House of Lies 1x3

Microphallus

& Marty: What are you doing out of your retired shrink costume?
    Jeremiah: Having a meeting with Evelyn Danton from my book club for coffee... Man, that woman can do more in bed than any post-menopausal woman has any right to be able to do.
    Marty: There goes the appetite.

& Roscoe: Hey, dad. What do you do if you like a girl and you like a boy?
    Marty: ... I don’t know, Roscoe. I don’t know.
    Roscoe: I’m open to whatever.

& Greg: ... You will be ours. I mean that... I mean that in a figurative sense. Let me put it this way... Um... I’m all about family. I mean, I personally don’t have a family anymore, so you, you all, will be my new family. We’re gonna work together and build a profitable/happy family. Familia!

& Greg: Hey, Marty. Can I talk to you for a minute?
    Marty: Sure, Greg. Let’s talk.
    Greg: So, look, buddy, look. I’m gonna... I’m gonna smash your head in, then I’m gonna personally fuck your bashed-in eye socket... Metaphorically.
    Marty: Well, as long as it’s metaphorically...

---

& Marty: There’s a couple warring factions we need to keep our eye out on, okay? The CEO who believes that his Apache Enterprise Resource Planning Initiative... He believes it is, “a”, the next wave in business process reengineering while the CFO believes it is, “b”, a ridiculous and masturbatory money suck. Hint: It’s probably not “a”.
    Doug: Easy. We throw every model we can think of at it, and we see which one performs.
    Jeannie: Ooh, that would be a really good idea if it were up and running. Dumb shit.
    Marty: It’s very cute the way you’re all sort of learning at your own pace, but none of this shit matters, okay? The only thing that we need to figure out is what makes them think they can’t live without us for the next three years while we infect the host and bleed them dry.

& Marty: It’s all about leverage. I leverage the way people perceive me.

& Ginelle Winter: This is the accommodation that has been made.
    Marty: What do you mean, “accommodation”?
    Ginelle: Because of Spalding’s handicap.
    Marty: Your husband has a handicap?
    Ginelle: His... his microphallus.
    Marty: I’m sorry, it sounded like you said microphallus.
    Ginelle: His microphallus. His... his... his little man-clit. His teen-is. It’s like a teeny, tiny, little mushroom.

& Jeannie: What is that?! Yeah, that’s not gonna work for me.
    Spalding Winter: Really?
    Jeannie: ... Actually, um... Play on.

& Jeannie: So... Indiana.
    Marty: Yeah, Indiana.
    Jeannie: That was some weird shit. And my toes are all squishy*.
    Marty: What do you say... we just keep this one between us, all right?
    Jeannie: Yes! That’d be best!

& Jeannie: Unbe-fucking-lievable.

& Skip: You realize how long I’ve known you and you’ve never once invited me over here?
    Marty: Jesus Christ. Are you fucking serious? Skip, I have personally put about $100 million in your pocket, let alone what I’ve done for your company. This shit isn’t personal. All right? It’s not about us ever being friends here.
    Skip: It is to me. It’s personal. To me. And that’s kind of what matters now. Isn’t it?

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squishy — болотистый; топкий

On the Imdb.