Two and a Half Men 3x6

Hi, Mr. Horned One

& Jake: That’s a cool snake tattoo on your back.
    Isabella: Thanks. That’s Anacoth, the demon who eats human souls.
    Jake: My friend Jeffrey has a dog that eats his own poop. He tries to lick our face, but we don’t let him.

& Alan: Isabella, I hate to be a fuddy-duddy, but we try to keep the house smoke-free.
    Isabella: I’m sorry. Charlie didn’t say anything when I was smoking in bed last night.
    Alan: Yeah, well, Charlie’s lungs aren’t always on the same page as his penis.

& Charlie: Isabella’s taking me to a party. She said it’s going to be out of control. Can you imagine what this girl considers to be out of control?
    Alan: Well, let’s see... Uh, biting the head off a live chicken?.. Vivisecting homeless people and playing hacky-sack with their still-beating hearts?..

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& Alan: Morning.
    Berta: Morning. Great googly-mooglies! What the hell happened to you?
    Alan: I’m not sure.
    Berta: Looks like you got bit on the face by one of them ebola monkeys.
    Alan: I don’t think so Berta.
    Berta: I mean, you weren’t exactly eye candy going in, but... now, woof! You could scare the flies off a manure truck.
    Alan: Thank you. Until you said that, I was feeling a little self-conscious.

& Berta: Hey, Vampira... tell Count Humpula to get out of bed so I can change his sheets.

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+ quotes on the Imdb.

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