Rick and Morty 3x4
Morty: Rick, the Vindicators only call when the universe itself is at stake. They're the first line of defense against evil. They're the guardians of the unguarded!
Rick: They're the writers of their own press releases, Morty. They're a bunch of drama queens that spend an hour talking and 20 minutes jumping around while shit blows up. They're a phase.
Morty: Vindicator Command Ship... Beacon received. We're doing Vindicators Twoooooo!
Rick: Uh, Morty, you might want to freeze some sperm...
Supernova: I trust you can be of service there.
Rick: Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. Ability to do anything... But only whenever I want... Yeah, that sounds like a job for me.
Supernova: Actually, we assembled a second time last summer to fight Doomnomitron.
Morty: So this is... Vindicators Three? And you guys did Vindicators Two... without us?
Morty: They did a whole Vindicators without us. A bunch of them got killed, too. They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde...
Rick: Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there.
Rick: Don't worry, Morty, they love you. Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along and react to everything like it's mind blowing.
Morty: I... think the personality conflict might have been... you?
Rick: Jesus... How awesome is that? I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad they murdered three innocent heroes of color and they still had to bring me back?
Vance Maximus: Everyone in the universe is a hero. All you have to do is know the difference between good and bad, and root for good.
Morty: Rick says good and bad are artificial constructs.
Vance Maximus: Yeah, well, I get the feeling... He kind of needs that to be the case.
Supernova: "Obviously?" You came here and defeated our arch nemesis... while so drunk you don't remember doing it? That's something "obvious" to you?
Rick: Look, I'm a lit... little more complex than you guys, and, no offense, but I've always suspected that a lot of what you do in a year could be knocked out in a couple of hours.
Morty: Rick, is... Is this a "Saw" thing? Are you seriously Sawing the Vindicators?
Rick: Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack.
Drunk Rick: 'If you break the rules, lose the game or try to leave, you will die. Like in "Sawwww."'
Morty: Guys! I figured it out... It was a bit. All of the descriptors apply to all of you. Drunk Rick's point is that none of you are very special or different. That's always his point.
Drunk Rick: The Vindicators say their job is to fight evil wherever it hides, but they don't... Pick the location you'll... You'll never hear them even mention, because to fight darkness is to fight yourself.
Supernova: What the hell is "Israel"?!
Morty: It-It's just something Rick starts talking about when he's blackout drunk.
Rick: W-What? In w... In w-w-what? Like, w-w-what's my point?
Morty: In a way that has no point, you just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations and then you pass out.
Rick: So, to be clear, I sometimes reference the geopolitical complexities of the topic... Which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place.
Million Ants: I have not stake in this...
Rick: I don't either, I'm... I'm just saying, if anything, the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel he wants what's best for it and...
Million Ants: Hey, man, I'm not touching this. You do you.
Rick: I know you were sucking the Kool-Aid out of the Vindicators. So the fact that I was right about them must be pretty hard to admit.
Morty: Yeah, it is. You know why, Rick? Because when you're an asshole, it doesn't matter how right you are, nobody wants to give you the satisfaction.
Rick: I know. Everyone wants people they like to be right. That's why popular people are [bleep] dumb. And why your pretentious, poorly-written, high-budget friends back there can eat a double-decker shit sandwich.
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