The Werewolf Transformation
& Leonard: What are you doing?
Sheldon: I’m trying to get the hair out of my eyes.
Leonard: Sheldon, you are one day late for your haircut.
Sheldon: Thank you for captioning my nightmare.
& Penny: You know, Sheldon, I used to cut my brother’s hair. I could do it for you.
Sheldon: Penny, I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but, um, here in town, we don’t churn our own butter, we don’t make dresses out of gunny sacks, and, uh, we sure as shootin’ don’t get our hair cut by bottle-blonde...
Leonard: Sheldon, be nice.
Sheldon: I’m sorry, it’s the bad boy attitude that comes with this hair.
& Howard: Quick question here: Have we actually changed the conversation from “I’m going to astronaut training” to “Sheldon can’t get a haircut”?
& Amy: Sheldon, you’re ruining girlfriend-boyfriend sing-along night.
Sheldon: I’m sorry. I’m looking for a barber and I’m running out of time. My hair is growing at the rate of 4.6 yoctometers per femtosecond.
& Penny: What about Supercuts?
Sheldon: I tried once. They do men’s and women’s hair in the same room at the same time. It’s like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse.
& Howard: Oh, could you do me a favor and overnight me some more underwear?
Bernadette: Sure, why?
Howard: I got a look at the centrifuge they’re going to spin me around in tomorrow, and I have a hunch I packed a little light.
& Penny: So... if I move my horsey here... isn’t that checkmate and I win?
Leonard: ......... Hmm.
Penny: Well, is it or isn’t it?
& Leonard: You know, I think this is a good stopping point. Uh, it’s your first real game. I threw a lot of information at you.
Penny: Well, no. I mean, your king is trapped. He can’t go here because of my lighthouse, and... he can’t go here because of my pointy-head guy.
Leonard: Like I said, complicated game.
& Penny: So did I win or not?
Leonard: Did you have fun? Because if you had fun, then you are, you are a winner. That’s, that-that’s what chess is all about.
& Penny: Sorry, Sheldon, I’ll move.
Sheldon: Eh, why? My spot, your spot... what difference does it make?
Penny: ........ Okay, what just happened?
Leonard: I don’t know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer and Sheldon being okay with you in his spot, I’m guessing someone went back in time, stepped on a bug, and changed the course of human events.
& Penny: Uh, sweetie, are you all right?
Sheldon: No, I’m not all right. It’s been six days since I was supposed to get a haircut and nothing horrible has happened.
Penny: Okay, I’m sorry, I don’t understand.
Sheldon: Leonard, explain it to her.
Leonard: Oh, uh, he’s crazy.
& Sheldon: I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day. But all my efforts... our dinner schedule, my pajama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet... it’s clear now, I’ve been wasting my time.
& Penny: You know, Sh-Sheldon, sometimes it’s nice not knowing what’s coming. I mean, look at me and Leonard. We went out, we broke up, now we’re trying again. We don’t know what’s gonna happen.
Sheldon: Oh, please, everyone knows what’s going to happen.
& Sheldon: You’re right. I should embrace the chaos.
Leonard: Great. What are you going to do first?
Sheldon: I don’t know. I could do anything. All bets are off. The world is my oyster. I got it. I’m going to put on my Tuesday pajamas tonight.
& Leonard: I got to tell you, I’m a little worried about him.
Penny: If I were you, I’d be worried that a girl who’s never played chess in her life just kicked your ass.
& Bernadette: Do you sleep in tents?
Howard: No. I slept in a hole... I dug in the ground with my bare hands. And at some point during the night... an armadillo crawled in and spooned me.
& Bernadette: Are you crying?
Howard: No, I don’t think it’s possible. I’m severely dehydrated. My pee is like toothpaste.
& Bernadette: Well, is there anything I could do to help?
Howard: No. Wait. Send more underwear.
& Penny: What the hell?!
Leonard: Oh, hi, Penny, guess what? Sheldon got bongos.
Penny: Why did you get bongos?!!
Sheldon: Richard Feynman played the bongos. I thought I’d give that a try.
Leonard: Richard Feynman was a famous physicist.
Penny: Oh, Leonard, it’s 3:00 o’clock in the morning. I don’t care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun who lived in my butt!
& Penny: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Wherever the music takes me, kitten.
& Howard: What are you doing here?
Bernadette: I’m here to help you get through this. You can’t do it on your own, you need someone to take care of you.
Howard: Oh, I love you so much.
Bernadette: Oh, I love you.
Mrs. Wolowitz: HOWARD, YOUR BATH IS GETTING COLD!
& Amy: ... He showed up in the middle of the night with his bongos. I foolishly thought it was some sort of musical booty call.
& Penny: Please let me cut your hair.
Sheldon: Amy, what do you think?
Amy: There’s not a hair on my body I wouldn’t let this woman trim.
& Sheldon: Thank you for letting me sleep on your couch.
Amy: There’s only so many times a woman can say, “How about the bed?”
& Leonard: What’s this about Sheldon seeing you naked?
Sheldon: Oh, relax. It was just her bottom and her breasts.
& Penny: Yeah, I’m gonna have to move.
--
On the Imdb.
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