Look, She Made a Hat

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 2×7

Benjamin: You are a great date to bring to something you know nothing about and have no interest in.
Midge: Wait till you see me at a boxing match.

Midge: There's this sad little room back there.
Oh, yeah, that's where they put the very minor artists, or the mops.
Midge: Well, I didn't see a mop, just paintings, like this. Oh, hey, it came with a hat.
Benjamin: All the great ones do.
Midge: I like it. My first art acquisition.

Joel: At 4:00 this afternoon, I went down to the bank, and after some negotiating, some pleading, some bloodletting, this building, the building that houses the Maisel and Roth Garment Company, is officially ours. We bought it, we own it, it will absolutely kill us, the interest is criminal, I anticipate dropping dead right on this spot, but I own this spot, I get to.
Archie: Such a strange mixture of happiness and horror...
Mrs. Moskowitz: Oh, you're clearly not Jewish, dear.

Joel: Enjoy the food and the drinks, because you people are the Roth to my Maisel, and I thank you very much.

Mrs. Moskowitz: We don't expect you to be alone. We'd just like you to not pick up a venereal disease.

Joel: You know, it was exactly one year ago I blew up my entire life... Yom Kippur, atone for your sins. I'm the fucking poster boy.

Declan Howell: Extraordinary... Your face, the color, it's like... cream, or is it milk? It's some kind of... magical dairy product. I've been trying to find a color like that for years. It's like Vermeer painted you or you swallowed a light bulb.
Midge: It's the latter. Did I mention that this is Benjamin Ettenberg?

Midge: Trust me, I know how to handle drunk, handsy guys. There's no part of this body that hasn't been groped or poked or pinched or patted.
Benjamin: Lovely.
Midge: ... You learn how to deal with it. Keep your thighs locked, keep your arms crossed. A well-timed "What's that?" never fails to defuse an incoming pass. Chewing is a big lifesaver. Plus, the real saver that all those pervs don't know about: girdles. In a girdle, you can't feel a damn thing. These guys might as well be groping a parking meter.

Mrs. Moskowitz: If you're going to be that available, you should consider putting a doorbell on your blouse.

Joel: Baby number three. Congratulations... You did it. You got the American Dream. Wife, family... you got it all. And you knew how to keep it. That's the secret. Any schmuck can get it. You knew how to keep it. Family's very important. You have to hold on to a family...

Midge: I can't.
Susie: You can.
Midge: It's Yom Kippur.
Susie: Who gives a shit?
Midge: Susie. Yom Kippur. High holidays. Break-fast. Temple. Family. Guilt.

---

Susie: God understands show business. He invented it.
Midge: Susie...
Susie: October fucking 12th!

Midge: We got the rabbi?
Rose: We got the rabbi.
— We got the rabbi!

Susie: Nobody's happy, Tess. I'm not happy, you're not happy, these assholes aren't happy. Happy has skipped this house altogether.

Declan Howell: No, I know who you are. Who's he?
Benjamin: Uh, I'm...
Midge: Boyfriend. This is my boyfriend.
Benjamin: And a collector.
Midge: He does both. The collecting and the boyfriending.

Declan Howell: Um... wine? It's a bit early in the day, I think, for a real drink. ..... One day closer to death...

Benjamin: What exactly is for sale?
Declan Howell: My soul.

Midge: It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen...

Declan Howell: It'll never happen because... everything I have, I put into that. Nothing left.
Midge: I think that's very sad.
Declan Howell: Well, that's the way it is. If you... if you want to do something great... you want to take something as far as it'll go... you can't have everything. You lose... family. Sense of home. But then... look at what exists.

Susie: You sure?
Tess: The highlight of my day is thinking up different ways to kill my husband. One of us needs a win.
Susie: Thanks, sis... Beat him to death with his leg?
Tess: I'll put it on the list.

Abe: I don't understand why you get to sit!
Moishe: The elder can sit, rabbi said.
Abe: We are the same age, and I'm standing!
Moishe: Well, good for you. You get to be king of the Jews. How'd that work out for the last guy?

Abe: Tell them. Tell them what you're doing. It's time.
Midge: Are you sure?
Abe: I am not going to lie for you right after Yom Kippur. I'm not gonna blow a year's worth of sinning in the first two hours.

Moishe: God, I would kill for the hole of the bagel right about now!

Joel: You have a room full of unfed Jews in there. That's a lot of desperation and rage in the air.

Zelda: What you mean, you're not hungry?!
Midge: He had some candy earlier.
Zelda: He couldn't wait until dinner?
Midge: Well, he's four. That's little.
Zelda: Four-year-olds in my village worked! They made shoes, they herded sheep, they hid guns.
Ethan: Yom Kippur is scary.
Midge: I know, honey. Go to your room, lock the door.

Susie: Hi. I was, uh, summoned.

Susie: Hi, Abe.
Abe: Very good. Deducing that I am Abe, Miriam's father. Hello, person I've never met before. Nice to see you for the very first time.

Rose: You were a plumber at Steiner's... You came to fix our sink, and when you left, it was worse.
Midge: She's not a plumber, Mama.
Rose: I should say not.

Rose: Why is your manager a plumber? I don't see how those two skill sets interact.

Midge: I want to be big. I want to be the biggest thing out there.
Susie: Tits up?
Midge: Tits up.

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