We're Going to the Catskills!

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 2×4

Abe: You can't bring everything!
Midge: Next is clamdiggers...
Rose: It's the Catskills; you can't have too many clamdiggers.
Abe: Yes, you can!

Midge: What about picnic dresses? We each have four. Should I bring them all?
Rose: There may be four picnics...
Abe: Or you can wear the same picnic dress to more than one picnic!
Rose: Oh, Abe.
Midge: Papa, you're too much.

Midge: Papa, please do not micromanage this. We have a system.
Abe: Your system is to bring everything you own!

Abe: Ladies, we've been over this. The trailer has 163 cubic feet of space. Do you understand? There's finite capacity! ... I've made precisely scaled models. ... They're not toys! ... They're cute, yes, but they're not toys. And right now, after much effort, all our tiny luggage fits in our tiny trailer.

Susie: Alone, I am a spittoon; with you, I'm a somebody.
Midge: That's not true, Susie. They respect you because they fear you; you're great at what you do.
Susie: Mm, half of them respect me, maybe. The other half want to get in your pants.
Midge: Oh, stop.
Susie: It's gonna happen. I mean, look at you. It's like a dollop of whipped cream grew a head.

Midge: What's this?
Susie: Gigs. My typewriter lost its "S." That's why it says "Aturday," "Unday." You went to college; you can figure it out.

Susie: You're going to the Catskills for two months?!
Midge: I told you a million times I was going to the Catskills.
Susie: Yeah, but I figured it was five days, tops, not two fucking months.

Susie: What the hell do you do up there for two months?
Midge: Lots of things.
Susie: What things? You look at a tree, you go to bed, you get up, you look at a tree. You gonna do that for two straight months? What the fuck is going on up there?

Midge: There's activities. We go boating, we sunbathe... What do you do for the summer?
Susie: I stay here. And I sweat. And I smell like a bum. And I'm miserable, and I want to kill people. And I do that till it gets cold.

---

Susie: How many times do I have to say this? We are coworkers, not friends. Want some proof? Look... No friendship ring. Case closed.

Pauly: ...And on the bright side, you're free to load up on rice pudding tonight.

Buzz: Hey, now, what are all these employees doing standing around? Get on up here and help me lead the group in the "Steiner Resort Welcome Song." One, two, three, four.

Buzz: Just the girls now.
—— ♪ Play all day and dance all night ♪
Buzz: Now the boys.
—— ♪ All us happy Israelites... ♪

Joel: Did I miss the bear shit joke?

Pauly: Always expect the unexpected here at Steiner Mountain Resort. Well, you know what I always say. Abi gezunt! Everybody! Abi?
—— Gezunt!

Rose: Weird! I've got the perfect girl for him...

Joel: [I] used to love fireworks. Now they're just... Lights in the sky.

Joel: You think we're ever really forgiven for the mistakes we've made?
Benjamin: Who do you want doing the forgiving? God?
Joel: People.
Benjamin: People never forgive. Not in my experience. They say they do, but they don't. I'm not even sure forgiveness really matters.

Benjamin: Well, what is it, forgiveness? It doesn't mean anything. I mean, you still did what you did, right? Nothing's changed. Forgiveness is a mindset. Synapses in your brain telling you to think differently about something that's already happened. It's amorphous. It's not really there. And if it's not really there... what is it?
Joel: God, I hope that's not true.

Benjamin: Just do what I do, stay away from people. If you're not around them, there are no mistakes to be made.

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+ Guide to Mrs. Maisel’s Best Catskills References