Getting Over Jeff.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 3×7

Heather: God, I miss being a student... Is there something you can fill out when you used to be a student, but now you're not a student?
Rebecca: I think it's called a job application.

Dr. Shin: I know you want an A-plus, but I need to challenge you to get a different type of grade.
Rebecca: What's better than an A-plus?
Dr. Shin: A C-plus.

Dr. Shin: ...for someone like you, the overachieving is part of the issue. You need to relax.
Rebecca: Relax? ....
Dr. Shin: Hey, you need to put the pencil down. You have been in a therapy bubble. All right? It is time to take steps into the real world.
Rebecca: The real world? No, no, I don't want that, 'cause what if I mess things up?
Dr. Shin: Then that's okay. Go out there and make some messes, have some adventures. And stop being so hard on yourself.
Rebecca: I mean, you're right. I am hard on myself. God, it's one of my worst qualities. God, I'm such a dumb, loser, hard-on-myself bitch.
Dr. Shin: That. Stop doing that.
Rebecca: I just don't want to fail.
Dr. Shin: You need to redefine failure.

Paula: I know I was AWOL with Rebecca, but I'm back. I'm here. I am doing laundry, I am flushing toilets, I am helping with homework... Okay, let's face it, I am doing homework.

Paula: Oh, sometimes I wish I could just touch a stone wall and go back to 1743 to be with my other husband, the Scottish warrior, and... you don't watch Outlander, do you?

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Nathaniel: I'm probably just feeling a little weird because I accidentally had dairy yesterday. I asked for a grilled cheese sandwich, but I said “no cheese, no bread, I just want a hot, salty tomato”. But, you know, they don't listen...

Paula: That's... That's my Josh Chan.

Paula: You dumped me in the parking lot of the mall after we saw Fried Green Tomatoes.
Jeff: I'm sorry. What a jerk I was...
Paula: Yeah, so ever since then, I hear Kathy Bates do a Southern accent, and I have to leave the room.

Rebecca: I've never watched conservative news before. All the women look exactly the same, like they're old, blonde Miss USA’s. Why is that?

Rebecca: Bob, be real. You don't agree with all this stuff, right? I mean, you don't think everyone should own a gun?
Bob O'Brien: Oh, no. They should own two guns... one for animals, one for people.

Rebecca: I'll be right there. I'm just busy getting a C-plus in getting D-runk!

Rebecca: You never do anything for yourself... You're always too busy being a good wife and mom and friend and co-worker. You're like everyone's big spoon. You're so reliable.

Rebecca: Who's your friend?
Paula: My friend? Um... He... she... She's a she. Sheila Girlface.
Rebecca: “Sheila Girlface”?
Paula: Yeah, well, it's Girlfacce, but, you know, they had to change it at Ellis Island. Assimilation is a rape.

Paula: ...so I'm free to do what I want to do, which is go to church.
Rebecca: Okay, bye. Okay. Tell God I say... well, he knows how I feel.

Hector: Look at Josh. You guys can't miss this. He thinks he's Tom Cruise in Cocktail.

Bob O'Brien: Take one step closer to her and I'll turn you into a great soprano.

Rebecca: You know what size spoons fit together the best?.. Same-size spoons.

Paula: If I could... go through a magical stone wall and pick any man in any time period... in any universe... I would pick Brad Pitt in Thelma & Louise.
Scott: Strong choice. Me same.
Paula: And when he turned me down... I'd pick you.
Scott: Really?
Paula: Yeah. Every day of the week.

Rebecca: You know, my whole life, I've only known how to be, like, really good or really bad. But being a human... is living in that kind of in-between space, it's making mistakes, and that's very scary, but... also very cool.
Dr. Shin: Great work. You, my friend, get an A-plus on your C-plus.

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