Two and a Half Men 3x7

Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

& Rose: Now, it’s time for the party games.
    Charlie: I got one. It’s called “Drink Until This Night Makes Some Sort of Sense.” I’ll go first. ... Nope, not yet. Round Two...

& Charlie: Not that I’m anxious for you to leave. But it’s great that you’re gonna spend some time with your dad. Dads are great. I like the word “dad” better than “father.” You know, if Hitler had called Germany the Dadland instead of the Fatherland, I bet it would’ve been a much friendlier country.

& Charlie: Oh, God, it’s worse than I thought.
    Alan: What are you talking about? She sounded perfectly fine with everything.
    Charlie: Berta, tell him.
    Berta: She’s nuts. He’s screwed.

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& Alan: No. He’s not gonna marry Rose.
    Jake: Why not? He’s already getting sex from her.
    Charlie: Jake, Jake... the only reason Rose was in my bed is because she was too tired to go home.
    Jake: Uncle Charlie, I’m an underachiever, not an idiot.

& Charlie: Okay, fine. You want the truth?
    Alan: Charlie, please be discreet!
    Charlie: Just because a man and woman have sex doesn’t mean they have to get married. It doesn’t mean they have to see each other again. It doesn’t even mean they have to give their actual names.
    Alan: Thank you for your discretion.

& Evelyn: Are you as proud of yours as I am of mine?
    Harvey: Well, you know, you do the best you can to raise them, but, in the end, they drive down life’s highway on their own. Isn’t that the truth.
    Evelyn: I think God gives us children so death won’t come as such a disappointment.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.