Hung 3x2

Take the Cake or Are You Packing?

& Ray: It was gonna be an easy night.

& Tanya: Ray, women like to be fought over. I mean sometimes they’ll have sex with the guy that seems to want them the most. It’s a biological imperative.
    Ray: Thank you, Darwin.

& Tanya: You don’t listen to me. You have to listen to me.
    Ray: Since when?
    Tanya: Ray, every ship has a captain. And I’m the pimp.

& Ray: Cut the crap, Tanya. I have a problem with you saying that you’re the captain, okay, when we’re ... partners.
    Tanya: Well, we’re partners but, Ray, but... I mean, I call the shots.

& Ray: Oh, no, no cuffs. No! No cuffs. Suddenly every woman in my life wanted to be on top.

& Jessica: You know what? Ray is not the cake. We are not together. And last I checked, you were the one getting jerked off in the back of a car, not me.
    Ronnie: I... didn’t... come.
    Jessica: Fuck you. Fuck your fucking check.

& Jason: Saturdays are no good.
    Lenore: What are you talking about? Every Saturday?
    Jason: Yeah, kind of. And every other Wednesday is our alone time.
    Lenore: Who, you and your dick?
    Jason: No, me and Sandee.
    Lenore: Who the fuck is Sandee?
    Jason: My fiancée... Oh, I’m kind of engaged.
{ And who’s the Sandee? Oh, yeah! Analeigh Tipton known from a Crazy, Stupid, Love. }

& Tanya: I have a plan. I have a plan. It’s the broken window theory. If you have a house and there’s a broken window and you don’t fix it right away then you get a lot more broken windows. And you also get, like, graffiti all over your house.
    Ray: That’s your plan?

---

& Sandee: And what would you like your cake to say?
    Lenore: “I... fucked... your... boyfriend.”
    Sandee: ... That’s what you want the cake to say?
    Lenore: Yes.
    Sandee: I think that the company might have some sort of policy against using swear words.
    Lenore: Oh. “Screwed” is fine.
    Sandee: Yeah?
    Lenore: Yeah.
    Sandee: And is this for pickup or delivery?
    Lenore: Delivery. What’s your address?
    Sandee: I li— excuse me?
    Lenore: Where do you live?
    Sandee: I live at 323 North Deerfield Road, Apartment 5.
    Lenore: Great, put 323 North Deerfield Road, Apartment 5.
    Sandee: That’s where I live!
    Lenore: Yes. The cake’s for you.

& Lotte: It’s not heart attack. It’s chicken wings.
    Ray: What kind of pain is it, Lottie?
    Lotte: It’s chicken wing type of pain.

& Tanya: I’m Tanya. Does that name mean anything to you?
    Jason: Uh, I have a cousin named Tanya.
    Tanya: Yeah. Is your cousin a pimp?

& Jason: I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?

& Ray: You went behind my back when I specifically said I want to deal with the guy and you fucked him?
    Tanya: Um...
    Ray: That’s you being the captain?
    Tanya: Look, what I did is I made a calculated business decision for the two of us.

& Ray: I can’t believe you slept with that guy. He’s like 12.
    Tanya: He is not. He’s at least 20-something.

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On the Imdb.