Chapter 19. And It's Getting More and More Absurd

The Kominsky Method 3×3

Roz: Please. He's a 75-year-old man. The only running he does is to the toilet.

Mindy Kominsky: I'm sorry, Dad, but Martin is more important to me than money.
Sandy Kominsky: He won't be if you give it a little time.

Margaret: How's it going with your daughter moving back in?
Quincy: My child.
Margaret: Sorry. Your child.
Quincy: Well, you know, it's hard work, but I love being a grand zaza.
Margaret: Being a what?
Quincy: Grand zaza. "Grandpa" is too gender-specific.
Margaret: Oh, right. Sure.
Quincy: Bad news is I'm not getting any help from Kelly.
Margaret: What's going on with her?
Quincy: Them.
Margaret: Sorry. Them.
Quincy: Yesterday was Jackie's first day of kindergarten. Kelly insists that Ze present as andro. Jackie has a meltdown because Ze wants to present as Buzz Lightyear.
Margaret: Ze is he?
Quincy: And she. While Kelly is the dictionary definition of "unfluid."
Margaret: That's in the dictionary?
Quincy: So Ze tells Jackie that Buzz is bi-gender.
Margaret: Is that true?
Quincy: Course not. Buzz is totally cisgender. Gynosexual at the very least.
Margaret: At the least...

Quincy: Thirty-two caliber. What do you think?
Margaret: Full metal jacket, steel core, armor-piercing.
Quincy: Went through that car door like an incontinent Republican in a gender-neutral bathroom.

Morgan Freeman: Were you able to follow the dialogue?
Sandy Kominsky: I wanna say yes, but, uh...
Morgan Freeman: No. I get it. I keep trying to tell these writers, "Don't assume the audience is going to understand this stuff." But they... And when I say "they," I mean "they." They insist that's how the character would speak.
Sandy Kominsky: Writers...
Morgan Freeman: Fuckin' bullies.

Sandy Kominsky: I didn't think, uh, that this needed to be said, but apparently, it does. What we do and what I teach is an art form. It's not a competition. It's a, uh... a group effort. A communal expression of what it means to be human. So... you know, when one of us falls, we pick them up. And when one of us achieves fame and fortune, whether it be through lucky breaks or plain old hard work or both, we put aside jealousy and envy and joyfully celebrate their success. And in so doing, we open up our hearts and create a channel for success to come to us. Understood?

Morgan Freeman: Are you working on anything that I might be able to help with?
Sandy Kominsky: Uh, maybe you could encourage the kids to be more supportive of each other. You know, talk about how acting is a team sport...
Morgan Freeman: Right. You came up in New York, didn't you?
Sandy Kominsky: Yeah.
Morgan Freeman: I... I... I thought so. Well, no worries, I can sell that bullshit all day long.

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