We're gonna prove to these black motherfuckers... Pardon my language, Howard. We're gonna prove to these niggers that this administration loves them! No matter what it takes! I am no racist hymie. By November, they are gonna be thinking of me as... the first black District Attorney of Bronx County. Huh?
Jed Kramer: Yeah.
D.A. Abe Weiss: They're gonna beg me to be mayor.
Jed Kramer: Absolutely!
D.A. Abe Weiss: We're gonna walk away with that election!
Jed Kramer: No question!
D.A. Abe Weiss: That's what we're gonna do!
Jed Kramer: Yes!
D.A. Abe Weiss: If we have to screw every white asshole from Albany to Park Avenue, that's what we're gonna do!

Sherman McCoy: Everyone is calling me by my first name, like they know me, like they own me. The lawyers, and the police, and the newspapers. How did I get to be so important?
Peter Fallow: You're not important. You're just dinner. Don't you get it? A week from now, a month from now, these aren't even gonna remember what they ate.

Reverend Bacon: Annie! Annie, I know nothing can heal the wound that you've suffered. But $10 million in damages will certainly make your grief more comfortable.
Annie Lamb: Well... I could use a few things. I feel that the presentation of my person should be carefully designed. I think I should have the right wardrobe. So, if you could have Mr. Fox's limousine pick me up tomorrow morning, I could do some shopping.
Albert Fox: ... Certainly.

Peter Fallow: I printed the story they wanted. Why not? If you're going to work in a whorehouse, there's only one thing to be. The best whore in the house.

Reverend Bacon: Justice? Justice? You call that justice? That's not justice, you racist pig!

Judge Leonard White: Racist? You dare call me racist? Well I say unto you, what does it matter the color of a man's skin if witnesses perjure themselves. If a prosecutor enlists the perjurers. When a district attorney throws a man to the mob for political gain, and men of the cloth, men of God, take the prime cuts? Is that justice?

Judge Leonard White: Let me tell you what justice is. Justice is the law, and the law is man's feeble attempt to set down the principles of decency. Decency! And decency is not a deal. It isn't an angle, or a contract, or a hustle! Decency... decency is what your grandmother taught you. It's in your bones! Now you go home. Go home and be decent people. Be decent.

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