The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy

Rick and Morty 3x5

Rick: It's a Rick and Jerry adventure! Rick and Jerry episode!

Jerry: Huh. This seems... kind of fancy.
Rick: Jerry, for all you know, this is the equivalent of an alien truck stop. You have no frame of reference. You're in a universe beyond your imagining. But, yes, it is super fancy.

Risotto Groupon: Look, I'm not like Rick, so you're free to do as you please. But there comes a time in every man's life when he must choose the foundation on which his legacy will be built... One of compromise or one of blood.

Jerry: I'm sorry. I-I made a mistake. I won't do it again!
Rick: Nobody ever does.

Jerry: You took my family!
Rick: I took your family? Who do you think had more taken from them when you shot 20 ccs of liquid dream-killer into my daughter? She was Rick's daughter, Jerry. She had options!

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Rick: You act like prey, but you're a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That's how you survive! I survive because I know everything. That snakes survives because children wander off, and you survive because people think, "Oh, this poor piece of [bleep]. He never gets a break."

Rick: There's a space port 20 miles south. We'll be able to board a galaxy class cruise ship and jump through a wormhole that will put us within spitting distance of the Milky Way. But, hey, it's about the journey, not the destination, right, Jerry?

TSA Guard: It's a synaptic dampener that blocks violent tendencies and controversial thought. He will now be an ideal passenger.
Rick: I want cookies and a 90-minute cut of "Avatar."
Jerry: Seriously?
TSA Guard: Quit it. It'll wear off in six hours. It's cheaper than banning dangerous people from flights. I mean, let everybody buy a ticket, right? Otherwise, the terrorists win.

Beth: I'm sorry I'm not a classic maternal archetype. Okay, I don't know what to do when you people come to me with your weird puberty issues. What are you gonna do when your daughter asks you if she's attractive?
Morty: I'll say "yes"!
Beth: Morty, gross!

Rick: Stay strong, Jerry. I believe in you!

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