Two and a Half Men 3x2

Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

& Malinkovich: Hey, Doc, how many more adjustments you think I’m going to need?
    Alan: Well, Mr. Malinkovich, let’s see... Um, my son won’t graduate college till 2015, so... a lot.

& Alan: I’ve had a really bad day! I had to cancel all my patients and close my office to go pick him up.
    Charlie: Wow, what a drag*. Hey, I got some new video games. You wanna play with me?
    Jake: Sure.
    Alan: Did you forget you’re being punished?
    Jake: No, but why does Uncle Charlie have to suffer?
    Alan: Go to your room!
    Jake: You know, in some countries you’re innocent until proven guilty.
    Alan: You confessed!
    Jake: Oh, yeah...
    Alan: And that country you’re thinking of is this one, genius!

---

& Alan: “I’ll be there for you.” “You can count on me.” My own fault! I’m just stupid and gullible*. And annoying, don’t forget annoying. ... You’re here.
    Charlie: You said 7:00, right?
    Alan: You got yourself up?
    Charlie: Didn’t have to.
    Alan: Why not?
    Charlie: Didn’t sleep.
    Alan: You haven’t been to bed?!
    Charlie: Not my bed.

& Berta: So what did the melonhead do?
    Alan: Oh, it’s a long story. Here. Worth a thousand words.

& Berta: So... You like making fun of girls with big boobs?
    Jake: ....... Not anymore.

--
drag — скучища; зануда
gullible — доверчивый

+ quotes on the Imdb.

__ Boring. Regardless of all the Boobra's.